What’s the cheapest, tartiest outfit you’ve ever thrown together?
What overall look or item of clothing made you like a hoochie mama or pimp?
IVD, if you're reading this, don't bother commenting as we've all seen your skankiest outfit...
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1st!
ReplyDeleteI only wear very classy outfits.
ReplyDeleteSorry.
Oh by the way. First and second! In your face bitches!
You'll have to consult my Saville Row tailor. As a purveyor of garments of a subtle and elegant nature I doubt that he does tarty.
ReplyDeleteBlimey, IVD has got a good pair of legs...
ReplyDeleteSx
I have only one tarty garment - a wonderful retro (faux) leopard skin coat.
ReplyDeleteWhen wearing it I do not look like Bet Lynch or Liz McDonald.
CYBERPOOF: I only wear very classy outfits.
ReplyDeleteSorry.
Oh by the way. First and second! In your face bitches!
Yes, who can forget your classy sparkly pantyliner?
GARFY: You'll have to consult my Saville Row tailor. As a purveyor of garments of a subtle and elegant nature I doubt that he does tarty.
*pulls loose thread on Garfer’s hem and unravels poncey trousers*
SCARLET: Blimey, IVD has got a good pair of legs...
His legs make up for his horrible skin condition (scroll down after clicking on link to see pics).
KAZ: I have only one tarty garment - a wonderful retro (faux) leopard skin coat.
When wearing it I do not look like Bet Lynch or Liz McDonald.
I am beginning to think we were separated at birth.
First the Docs, now the retro faux leopard skin coat.
Actually, I have several leopard print items of apparel and am in danger of becoming Bet Lynch any day now.
*adjusts brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat*
I think I once blogged about it, but...my aunt's fabulous black cocktail dress from the '60s, hemmed by moi to within an inch of my rockin' teenage ass, fluorescent fishnets, and turquoise satin spike heels. Now that was tarty. Also '80s to the max. I'd never pull that off now, more's the pity.
ReplyDeleteLEAH: And shoulder pads?
ReplyDeleteI lived through the 80's. Everything worn during then was Hooker-esque thanks to Madonna.
ReplyDeleteI've burned all of the pictures and threaten anyone who may still be holding pictures of me with big hair and net stocking.
I had super bell-bottom pants ... and the de rigueur tye-die shirts.
ReplyDeleteBOXER: I lived through the 80's. Everything worn during then was Hooker-esque thanks to Madonna.
ReplyDeleteI've burned all of the pictures and threaten anyone who may still be holding pictures of me with big hair and net stocking.
Top it off with a big ass crucifix and you’re a top tart.
XL: I had super bell-bottom pants ... and the de rigueur tye-die shirts.
Your super hawtness is burning up this blog.
The women must have been flocking.
Only weemen and camp men can be tarts so I cannot answer this.
ReplyDeletePVC mini skirt, tartan of course.
***Peeps up Old Knudsens Skirt***
ReplyDeleteNo shoulder pads, ever, thank the good lord...
ReplyDeleteNothing but the best baby!
ReplyDeleteKNUDSEN: Only weemen and camp men can be tarts so I cannot answer this.
ReplyDeletePVC mini skirt, tartan of course.
You were the Town Tramp of Killamory.
BEAST: ***Peeps up Old Knudsens Skirt***
Watch out that it doesn’t spit at you.
It’s venomous!
LEAH: No shoulder pads, ever, thank the good lord...
Recently I bought a jacket that had shoulder pads in it and I had to rip them out as I’m already built like Joan Crawford.
A “swimmer’s build” I believe they call it.
CYBERPOOF: Nothing but the best baby!
All that glitters, eh?
Arrrghhh... that was gross... like he was growing brussel sprouts in his underpants..
ReplyDeleteSx
I had a sequined lycra mini skirt and stretching boob tube. The boob tube would go baggy and the stuffing would fall out.
ReplyDeleteSx
*sp - 'stretchy'
ReplyDeleteSx
I'm sort of a split personality - I don't often dress like a slag in public because it is tedious - draws alot of unwanted attention from cretins etc. I tend to keep my fishnet dresses and pvc slutwear for the boudoir.
ReplyDeleteSCARLET: Arrrghhh... that was gross... like he was growing brussel sprouts in his underpants..
ReplyDeleteAre you referring to IVD or to CyberPoof?
I had a sequined lycra mini skirt and stretching boob tube. The boob tube would go baggy and the stuffing would fall out.
And by “stuffing” you mean?
EMMA: I'm sort of a split personality - I don't often dress like a slag in public because it is tedious - draws alot of unwanted attention from cretins etc. I tend to keep my fishnet dresses and pvc slutwear for the boudoir.
I know that you covet my Stevie Nicks diaphanous lingerie.
*spins offstage singing Rhiannon*
Absolutely. Shiny and glittery stuff is the BEST!
ReplyDelete*sneaks in, sniffs about, pees in planter and leaves via the back door*
ReplyDeleteI bought a cheap black dress for a night out at the House of Blues in Atlantic City, NJ. It displayed my decolletage like peaches on a platter. I paired it with a pair of black pleather fuck-me ankle-strap pumps and heavy makeup. Definitely tarty.
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: Absolutely. Shiny and glittery stuff is the BEST!
ReplyDeleteSparkle plenty.
VOICES: *sneaks in, sniffs about, pees in planter and leaves via the back door*
For the last time…
Stay away from my back door.
PEEVISH: I bought a cheap black dress for a night out at the House of Blues in Atlantic City, NJ. It displayed my decolletage like peaches on a platter. I paired it with a pair of black pleather fuck-me ankle-strap pumps and heavy makeup. Definitely tarty.
Tart.
I didn’t think anyone could top IVD.
Uh...weren't you going to stop blogging for a while? Or did your flock simply reject that notion?
ReplyDeleteOr did you?
WW: Giving up blogging is so last month.
ReplyDeleteTry to keep up, would you?
I love that old picture of Nigella!
ReplyDelete*sigh
Many years ago, I lived in the big city near the questionable part of town. It was laundry day, and the only clean clothes I had were a shrunken white T (that clearly showed my nipples) and an old pair of tight jeans full of holes (two large slits right underneath my seat).
ReplyDeleteI was walking to the store to get some laundry detergent, when a cop car pulled over, mistaking me for a street whore.
DONN:I love that old picture of Nigella!
ReplyDelete*sigh
Why do you think they call it “food porn”?
EROS: Many years ago, I lived in the big city near the questionable part of town. It was laundry day, and the only clean clothes I had were a shrunken white T (that clearly showed my nipples) and an old pair of tight jeans full of holes (two large slits right underneath my seat).
I was walking to the store to get some laundry detergent, when a cop car pulled over, mistaking me for a street whore.
Manwhore!
* slips of jacket and skips after Street-Whore Eros *
ReplyDeleteSlips off jacket. Off.
ReplyDeleteIVD: If you're going to slip something OFF, you'd better slip something else ON!
ReplyDeleteYou don't know where he's been.