Sunday, January 03, 2010

Choose Your Shoes

From the six shoe styles pictured below, you must choose only one pair.

SHOE #1:



SHOE #2:



SHOE #3:



SHOE #4:



SHOE #5:



SHOE #6:



Now tell us the following:

a) Why they match your personality

or

b) How they will change your life

55 comments:

  1. I'm going with Shoe #5. I could compete in the Vancouver Olympics ski jump!

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  2. #5 also. why? because when a house falls on me (and one will) and my toes curl up, my shoes will already be there.

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  3. Shoe #4. Because I suspect I might have been Beau Brummel in another life.

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  4. Number 3, because we're both from the swamp.

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  5. XL: I'm going with Shoe #5. I could compete in the Vancouver Olympics ski jump!

    I’d join you but ski jumping is the only activity in the Olympic Winter Games that does not allow women to compete.

    The bastards.

    NORMADESMOND: #5 also. why? because when a house falls on me (and one will) and my toes curl up, my shoes will already be there.

    Or the curled toes could indicate that you’re experiencing what the French call la petite mort.

    LEAH: Shoe #4. Because I suspect I might have been Beau Brummel in another life.

    I take it you’ve met Donn’s alter ego, Lord Tennisanyone?

    JASON: Number 3, because we're both from the swamp.

    I hope we’re talking gators and not Crocs!

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  6. Dear Mistress,

    I am choosing Choo Number 2 as they will Defifnitely compliment my Bubbly persona. I think that Minor Champagne spillages will be less noticable given their Shiny Golden Glow.

    To wear them I am afraid would be far too much of a life changing experience, as Princess is Always in Stilletto Choos!

    Although....I suppose that I could use them for Houseboy target practice!

    Luv Princess

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  7. Definitely Number 6. My feet are so big, one pair could put crocodiles back on the endangered list where they belong.

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  8. Shoe five! Classic, white, great cut. Goes with everything.

    I clothes that I can dress up or down and wear anywhere. That makes me sounds like a wanker - someone who doesn't shop at Target. One of those shoes would be more than my fortnightly wage, by the looks of it!

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  9. clearly I can't proof read... I meant to say ' I like clothes that I can dress up or down '

    Hmm. I might blame the missing chunk out of my forefinger, but then I'd have to tell you how it's missing, wouldn't I?

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  10. Shoe Number 4 definitely.

    I love that strapped in feeling :)

    Strap me in / down and off we go :)

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  11. Must I choose a pair? Really?

    Oh, OK. I choose #5 because, unlike any of the others, they look like they have grippy soles. It's really cold and icy here, so if I have to leave the house on foot, I want to be wearing shoes that aren't going to see me on You've Been Framed (a Candid Camera-type show in Britland).

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  12. Number two of course!

    Because they are sparkly, gold, slightly tacky, fairly gaudy and the other choices, quite frankly, look worse.

    I'm sure I'll end up looking like Liberace in them though. Oh horror! Where are my hot pink Dolce & Gabbana pumps when I need them!

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  13. I'd go for pair #2. Shapely and sparkley.

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  14. So many many choices. Hmm. This requires some thought.

    First, the ones that didn't make the cut:

    #2. Nice shine, but it's too long and pointy and narrow at the toes. The toecaps will arrive ten minutes before I do. And people crossing my path will trip and fall over them, causing much mayhem and possibly fatal injuries.

    #3. I don't like the idea of poisonous reptiles near me. And after a night of drinking, I might look down and see snakes on my feet, then freak out and scream! And in my inebriated condition, I might hurt myself trying to escape.

    #5. It's going to be a nightmare trying to keep those shoes clean. And the only places I'd be able to wear them would be at a comic book convention or in the skating rink should I become a figure skater.

    #6. Would make me look like Eurotrash--not the fun, easy going, fashionable kind, but the gaudy, loud, rude, buffoon kind living off their parents...and smells like ashtrays and toxic cologne.

    That just leaves the two choices:

    #4. Very stylish with interesting soles. I can wear it at work then head straight to a nightclub and party. Why even without a mullet and flannel shirt, with these shoes, the lesbians would welcome me deep into their fold(s).

    And my choice would be:

    #1. The black and white diamond checkered pattern has the classic mid century (1950s/60s) pizazz and panache! It says I can be serious but I'm also a lot of fun. I can wear it with a Zoot suit or jeans and a T shirt. And it'll look great at the sock hop when I do the Twist.

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  15. Do any of these come in extra-wide fitting?

    Shoe 4 for me because the insteps remind me of shin-pads and I could go dahn the West 'am wiv me mate, Russell Brand.

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  16. Number 6. Colourful. Fits well with my caramel suite(s).

