Grow a Boyfriend! Mr. Right grows 600% his size in water! Place your grow item in room temperature water. It will begin to grow within 2 hours and will be full size in 72 hours. When removed from water it will slowly shrink back to its original size. Your grow item can be grown again and again!
Earlier this month, we asked you to tell us why you need a new boyfriend (or girlfriend, as the case may be).
Well now it’s time to vote for your favourite. The bitch with the most votes wins a new boyfriend.
Everyone is welcome to vote but you cannot vote for your own entry.
Simply select your fave plea for a new boyfriend/girlfriend from the following list. The name of each blogger is under their entry …
I want a Grow A Girlfriend, because I can enjoy her company whenever I want and put her away without worrying about her complaining or nagging about my friends or habits or my penchant for sci fi and video games, fishing and the firing range.
And I don't have to worry about her hogging all the covers at night or using all the hot water, taking forever to get ready and complaining about having nothing to wear, and I won't have to deal with monthly meltdowns and mood swings.
The REAL question is--why does HE deserve ME!?
- Michael Rivers
Maybe a grow your own dildo that doesn’t talk back. I just want the size and shape of a boyfriend. This grow your own boyfriend sounds enticing but I’m still trying to remove the dent in my mattress from the last occupant. Now I know why you need a new mattress...bad boyfriends leave bad boyfriend energy burred in your mattress.
Do they make a grow your own cat?
Actually I don't want another boyfriend. I'm kind of in the market, the black market, for a gay slave with a ball gag so he can't talk back.
But I don't want to have to grow him or water him everyday.
I don't need a new boyfriend per se but is there a 'f*ck me like the bitch that I am' substitute?
- Michael Guy
I don't like my sister's boyfriend - if I had a substitute I could push the one I don't like over a cliff.
- Lulu LaBonne
Things have been a little slow in that department for some time now. Willing to consider reasonably convincing post-op.
As far as I'm concerned, the more the merrier.
- Miss Scarlet
And What... may one ask... does one do with a new home groan boyfriend?
If only we wer'nt on water restrictions... the pleasure he would bring.
No more snoring, grunting and dutch ovens. Food crumbs and toenail clippings to discover in those hidden nooks and crannies.
No complaints of "turn off that light i'm trying to sleep"... just when I get to the juicy bit of the penny dreadful I'm reading. Oh the un interupted reading I would enjoy. What Bliss. Utter Bliss...
Because I've always wanted to date a choking hazard.
What flavours does this boyfriend come in? Josh Brolin? Connor Trinneer? Simon Reeve? Tim?!
Hold the sprinkles, please.
- Inexplicable DeVice (IVD)
I need a new boyfriend because:
* I want to make the old one jealous so he'll come back to me.
* It'll give me the excuse to personally deliver it to Michael Rivers for his comment.
* It'll be good to watch something grow 600% and know I did it.
* Piggy's already got all the boyfriend he can handle. All any of us can handle. Including the love handles.
* I can take him out on a dinner date and say "Oh, don't you want yours?" - and scoff his food like I'm doing him a favour.
* I can leave him in my bed to make it look like I'm asleep - while I climb out the window to go partying all night.
* I can send Infomaniac some photos of it when it's fully, um, erect.
because I'm sad, needy and desperate for love.
sure, send me a new boyfriend and i'll shoot him in the fucking back just like the last one.
max, MAX....turn on the water!
kabuki -star of both stage AND screen - has had to carry the garbage out since 1986. That is the only reason to have a boyfriend, and that is all I would have him do. Unless I spilled something. "Boyfriend - absorb that spilled mai tai." (Instead of absorbing everything in my refridgerator) PLUS - even megastars get lonely. Or so i have been told.
- kabuki zero
That’s it, bitches!
You have all day Monday and Tuesday to vote.
The winner will be announced on Wednesday!