Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Become A Witch!

I’ve sent away for this lesson plan on becoming a witch from The Academy of Mystic Arts…


(click to enlarge)

You see, there’s an opening for new Coven members over at Inexplicable DeVice’s place.

The competition is fierce.

Some of the names I’m up against that you’ll recognize are our very own CyberPete, Beast, Eroswings, Tazzy & Piggy, and Princess.

I feel I have the edge as this lesson plan promises I’ll “Learn the secrets formerly reserved for Coven Initiates easily, quickly…within the privacy of your own home.

IVD (Inexplicable DeVice) will unveil the new Coven lineup on the 9th of October.

In the meantime, why do you think Mistress MJ would make an ideal Coven member?

25 comments:

  1. because she looks good bobbing in a bubbling cauldron?

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  2. NORMADESMOND: because she looks good bobbing in a bubbling cauldron?

    Keep in mind, Miss Desmond, that Mistress MJ will be learning powerful spells and hexes.

    *narrows eyes as she has been taught to do by IVD himself*

    XL: You could prepare cake to lure in unsuspecting children!

    I clicked your link only to discover Celine Dion engaged in some sort of Hansel and Gretel-esque ritual.

    Of course IVD does have an “Apocalypse Oven” suitable for cake baking.

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  3. Every witch must have a kitty
    Nestled at their ample titty.
    Double Double toil and trouble
    Mistress MJ's magic bubbles.

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  4. Ohhh. Can you make someone puke up cherries like in The Witches of Eastwick? My stomach gets a little queasy at the thought.

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  5. Well, I'm glad to see someone's taking some initiative around here. Although, I'm not sure where this ad gets its info from? Mostly, witchcraft is meddling and eye narrowing (which you're doing REALLY well at, I must say!). Keep it up, though.

    Oh, there are three places available, by the way.

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  6. As Official Infomaniac Pillow Fluffer, Personal IT Consultant To Mistress MJ, and Flying Monkey, I fully endorse MJ in her quest to become a member of the Coven.

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  7. I've got a broom handle for ya !

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  8. We Cum a Bitch.

    Sounds good to me.

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  9. MISS JANEY: Every witch must have a kitty
    Nestled at their ample titty.
    Double Double toil and trouble
    Mistress MJ's magic bubbles.


    Mistress MJ would like to thank you for not rhyming witch with bitch.

    HAYWARD: Ohhh. Can you make someone puke up cherries like in The Witches of Eastwick? My stomach gets a little queasy at the thought.

    I made Beast projectile fart a banana across the room.

    Does that count?

    IVD: Well, I'm glad to see someone's taking some initiative around here. Although, I'm not sure where this ad gets its info from? Mostly, witchcraft is meddling and eye narrowing (which you're doing REALLY well at, I must say!). Keep it up, though.
    Oh, there are three places available, by the way.


    Do Tazzy & Piggy count as one place or two?

    They excel at meddling (and diddling) but with Piggy in hospital my chances increase.

    Do you suppose he really has pneumonia or is this another cry for attention?

    XL: As Official Infomaniac Pillow Fluffer, Personal IT Consultant To Mistress MJ, and Flying Monkey, I fully endorse MJ in her quest to become a member of the Coven.

    Your list of qualifications is growing in leaps and bounds.

    We’ll need to get new business cards made up for you.

    HEFF: I've got a broom handle for ya !

    Then attach it to a broom and sweep my floor, beyotch!

    NORMADESMOND: okay endora, hex away!

    As I have not yet received my lesson plan nor official endorsement from Coven leader Inexplicable DeVice, I am not yet authorized to cast hexes.

    I’m up for a bit of meddling though.

    KAPI: We Cum a Bitch.
    Sounds good to me.


    Now say it in Esperanto.

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  10. Well you all ready have the stripy tights for it.

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  11. AYEM8Y: Well you all ready have the stripy tights for it.

    Bonus points should be awarded just for that.

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  12. Wait, did you say "witch?' I thought you were going for something else, something that sounded like that, but now I can't think of what it was. Well, it'll come to me.

    Good luck sweetie, I'm sure you'll do swell.

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  13. PEENEE: Wait, did you say "witch?' I thought you were going for something else, something that sounded like that, but now I can't think of what it was. Well, it'll come to me.
    Good luck sweetie, I'm sure you'll do swell.


    Swell…or something that sounds like that.

    CYBERPOOF: I'm better than you though!

    Don’t get cocky.

    Judgment Day awaits.

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  14. I want to be Evil just like Miss Kitt "..and in the theatre I want to change my seat just so I can step on everybody's feet" Grrrrrrrrrr Grrrrrrrrrr. I'll probably end up like Grotbags with Croc and Redford and my two effeminate minions if I carry on eating scones.

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  15. MITZI: I want to be Evil just like Miss Kitt "..and in the theatre I want to change my seat just so I can step on everybody's feet" Grrrrrrrrrr Grrrrrrrrrr. I'll probably end up like Grotbags with Croc and Redford and my two effeminate minions if I carry on eating scones.

    Mistress MJ is familiar with your Basil Brush, The Wombles, Blue Peter, Postman Pat and even Andy Pandy but Grotbags has opened her eyes to yet another window onto UK children’s programming.

    No wonder you’re all the way you are.

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  16. Catweazle. He should know about witches.

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  17. MAGO: Catweazle. He should know about witches.

    Is he related to Old Knudsen?

    We never got that series here in The Colonies.

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  18. In the meantime, why do you think Mistress MJ would make an ideal Coven member?

    Because you're magical!

    And you're no stranger to fairies!

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  19. EROS: In the meantime, why do you think Mistress MJ would make an ideal Coven member?

    Because you're magical!
    And you're no stranger to fairies!


    Just for that compliment, Mistress MJ will sprinkle you liberally with faerie dust.

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  20. Sweetheart, it'll be a walkover.

    Ps. I love cock

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  21. KAPI: We Cum a Bitch.
    Sounds good to me.

    Now say it in Esperanto.


    Ni churas hundinacho.

    Sonas bone al me.

    Heh.

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  22. CYBERPOOF: Sweetheart, it'll be a walkover.
    Ps. I love cock


    Honk if you love cock.

    KAPI: KAPI: We Cum a Bitch.
    Sounds good to me.

    Now say it in Esperanto.

    Ni churas hundinacho.
    Sonas bone al me.
    Heh.


    You could be ordering a plate of nachos for all I know but it sure sounds impressive.

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