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  17. The shoes of gold, number 2, please.

    Much like Elizabeth Taylor/'Cleopatra' in the 1963 film of the same name I'm choosing the shoes of gold so Marc Antony can see me arriving even from a great distance.

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  18. PRINCESS: Dear Mistress,
    I am choosing Choo Number 2 as they will Defifnitely compliment my Bubbly persona. I think that Minor Champagne spillages will be less noticable given their Shiny Golden Glow.
    To wear them I am afraid would be far too much of a life changing experience, as Princess is Always in Stilletto Choos!
    Although....I suppose that I could use them for Houseboy target practice!
    Luv Princess


    I’m all for anything that will cover the stains.

    My personal bugbear is yogurt stains.

    MR. PEENEE: Definitely Number 6. My feet are so big, one pair could put crocodiles back on the endangered list where they belong.

    Well you KNOW what they say about big feet!

    MISS SMUGGERSHAM: Shoe five! Classic, white, great cut. Goes with everything.
    I clothes that I can dress up or down and wear anywhere. That makes me sounds like a wanker - someone who doesn't shop at Target. One of those shoes would be more than my fortnightly wage, by the looks of it!
    clearly I can't proof read... I meant to say ' I like clothes that I can dress up or down '
    Hmm. I might blame the missing chunk out of my forefinger, but then I'd have to tell you how it's missing, wouldn't I?


    Where have you been sticking your digits, Miss Smuggersham?

    DAMIEN: Shoe Number 4 definitely.
    I love that strapped in feeling :)
    Strap me in / down and off we go :)


    I’ll strap one on and join you.

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  19. IVD: Must I choose a pair? Really?
    Oh, OK. I choose #5 because, unlike any of the others, they look like they have grippy soles. It's really cold and icy here, so if I have to leave the house on foot, I want to be wearing shoes that aren't going to see me on You've Been Framed (a Candid Camera-type show in Britland).


    Has ‘You’ve Been Framed’ captured you as your head tries to make clearance walking through a door frame?

    CYBERPOOF: Number two of course!
    Because they are sparkly, gold, slightly tacky, fairly gaudy and the other choices, quite frankly, look worse.
    I'm sure I'll end up looking like Liberace in them though. Oh horror! Where are my hot pink Dolce & Gabbana pumps when I need them!


    While you were preoccupied with slipping into Shoe #2, I ran off with your pumps!

    *maniacal laugh*

    ROSES: I'd go for pair #2. Shapely and sparkley.

    You’re going to have to fight Princess, CyberPete and Michael Guy for them.

    EROS: So many many choices. Hmm. This requires some thought.
    First, the ones that didn't make the cut:
    #2. Nice shine, but it's too long and pointy and narrow at the toes. The toecaps will arrive ten minutes before I do. And people crossing my path will trip and fall over them, causing much mayhem and possibly fatal injuries.
    #3. I don't like the idea of poisonous reptiles near me. And after a night of drinking, I might look down and see snakes on my feet, then freak out and scream! And in my inebriated condition, I might hurt myself trying to escape.
    #5. It's going to be a nightmare trying to keep those shoes clean. And the only places I'd be able to wear them would be at a comic book convention or in the skating rink should I become a figure skater.
    #6. Would make me look like Eurotrash--not the fun, easy going, fashionable kind, but the gaudy, loud, rude, buffoon kind living off their parents...and smells like ashtrays and toxic cologne.
    That just leaves the two choices:
    #4. Very stylish with interesting soles. I can wear it at work then head straight to a nightclub and party. Why even without a mullet and flannel shirt, with these shoes, the lesbians would welcome me deep into their fold(s).
    And my choice would be:
    #1. The black and white diamond checkered pattern has the classic mid century (1950s/60s) pizazz and panache! It says I can be serious but I'm also a lot of fun. I can wear it with a Zoot suit or jeans and a T shirt. And it'll look great at the sock hop when I do the Twist.


    You could be single-handedly responsible for the zoot suit revival.

    An idea whose time has come.

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  20. GEOFF: Do any of these come in extra-wide fitting?
    Shoe 4 for me because the insteps remind me of shin-pads and I could go dahn the West 'am wiv me mate, Russell Brand.


    But are they suitable attire when you stand up as best man at his upcoming nuptials?

    MAGO: Number 6. Colourful. Fits well with my caramel suite(s).

    Sweet suite.

    SAVANNAH: jesus wept!
    must i?


    Just DO it and be done with it!

    MICHAEL GUY: The shoes of gold, number 2, please.
    Much like Elizabeth Taylor/'Cleopatra' in the 1963 film of the same name I'm choosing the shoes of gold so Marc Antony can see me arriving even from a great distance.


    But we all know how THAT story ended!

