National Coming Out Day

Smunty gets into the spirit of National Coming Out Day



Smunty (aka Steve) has been struggling for years to come out of the closet. Will he? Or won’t he? Lately he’s been trying to convince us to call him “Viking Steve” in one last desperate grasp to maintain his testosterone-fueled breeder aura.

Observe his ongoing struggle…




“Someone, anyone. Take me.” Smunty wants bumsex and he wants it bad. He may have to make do with that bottle of beer at his elbow





Smunty sandwich. Smunty pictured (centre) between Piggy and Tazzy





Tazzy raises his leg to obscure Smunty’s raging hard-on caused by being in the presence of such delectable poofters





“Deflower me, Piggy!”





Smunty pouting because he can’t get any man-on-man action





“Where can I stick this thing?” Smunty asks no one in particular, surveying the landscape for clues…




‘Til he spots a willing sex partner on the horizon!…




Desperate in Dorset. Smunty going down on Portland Bill in lieu of a real cock.





“Carly who?” asks Steve.
If only Smunty’s long-suffering wife Carly had cut her fringe, she may have been able to see what was coming …





Smunty appears (far left) in a gay porno. The shame.





So there you have it, folks. Leave your words of encouragement here for Smunty and let’s hope he comes out of the closet on this, National Coming Out Day.


Note: Whatever you do, do NOT call him Viking Steve.

Tazzy and Piggy Do Hawaii

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!

Office Toys

Cubicle warfare! Based on the Warwolf from the 13th century, this mighty Trebuchet, when completed, is 26” long x 18” wide x 9” tall — it is capable of hurling a ball of soft modeling clay over 20 feet! In lieu of modeling clay, what would YOU put in it?




Everyone needs a break from their busy day at the office. So let’s have a look at a few time-wasting “productivity/creativity-boosting” workplace toys.

Here, for example, is a typical toy one might find on the desk of a stressed-out office employee…





Squeeze the base of the Popping Martian and his eyes, nose and ears pop out!

I have a similar squeeze toy called the Popping SID. Squeeze the base and a wee willie pops up. Good for about 30 seconds of fun. One minute if I’m lucky.



Now let’s have a look at some of the toys we might find on the desks of our very own Infomaniac readers.



Here’s an amusing little item you’ll find on Tazzy and Piggy’s desk. In fact, this toy was modeled on them!




Speeding Grandads!


Watch as OAP’s Tazzy and Piggy speed by on their way to Tesco’s to stock up on pork scratchings. Oink!




SID is none too pleased about having to purchase a magnetic cross trainer to work off his fat arse and bulging belly.


But while he’s at work, his USB Rat Race desk toy does all the work for him!…





Simply plug the USB Rat Race into a USB port, and as you type he pedals away. The faster you type, the faster he pedals. Not only does this rodent do all your exercise for you, but he also keeps count of how many words you've typed, and displays them on a little LCD screen.





It’s no surprise that IVD has a Staples Easy Button on his desk, is it?…




Reliable sources tell me he has an Easy Button on his bedside table as well.





Our resident Dane, CyberPete, can often be found clock-watching at work so he’s installed a Lifetimer on his desk…





The Lifetimer counts the days until your next holiday, lunch hour, home time, and the weekend.

The Lifetimer also times how long it has been since you started your job or last had sex.





England’s fave postie, Smunty, is usually on his feet traveling door-to-door to deliver the mail. But in those rare times when he can put his feet up, you’ll find a talking Postman Pat on his desk…




C’mon into the back of my van, fellas!




Smunty has carried the Postman Pat theme home with him and into his bedroom…








Now over to you, Infomaniac readers. Do you have a favourite desk toy? Tell us about it.




And on a related topic, be sure to visit Tazzy and Piggy as they invite you to post a pic of your desk in Desktop Time!

Thanksgiving Day

It's Thanksgiving Day here in Canuckistan so I'll be away for most of the day.

For which you can be thankful.

But while we're on the topic...

