I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.
-- Dorothy Parker
Congratulations, Kaz! I won’t say why in case one or your old aunties is reading this blog. But I knew you could do it. I knew you could say it. Especially since I found out that you table danced in a seedy underground nightclub in Belgium.
Everyone…this round’s on me in honour of our Kaz.
To Kaz!
Yay -
ReplyDeleteand first as well.
Next time I'll be lap dancing.
Mine's a stiff one.
Oh she's such a drama queen, that one!
ReplyDeleteI've heard, from a reliable authority, that she calls the dog a cunt all the time.
I've heard, from a reliable authority, that she's being headhunted by Obsessions Gentlemens Club in Manchester.
ReplyDeleteI've heard, from a reliable authority, that she already works there part-time.
ReplyDeleteI've heard, from a reliable authority, that her school teacher act on stage is second to none.
ReplyDeleteAll true and don't forget the foot fetishists.
ReplyDeleteKAZ: Oh? Go on. We're listening.
ReplyDeleteI've heard, from a reliable authority, that she said The Word, hence my quick visit in between 'working'.
ReplyDeleteYay!
Are we doing body shots? and on whom?
ReplyDelete*grabs lime and salt in anticipation*
IVD: Working?
ReplyDeleteIs the fleet in?
Are you "working" the docks today?
YNF: On Kaz.
It's all about Kaz today.
She's done the docks too.
ReplyDeleteI've seen the pics of her all legs akimbo and full of seamen.
PIGGY: Legs akimbo? Down at the docks? Like IVD?
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of little green fairies, I've heard, from a reliable authority, that Kaz and IVD are performing under the names Heidi and Peter as a striptease duo.
I've heard, from realiable authority, that I am a bitch .. oh wait, this is about Kaz, not me.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to say that I haven't had the chance to hear from anyone anything about Kaz.. carry on, I am learning so much about Kaz.. all from reliable authorities at that.. Bravo!
Nice One KAZ!
ReplyDeleteCrikey, Kaz- I mean 'Heidi'! Your enormous knockers nearly knocked me for six!
ReplyDeleteAnd as for my 'work', lets just say that I've been VERY busy and have come away a little moist...
"Knocked me for six" The only other time I've heard that is on Queen's "Body Language".
ReplyDeleteWhat exactly does that mean? Is it like a boxing thing, down for a six (of ten) count?
Oh, wait...Kaz, kaz, kaz, I heard from the most UNreliable of sources that Kaz was once a novice nun, but kept a wonderbunny under her habit and was once found snogging the choir leader in the confessional.
(too much?)
Are you sure she wasn't keeping a couple of choirboys in her bra too, Rimshot?
ReplyDeleteAs for "knocked for six" - It's a cricket term. When the batsman hits the ball a long way, basically.
TONY: That’s our Kaz!
ReplyDeleteIVD: How do you know so much about cricket?
Are you batting for a team?
RIMSHOT: Kaz a novice nun?
Only in dress-up sessions, I’m sure.
You'd be surprised what I know about men hitting their balls with long, hard wood - en bats.
ReplyDeleteIVD: Oh I'm NOT surprised at all.
ReplyDeleteMe neither.
ReplyDeletemommy, I'm scared.
ReplyDeleteYou are all lovely cunts (in a Piggy and Tazzy sort of way).
ReplyDeleteNow I've started there'll be no stopping me.
I just love all the attention and free drinks.
That last drink you had was piss.
ReplyDeleteOld Knudsy's.
Here's to Kaz *raises his mimosa*
ReplyDeletePIGGY: I just said that.
ReplyDeleteRIMSHOT: Please indicate which of us you'd like sent round to comfort you.
KAZ: What Mancunian She-Devil have we unleashed?
PIGGY: His nappies need changing.
See? I didn't say "diapers" this time.
CYBERTWINK: I'm sure your mimosa's the only thing you can get up.
A toasted MJ sounds even better.
ReplyDelete*waves Jameson bottle at Kaz*
SID: Care for some of IVD's Boy Butter on your toast?
ReplyDeleteI can get plenty up MJ
ReplyDeletebut let's concentrate on Kaz as it's her moment of glory
well...yay! yay for kaz!
ReplyDelete*so confused*
but....yay!
CYBERPOOFTER: I don't want plenty UP ME of whatever it is you're offering, thank you very much.
ReplyDeleteFN: I'll say this quietly and discreetly so Kaz's old aunties don't catch wind of it...
Kaz said the "C" word on my blog yesterday in the comments. For the first time ever!
I feel so proud, I'm getting all choked up.
I forgot a comma, I wasn't trying to get anything up you
ReplyDeleteew
*pukes*