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  21. I am not choosing any of them , they are all ghastly , Mr Eros I think you need to give a selection of cowboy boots to heal the pain.....functional AND attractive are what we are looking for

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  22. Oh, for fucks sake - they're all hideous!

    Therefore:

    a) they don't match my personality

    or

    b) they won't change my life.

    You should have had a (c) option available. It could have read something like:

    c) Would you try them on just to kick Beast in the face?

    That being the case, I would probably have chosen:

    c) Yes,I'd try any of them on for a few moments if I would be allowed to kick Beast in the face. Then remove them again knowing that they didn't match my personality but that the experience had changed my life for a few short seconds.

    In the event that Beast wasn't available, I suppose IDV or Cyberpoof would've sufficed. Although that wouldn't change my life quite so much.

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  23. Best Man? Boy, have I got some stories to tell about Russell!

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  24. BEAST: I am not choosing any of them , they are all ghastly , Mr Eros I think you need to give a selection of cowboy boots to heal the pain.....functional AND attractive are what we are looking for

    Do it or I’ll get out the rubber gloves!

    PIGGY: Oh, for fucks sake - they're all hideous!
    Therefore:
    a) they don't match my personality
    or
    b) they won't change my life.
    You should have had a (c) option available. It could have read something like:
    c) Would you try them on just to kick Beast in the face?
    That being the case, I would probably have chosen:
    c) Yes,I'd try any of them on for a few moments if I would be allowed to kick Beast in the face. Then remove them again knowing that they didn't match my personality but that the experience had changed my life for a few short seconds.
    In the event that Beast wasn't available, I suppose IDV or Cyberpoof would've sufficed. Although that wouldn't change my life quite so much.


    You’re just jealous because there’s nothing here that would look good on your horribly misshapen trotters.

    GEOFF: Best Man? Boy, have I got some stories to tell about Russell!

    Will they be included in ‘My Booky Wook 2’?

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  25. I'm sorry (really? lol) but every time I look at those shoes and others like them I automatically think 'spiv'. None for me.

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  26. LEODMAEG: I'm sorry (really? lol) but every time I look at those shoes and others like them I automatically think 'spiv'. None for me.

    Bitches who do not choose a shoe style shall be sent to the oubliette.

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  27. No 1, cos with these I can walk from a checkered past into a checkered future.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  28. The first pair is the correct selection. Having rocked black&white in each of my many fine homes, I also have harlequin moments frequently as well. Not only do I have the appropriate sublime accents in menswear - I have dishes to match. I daresay the shoes choose me - not the other way around. kabukizero

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  29. SCARLET: No 1, cos with these I can walk from a checkered past into a checkered future.

    I would like to see you try to wrestle them out of Kabuki’s clutches.

    Bitch has talons.

    KABUKI: The first pair is the correct selection. Having rocked black&white in each of my many fine homes, I also have harlequin moments frequently as well. Not only do I have the appropriate sublime accents in menswear - I have dishes to match. I daresay the shoes choose me - not the other way around. kabukizero

    Harlequin moments?

    I’m picturing you all Freddie Mercury.

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  30. Shall they indeed? Well I pity them then, in a way. But what has that got to do with what I told you?

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  31. LEODMAEG: Shall they indeed? Well I pity them then, in a way. But what has that got to do with what I told you?

    It has nothing to do with what you told me.

    But Mistress MJ is in the mood to punish someone and you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

    Maybe you’ll meet up with a spiv down in the oubliette!

    Good lord. Have you changed your avatar AGAIN?

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  32. I'm not listed as one of your bitches, so good luck trying to catch me.

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  33. I'll hypnotise you first.... -> -> ->

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  34. LEODMAEG: I'm not listed as one of your bitches, so good luck trying to catch me.

    Your blog spazzes out when I click on “continue reading” on the Dec.10 post.

    LEODMAEG: I'll hypnotise you first.... -> -> ->

    Oooo…it’s that ole hypnotizin’ boogie.

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  35. That's because you keep clicking on the wrong thing. Or did you think that the 'words' "Donec tellus tellus, tempor eget, vehicula quis, elementum pharetra, dui. Ut eu nulla. Duis sed nisi. Nullam in purus nec leo blandit dictum. Sed et risus. Etiam in justo. Donec adipiscing posuere libero. Donec est. Cras neque. [...]" actually meant something, lol?

    The page has been under construction for several months, when I can be bothered to get a round tuit.

    To leave a comment you need to click on the post bottom left, where it says "keep reading"

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  36. LEODMAEG: I was trying to read the Latin post.

    I thought you were reciting Mass and I had already begun fingering my rosary!

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  37. Give them back or else...

