Kitchen Queen Contest Entry #9 - Topher's Blue Ribbon Apple Pie
I didn't think I had any recipes with me being that most of my knick-knacks, trinkets, bibelots, treasures and fur pieces, are in storage in sunny Bonita Springs Florida. However, I discovered this gem in my trusty 1980's era briefcase and knew that I just had to share this with you Bitches. I discovered this at a restaurant in Chicago called "The Prairie" (I believe it was in Printer's Row) and soon it made it's way to the pages of Bon Appetit (January 1993). This is a deep dish apple pie with some nuts (insert pun here), a bit of carmel/chocolate and all the tartness you deserve (well, maybe not ALL). Scrumptious can not begin to describe the taste of this dish and if I had the means (and the test kitchen) to make it again, this would be a fabulous prelude to......
Blue Ribbon Apple Pie
8 servings
Crust
2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick bitches) chilled (not frozen) unsalted butter and cut into pieces
1/3 cup chilled solid vegetable shortening, cut into pieces
1/3 cup sugar
1 large egg, beaten
1 teaspoon distilled white vinegar
2 tablespoons ice water (approx measure)
Combine flour and salt in medium bowl. Cut butter and shortening in, with a fork, until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Stir in sugar, egg and vinegar. Mix in just enough ice water, 1 tablespoon at a time, to form dough that holds together. Divide the dough in half and flatten each half into a disc. Wrap each in saran wrap and chill 4 hours or overnight.
Filling
2/3 cup packed dark brown sugar
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 all purpose flour
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 pounds tart green apples (such as Granny Smith) - peeled, cored and cut into 1/4" slices
1/4 cup (1/2 stick Bitches) unsalted butter
Combine first 7 ingredients in a large bowl. Add apples and toss them to coat. Melt butter in a large heavy skillet over medium high heat. Add the apples and cook until the apples are slightly softened....about 10 minutes.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F...on a floured surface, roll out 1 dough piece to a 14 inch diameter round . Transfer the dough to a 9" deep dish glass pie dish. Fit the dough into the dish and turn the edges leaving 1/2 inch overhang. Fold the overhang under and let it rest on the rim (it's tired after all that pounding - take a sip from the vodka fountain, if parched) Line the crust with foil and fill with pie weights or dried beans. Bake 10 minutes. Remove the foil and weights/beans and bake until the crust is set but has no color - about 5 minutes.
Cool.
Streusel
3/4 cup all purpose flour
4 1/2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons (that's 1/4 stick Bitches) unsalted butter
3 1.4 ounce chocolate covered English Toffee Bars (such as Heath), chopped
1 large egg beaten with 2 tablespoons water (glaze)
Combine the flour and sugar and using a fork, mix in the butter until it resembles coarse meal and then stir in the toffee.
On a floured surface, roll out the second disc of dough to 14" round diameter. Mound (not mount but hey, whatever) the apple filling into the pre-baked pie crust and sprinkle the streusel over the pie. Top this with second crust. Trim the dough leaving a 1/2 overhang and pinch the crusts together (as in a gentle pinch, not a titty twister) to seal the edges. Brush pie with the glaze. Cut 5 slits into the stop to allow steam to escape.
Bake until the crust is golden and the apples are tender - about 55 minutes. Cool the pie one hour.
What you do with it, and/or serve with it, is completely up to you.
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Chocolate streusel and apples sounds like a sort of wacky combo, but I'm trusting Topher on this.
ReplyDeletePEENEE: “Wacky” is the secret ingredient here on Infomaniac.
Deletethe combination makes a great exfoliant that you can apply to your epidermis, whilst you are doing yoga!
DeleteI am still trying to erase the image of Peenee in a naked downward dog position.
DeleteIt sounds delightful and absolutely naughty with the toffee bits in there...
ReplyDeleteI'll try it!
Not me boys,
DeleteI always get norma after a hard morning of drinking ----->
have i just been dissed?
DeleteMore akin to a badge of honor...
DeleteWALLY & NORMA: Behave yourselves, ladies.
DeleteThere’s enough pie for everyone.
"yoo-hoo, WALLY!"
DeleteA classic moment in homo history, Norma.
DeleteMmmmm!
DeleteCoconut Cream...
Fancy apple pie with crunchies!! *droooool*
ReplyDeleteOH LORDY YOU PEOPLE ARE KILLING ME WITH THESE!!
