Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Kitchen Queen Contest Entry #5 - Mitzi's "Grandma Ermintrude's Jammy Rings"

Kitchen Queen Contest Entry #5 - Mitzi's "Grandma Ermintrude's Jammy Rings"



I've always had a reputation for serving the most wonderful cakes and biscuits. Delia Smith got down on her knees and begged me for this recipe, but I refused to reveal it until she bunged me a few quid. I've guarded this recipe with my life for years, until now, so here it is. I've adapted it to suit my healthy lifestyle as the original recipe is an all butter shortbread with full calorie jam! Can you imagine that?



Grandma Ermintrude's Jammy Rings.

makes 6

Ingredients

2 cups of porridge oats
2 cups of Kelloggs All-bran
1 cup of honey
1 cup of artificial sugar
Pinch of Lo salt
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract...never use vanilla flavouring, I'd rather you leave it out altogether then use that muck (I like to use a glug of whiskey)
Milk

For the filling
Low calorie strawberry jam

Method

Preheat the oven to 160ºC. In a grinder, mill the porridge oats and All-bran into a fine flour, you can use a coffee grinder or if you have a spare couple of hours use a pestle and mortar. Place dry ingredients into a bowl add honey and vanilla extract and enough milk to form a dough.

Lightly flour a board and roll it out to 1/2 inch thickness. With a cutter cut out twelve rounds. Using a smaller cutter, cut peep holes in the centre of half of the biscuits. Smear bottoms generous with strawberry jam, sandwich the rounds together in pairs, with the peep holes uppermost.

Place in the oven, middle shelf for 15-20 minutes.

place on a wire rack to cool.

Enjoy!









39 comments:

  1. I seldom have something about the house that causes the husband to scream and retch, but grandma's dusty muffin did just that.

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  2. Everything was looking fine until I scrolled doon and saw Granny! Gaaaah!

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    Replies
    1. Doon?

      Have you turned Scottish, Ute?

      Delete
  3. The best recipe of the contest so far...

    ...I think!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Jon, Granny Min would have been so proud.

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    2. Huggy Jon says that to ALL the girls, Mitzi.

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    3. I'm gonna make it with maple syrup instead of honey because here, we put maple syrup in everything.

      EVERYTHING!!!

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    4. Jon’s not kidding, Mitzi.

      Maple syrup is the life blood of our nation.

      Delete
    5. Maple syrup should be in everything. I actually dreamt about maple candy last night.

      Delete
  4. You know I'm all about any recipes that includes the term "peephole."

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    Replies
    1. Peepholes AND smearing the bottoms generously.

      Delete
  5. Can I use Granny's "rack" to cool them?

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    Replies
    1. You would have to dig her up first!

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    2. Zombie Granny!

      Margaret keeps a shovel in her trunk for such purposes.

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    3. "Who would dare to intrude
      On the grave of Grandma Ermintrude,
      For none thought she was a prude;
      After all, she walked around in the nude.



      Sorry. I know I suck at poetry but I had to spit that one out of my guts. It sounded better in French, I swear!

      Delete
    4. That was beautiful Jon, I'm not ashamed to say that bit of doggerel brought a little tear to my eye.

      Delete
  6. It looks really wonderful! Personally, I would have to go with real sugar, salt, and jam instead. Sorry.

    PS: Mistress, did I win yet?

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    Replies
    1. And the award for “The most repetitive and most reliably asked question from any Infomaniac Bitch” goes to Von LX.

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    2. Loathe though I am to say it as he/she persists in annoying you so, but I'm with LX on this one - real sugar, real salt, real jam and real all-butter shortcake please! Yummy... And so much tastier than porridge. Jx

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    3. Haven't you heard of sugar damaged skin?

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    4. If it's good enough for Linsey... Jx

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  7. The Linzer torte is always a winning recipe..

    I wanted to be snarky about this, but Obama just kept the presidency...

    And the senate is stable!!!

    Forgive me, I'll be a Titanic Twat later.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you saying you have a big twat, Wally?

      The election was a nail-biter and Mistress MJ ruined a perfectly good manicure but she is baking a Victory Cake as we speak.

      YAY to everyone who voted!

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    2. Now you know how I feel like during the Eurovision Song Contest!

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  8. grandma's o-ring seems to have fallen out.

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    Replies
    1. It's exactly that part about the fall out of silicone breasts that I don't get. But I guess if I leave it out, it won't ruin the recipe.

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    2. Spoken like someone who’s been there, Norma.

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    3. why yes.....and jelly was involved.

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  9. I like the part where I smear my bottom with strawberry jam. And even though I didn't fit in the oven, I found another way to get baked, so it's all good...and high in fiber to boot. DAMN I LOVE THIS COMPO!!! *peeks through oatey cookie*

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  10. ..yeah I've been blowing smoke out my jammy ring all morning. Washington State just made it legal!!!

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  11. ...and while I'm running off at the typewriter I'd like to say that these sound delicious. I love the flavors involved here and I think the substitutions work perfectly, too. You took what was a very boring Christmas treat and turned it into something with character and flavor. In short, you freakin' GO, Mitzi.

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  12. What? No Election Day special entitled "once you go black you'll never go back"?

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    Replies
    1. I'm wearing that slogan on my t-shirt, if that's any help... Jx

      Delete
  13. has Grandma been waiting very long for her spray tan?...

    ReplyDelete
  14. You have to put a electric plug to your grandma ass first and plug in.

    ReplyDelete