    Or else I'll send you Crocs from now until the day I die (which I suspect is soon after you receive the first pair)

    ReplyDelete
  38. "MJ Said:
    XL: I'm going with Shoe #5. I could compete in the Vancouver Olympics ski jump!

    I’d join you but ski jumping is the only activity in the Olympic Winter Games that does not allow women to compete.

    The bastards."

    Why are you surprised? With huge boobs hanging down your centre of gravity would shift and you'd all end up doing cartwheels through the air, ending up flat on your faces having barely left the ramp.

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  39. Just because they were in the sale MJ doesn't mean you should have bought them all. I'll opt for number 2 as they are nice and pointy, and will administer a good kick to the shins to any ditherer at the supermarket.

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  40. Shoe number 2 because if I wore them I just know THAT would change my life. Because it would be mean I'm either drunk or really confident.

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  41. CYBERPOOF: Give them back or else...
    Or else I'll send you Crocs from now until the day I die (which I suspect is soon after you receive the first pair)


    *wallops CyberPoof with Croc*

    LEODMAEG: "MJ Said:
    XL: I'm going with Shoe #5. I could compete in the Vancouver Olympics ski jump!
    I’d join you but ski jumping is the only activity in the Olympic Winter Games that does not allow women to compete.
    The bastards.

    Why are you surprised? With huge boobs hanging down your centre of gravity would
    shift and you'd all end up doing cartwheels through the air, ending up flat on your faces having barely left the ramp.


    *rolls CyberPoof into gutter, picks up Croc and wallops Leodmaeg*

    *repeatedly*

    MITZI: Just because they were in the sale MJ doesn't mean you should have bought them all. I'll opt for number 2 as they are nice and pointy, and will administer a good kick to the shins to any ditherer at the supermarket.

    Exercise caution or you’ll get an ASBO at the Asda!

    BOXER: Shoe number 2 because if I wore them I just know THAT would change my life. Because it would be mean I'm either drunk or really confident.

    Shoe number 2 is taken 10 times over.

    Try to get here earlier next time!

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  42. LEODMAEG: Don't make me do something you'll regret.

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  43. Well if it's anything like the superglue incident then this time I am forearmed. But if you want to go ski jumping then be my guest, but don't come crying to me when it all goes horrifyingly wrong, lol.

    I guess now I'll have to wait for Rosiedendron to make an appearance and find out if she's acquired a sense of humour yet.

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  44. Oooh, Oooh, Dear Mistress,

    *Hand shooting excitedly into the air and waving repeatedly*

    I know the answer to the Question posed to Miss Smuggersham!

    "Big Socks!"

    Luv Princess XXX

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  45. LEODMAEG: Well if it's anything like the superglue incident then this time I am forearmed. But if you want to go ski jumping then be my guest, but don't come crying to me when it all goes horrifyingly wrong, lol.
    I guess now I'll have to wait for Rosiedendron to make an appearance and find out if she's acquired a sense of humour yet.


    You have four arms?

    With tentacles?

    PRINCESS: Oooh, Oooh, Dear Mistress,
    *Hand shooting excitedly into the air and waving repeatedly*
    I know the answer to the Question posed to Miss Smuggersham!
    "Big Socks!"
    Luv Princess XXX


    That will be enough, Princess.

    Please take your seat and fold your hands neatly in front of you.

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  46. I know it feels that way sometimes but no I don't have four arms. However I do have large tentacles.

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  47. Dear Mistress,

    Princess would just like it known that she was dared into responding by Miss Julia! She said it first.

    *re takes seat and places hands neatly folded as requested*

    ReplyDelete
  48. Shoe # 1 cos I like a bit of Ska.
    Shoe # 4 cos it reminded me of the costumes in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

    ReplyDelete
  49. LEODMAEG: I know it feels that way sometimes but no I don't have four arms. However I do have large tentacles.

    Oh my!

    PRINCESS: Dear Mistress,
    Princess would just like it known that she was dared into responding by Miss Julia! She said it first.
    *re takes seat and places hands neatly folded as requested*


    Not another peep or you’ll stay after class.

    ISTVANSKI: Shoe # 1 cos I like a bit of Ska.
    Shoe # 4 cos it reminded me of the costumes in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.


    The instructions clearly state, “you must choose only one pair.”

    Mistress MJ is now firmly convinced that you lot only come here for the pictures and don’t read the text.

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  50. Yeah, I wasn't exactly following the rules, was I?
    Now...what was you saying again? I was too busy looking at those strange shoes...

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  51. ISTVANSKI: Yeah, I wasn't exactly following the rules, was I?
    Now...what was you saying again? I was too busy looking at those strange shoes...


    You’re not too big to put across Mistress MJ’s knee.

    ReplyDelete