Death by sugar overdose!
DeletePlease sir, can I have some more... :)
ReplyDeleteOn a side note- I love how the comment placement has my eye level at cocks. ---------->
ReplyDeleteUTE: It appears to have shifted since you left your comment!
DeleteAsscrack, at the moment. The ol' 'Third Eye Blind'. Ring a ding doo. The barking starfish. Rear exit. The croaking smokehole. Butt.
DeleteOh my... definitely the best recipe of the contest.
ReplyDeleteAND I MEAN IT THIS TIME!
and I fully agree with Ute ---------->
JON: Are you familiar with the English expression, “Shut your pie hole?”
DeleteNever heard it before but it sounds like a wonderful recipe. I'd be delighted to give it a try.
DeleteHUGGY JON: Same goes for your “cake hole.”
DeleteJon, you're now pointing (via keyboard) at a hard boiled egg cup fulla hairy gonad. This blog is getting more postmodern by the minute.
DeleteShould have thought about the shifting as more replies came in. Aaarrrgh!
DeleteOriginally, It was pointing at the cookie monster.
toffee....apples....nice.
ReplyDeleteNORMA: You with your salt and caramel and Topher with his toffee and apples…you’re two sweet Bitches.
DeleteI am honored to be in such magnificent company as Katherine Hepburn....I mean, Miss Desmond.
Deleteif my head wasn't shaking so much, i'd slap you.
DeleteNot even going to make a crack about 'Parkinsons' here. I have standards. *ducks*
DeleteVery nice, especially the crust. Plus, we don't have to wash our hands for this one.
ReplyDeletePS: Mistress, did I win yet?
VON LX: WASH YOUR HANDS, DAMMIT!
DeleteOr we'll set Aunty June on you! Jx
DeleteJON: I suppose if Isabella Rossellini can depict insects having sex in Green Porno, June Whitfield can portray a bacterium!
DeleteBy the by, does everyone in the UK have a CBE?
I'm aiming for a DBE, myself. After all, there is nothing like one! Jx
DeleteJON: Ha!
Delete♫Nothing in the world♫
I’ve heard that Ken Dodd’s buckteeth are insured for £4 million.
Oh, and he’s an OBE, proving that not everyone is a CBE
"Combine first 7 ingredients in a large bowl. Add apples and toss them to coat."
ReplyDeleteEvery thing was going so well until this point.
I think that my coat was hanging a little too far away and now the mixture is all on the floor...
Does anyone have a mop handy perchance?
Next time... Should I perhaps move the coat a little closer or... just toss a little harder?
Anyway... it looks from the picture you have provided Topher... to be the perfect apple pie. Thanks for a wonderful recipe....
PRINNY: Infomaniac is not responsible for dry cleaning costs.
DeleteIt's just calling for a dollop of clotted cream. Yummy! Jx
ReplyDeleteJON: Join us on our cream tea road trip, won’t you?
DeleteEwww. Creampies - how very sordid. Jx
DeleteOH....the first time i had
Deleteclotted cream, the british are geniuses!
Could One use Midget Gems instead of the toffee bar?
ReplyDeleteMITZI: We await Topher’s response.
DeleteIn the meantime, I clicked on the link and have a question…
What does “diddy” mean where it says midget gems are “nice and diddy?”
Tiny. As in "the Diddymen" or indeed "P Diddy" Jx
DeleteOops...my Ken Dodd comment was posted elsewhere on here but you'll find it.
DeleteI thought "ickle" meant tiny.
We're like Eskimos in the UK - hundreds of different words for more or less the same thing... Jx
Delete..thus providing hundreds of possible answers to the musical question: Cain't somebody please tell me what 'diddy wah diddy' means??
DeleteRULE BRITTANIA!
On Manfred Mann's "Doo Wah Diddy": "singer Paul Jones met the songs' writer Jeff Barry in New York and asked him what the title meant. Barry replied 'It means I'll never have to work again'."
DeleteJx
I suppose one could use Midget Gems but not sure why "one" would.....midgets would be better if you must.
DeleteA Quater of LTD are situated in Blackburn, Lancashire. It's just the type of word they'd use to describe something very small or tiny, it's not a word Mitzi likes to use.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I'd love to diddle around here all night with you Bitches, I've another recipe entry to crank out.
ReplyDeleteStay tuned.