Gardening, yoga, bubble baths, medication … and I still want to smack somebody!
Yet I’ll make every attempt today to be a better person.
So I’m giving away free hugs to anyone who wants one.
*Offer good for one day only*
*Apply only to affected area*
*Do not exceed recommended dosage*
*Sanitized for your protection*
Hell, since they are free I'll take two.. one for the old man since he thinks I don't hug enough.. fucking pussy! bleh
ReplyDeleteApply only to infected area?
ReplyDeleteMy child,
I am so proud of you for trying to create something positive out of all this filth, and make the most out of a bad situation.
Score Goals, Not Drugs!
((gasp))
Wait a minute..the Bongs have finally got to you haven't they?
Here in Killamory we grab arses while we hug and rub our chests together, I'll take a hug unless First nations has a better offer.
ReplyDeleteHang on. Let me take the Elf Shorts off first. I don't the hug friction to cause them to catch alight!
ReplyDelete*dons biohazard suit*
ReplyDeleteOh, go on then.
*Writes final will and testament*
ReplyDeleteReady when you are.
KRISSTEEN: Two hugs? Please note that I stipulated “free hugs to anyone who wants ONE.”
ReplyDeleteHE: I’m sure you mean The Mongs but the Bongs have got me *cough* *cough* good *cough* too.
KNUDSEN: Let’s wait to see if FN throws herself at you as I predict she will. The tramp.
IVD: Could you repeat that in English this time?
PIGGY: I’ll have to lift up your muffin top first.
SID: Getting my arms around you is like trying to encircle the globe!
I shall send Britney Spears over immediately; smack her or sanitize her--you'll be doing her (and the world) a huge favor.
ReplyDeleteWell fuck, now what the hell am I supposed to tell my man? He was up all fucking night waiting for you to hug him but no you never showed so that in turn left me in a quite ackward situation as he had a raging hard on so I felt obligated to fuck him since you could not endulge him in one little stinking hug.. I did't want both hugs for mysel ffs.
ReplyDelete*did'nt not did't
ReplyDeleteI do know English, or at least all the bad words :)
Oh and yanno, since it was my very first time that I ever got to be first in line on your comment poll I think I fucking deserve two hugs since I made it here before those twats Piggy & Tazzy.
ReplyDeleteDo they just sit there and wait for people to post and jump on the band wagon the moment they get the chance to be first in line? Cuz if so, I think I could use them every now and again.
oh crap, gimme a hug.
ReplyDelete*trots off looking all beatific*
*cracks knudson a smart one across the kidneys*
faster, jade! faster! this sulkey won't pull itself and neither will you until we've passed that BMW! onward, ho!
YNF: I’ll have no BS on this blog, thank you.
ReplyDeleteKRISSTEEN: If I give you 2 hugs, I’ll have to give 2 to everybody.
I’m not Mother Teresa, you know.
FN: You’ve made Knudsen pee himself!
Oh I think I'll just keep adding comments so I can see my new avatar.
ReplyDeleteFun!
When I first read that I thought you said you were giving away free drugs and I got all excited. Dammit! Oh well, a hug is nice too. I guess.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I see your new avatar I think of that ZZ Top song..."she got the legs, and she knows how to use them...
I'll take a hug and a wee dram of Jameson's - but Pru had it right - free drugs would be good too...
ReplyDeleteaw hell, he always smells like that. go on, mj...give my horsie a hug!
ReplyDeleteBIIIIIIG hugs for horsie!
MMMMM! smelly horsie!
*steals free drugs*
All this niceness is making me nervous
ReplyDeletewho are you and what have you done to our MJ?
PRU: Free drugs?
ReplyDeleteYou Americans are trying to take our water and now you want in on our health care system?
Sings along with Pru and ZZ Top..."Oh, I want her, I got to have her, the girl is alright, she's alright."
NWT: Did I say I was dispensing liquor along with the hugs?
How presumptuous!
You’re welcome to a dram if SID’s not drained the bottle yet.
FN: Another Yank after our goods.
Yeah you hear about how great we have it up here with our prescription drug plans and all but what they don’t tell you is that people DIE waiting in line for surgery. Unless you’re a government official. Or a celebrity. Oh wait. We don’t have celebrities up here.
Oh hell, if it’s free drugs you’re after, let’s just take a road trip out into the desert and pop peyote buttons, shall we?
CYBERTWAT: Come here little boy.
ReplyDeleteMama wants to give you a big hug.
Rita is that you?
ReplyDeleteI thought Krystle had gotten rid of you
'want'. It was supposed to be "I don't want the hug friction to cause them to catch alight!
ReplyDeleteDuuuhhhh...
Pfftt. selfish old bitty aren't ya?
ReplyDeleteIt's not like I wanted both for myself, I was gonna pay it forward but whatever...
*mumbles - who puts stupid fucking rules on hugs? pffttt*
And also, after all the devotionals you have attended lately I honestly did confuse you with Mother Teresa
I'd like one hug, please.
ReplyDeleteThe serendipity of the proffered hug is overwhelming.
I thank you, in advance.
CYBERALEXIS: If I wasn’t so full of the milk of human kindness today I’d rip out your shoulder pads.
ReplyDeleteIVD: All is forgiven as you’ve FINALLY posted the compo!
KRISSTEEN: I’m often confused with Lady Di as well.
RIMSHOT: Welcome to Infomaniac.
Ba-dum-CHING!
One hug proffered.
MJ you must be on drugs if you're giving out free hugs. What's wrong with you woman you don't know where half these people have been. Or do you?
ReplyDeleteJust pure filth you slut.
As you guessed the last comment was from me.
ReplyDeleteTATAS: Oooooo...look who's figured out how to post comments using her name.
ReplyDeleteYou're right up there in techno ability with IVD and me.