Hours passed with no one paying any particular attention to our whereabouts until Princess (pictured below) exclaimed, “We’re lost!”
[via]
Someone (Beast) had forgotten to pack the GPS device and we’d ended up somewhere called Puddiphatts.
The Durdle Door (which Mistress MJ longed to see) cannot be seen on the horizon so obviously we’ve strayed well off course.
Does anyone know anything at all about this Puddiphatts? Is it even on the map? Do they at least have a spot for a lovely cream tea so that we might collect our thoughts and regroup?
Tell us what you know of this mysterious dot on the landscape.
Little Twatfiddler in Kent is lovely, as is Little Snoring Arseface in Somerset.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you could write a Guidebook.
If by 'mysterious dot' you mean 'gaping chasm in the hedge', I really don't think I want to know. Perhaps more trannies live there?
ReplyDeleteP.S. Princess? Suedette Pixie boots shouldn't be worn in damp grass - the fine finish will be ruined within minutes!
P.P.S. There's a Little Snoring in Norfolk not far from Norwich.
ReplyDeletenever been there, but if you go straight down, you'll get out.
ReplyDeleteI taught I thaw a Puddiphatts. I did! I did!
ReplyDeleteGARFER: Little Twatfiddler in Kent is lovely, as is Little Snoring Arseface in Somerset.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you could write a Guidebook.
Would you give us a guided tour of the Tunnocks Teacakes factory in Uddingston?
IVD: If by 'mysterious dot' you mean 'gaping chasm in the hedge', I really don't think I want to know. Perhaps more trannies live there?
P.S. Princess? Suedette Pixie boots shouldn't be worn in damp grass - the fine finish will be ruined within minutes!
You’re the authority on gaping chasms.
IVD: P.P.S. There's a Little Snoring in Norfolk not far from Norwich.
It’s the sound coming from your bedroom.
NORMADESMOND: never been there, but if you go straight down, you'll get out.
By way of China?
XL: I taught I thaw a Puddiphatts. I did! I did!
A good speech therapist could help you with that.
I can't believe we're lost already. I was munching a scone (NOT one of Beasts) staring out the window and suddenly Princess is getting her boots damp. Not only that, the damp has made her hair all frizzy again.
ReplyDeleteAargh!!!
*reaches into the cooler and gets a bottle of cider*
Thankyou for stopping at the sign for Puddiphatts... I was hankering for some meat pudding after all that jam and cream at the last stop...
ReplyDeleteMy encounter with the rotund little butcher was most enjoyable...
And Mr DeVice... thank you for your concern but I was hopong that a walk in the wet grass might disguise a little misshap i had whilst squatting in the bushes...
ROSES: I can't believe we're lost already. I was munching a scone (NOT one of Beasts) staring out the window and suddenly Princess is getting her boots damp. Not only that, the damp has made her hair all frizzy again.
ReplyDeleteAargh!!!
*reaches into the cooler and gets a bottle of cider*
We regret to inform you that that scone had Beast’s fingerprints all over it.
PRINCESS: Thankyou for stopping at the sign for Puddiphatts... I was hankering for some meat pudding after all that jam and cream at the last stop...
My encounter with the rotund little butcher was most enjoyable...
And Mr DeVice... thank you for your concern but I was hopong that a walk in the wet grass might disguise a little misshap i had whilst squatting in the bushes...
Thank you for the link! For those bitches too lazy to click it, this is a summary …
“This interesting and unusual name is of early medieval English origin and is a nickname surname for either a butcher who specialised in puddings or a stout (barrel shaped) person. The derivation is from the Germanic "Pud(d)", to swell or bulge, which is found in pudding and the Olde English pre 7th Century "faet", vessel or vat.”
So we’re in the right place if we fancy either a nice pudding or a fat bloke?
How cunning of Princess to flag down the locals to give us directions and assistance!
ReplyDeletedown as in down on your quaint eliza doolittle stand-in.
ReplyDeletePrincess you bare a striking resemblance to Dusty Springfield. I've never had the pleasure of visiting Puddiphatts but I have been to Rimswell and Wetwang.
ReplyDeleteAfter a lovely dinner with copious amounts of wine and Möet, I couldn't tell Puddi from Phatts.
ReplyDeleteIs it some kind of country band?
EROS: How cunning of Princess to flag down the locals to give us directions and assistance!
ReplyDeleteUnlike your average man, she’s not afraid to ask for directions.
NORMADESMOND: down as in down on your quaint eliza doolittle stand-in.
Well then!
MITZI: Princess you bare a striking resemblance to Dusty Springfield. I've never had the pleasure of visiting Puddiphatts but I have been to Rimswell and Wetwang.
Have you been to Penistone?
CYBERPOOF: After a lovely dinner with copious amounts of wine and Möet, I couldn't tell Puddi from Phatts.
Is it some kind of country band?
Puddi and Phatts…like Flatt and Scruggs?
I don’t hear the sound of banjo picking.
I've seen signs to Penistone when I've been out and about. Carmen tells me it's pronounced Penn iston I prefer Penis stone.
ReplyDeleteMITZI: I've seen signs to Penistone when I've been out and about. Carmen tells me it's pronounced Penn iston I prefer Penis stone.
ReplyDeleteThat Carmen can be such a prude.