I'm thankful for your friendship and for all the laffs you lot have given me both here in the comments and on your own blogs.

Now don't make me get all emotional. This isn't Oprah for fuck's sake.

A Peek in MJ’s Drawers

HOW YOUR LEGS REVEAL YOUR PERSONALITY


What are MJ’s legs saying to you?



A Peek in MJ’s Drawers is a series on Infomaniac in which, from time to time, we examine the contents of MJ’s file cabinet drawers.

Today I’ve unearthed this newspaper clip that will help us determine the telltale signals we send with our legs.





(Click to enlarge)



Are your legs represented in the article? Or do you have a different style altogether?



Now let’s examine one of our fellow Infomaniac readers, shall we?




What can we learn from Piggy’s legs?



Wait! There's more!...





Piggy’s legs: The full reveal. What are they trying to tell us?

A Crabby Bitch

Incriminating Pic of the Week

Recently, a group of Infomaniac readers got together for a conference and emailed this pic to me.

Unfortunately, they didn’t identify who’s who nor did they say what kind of conference it was.

Any ideas?



(clicks will enlarge pricks)

Swear If You Dare

Sometimes somebody or something makes you so *#&!-angry you want to curse out loud. But under the circumstances you just can’t do it. Either because it’s unprofessional (you’re mad at your boss/colleague) or you’ll regret it instantly (swearing at traffic cop = ticket.)

So whatcha gonna do?

Come to Infomaniac to blow off a little steam, that’s what.

Tell us your favourite curse word.

Then work that curse word into a rant against whomever/whatever is grating on your last good nerve.






What are you *#&!-ing waiting for?


Disclaimer: Discontinue cursing and ranting on this blog if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, profuse sweating, or heart palpitations.

Word Association Wednesday

Today is Word Association Wednesday on Infomaniac.

Whoever arrives first at this posting will leave a word…any word…in the comments box.

The second person will type in the first word that comes to mind based on the previous word.

And so on.

Go!

Liquid Jolliness

It’s Customer Appreciation Day here on Infomaniac and in thanks for your readership I offer you Liquid Jolliness…





Help yourself to a Disgruntled Elf, won’t you?

Moose Knuckle

Cameltoe. It’s not just for women anymore.

Behold: Male camel toe also known as “moose knuckle”…












Photo via Convict





Elvis impersonator moose knuckle




Canuck camel toe





Spock moose knuckle





Smunty the Cabin Boy camel toe

Book Title of the Day

The Sheriff of Dyke Hole

Happy Birthday, CyberPete!

He comes from a land of Tuborg and kippers
His shoes are sparkly ruby slippers
He’s charming and funny and oh so gay
Wish CyberPoof a happy birthday!

Have A Nice Weekend

Caption This!

Happy Birthday, Frobi!

Frobi, if you’re reading this from sunny Spain as you convalesce from mole removal, I’ve a little pressie for you.

Ben Cohen’s knickers!…

Give Them A Hand!

The Latest Winner of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts

Inexplicable DeVice (IVD) has finally wrapped up The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition.


The winner of the latest Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition is Eroswings (formerly known as YNF…and now, thanks to SID, Eroswings is also known as EuroSwinger) for this poetic caption…





IDV thighs,
IDV thighs,
Every morning you greet me.
Long and White,
Smooth and Bright,
You look horny to meet me.

Blossom among Hoes
May you Bloom and Glow
Bloom and Glow forever

IDV thighs
IDV thighs
Be STD free forever


Now, of course, being the nosey buggers that we are, we want to know all about you, EuroSwinger. Where do you live? What city? What country? We need to know where The Shorts are headed to next. And if they’re going to a good home. Besides, I need the info to update The Definitive History of the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts.

AND … all new male readers MUST email me a pic of their bare arse. (Click here to see other Infomaniac readers’ bare arses.) Snap to it, EuroSwinger.

Read all about the grueling final selection for a Shorts winner here on IVD’s blog.

Congratulations, Eroswings EuroSwinger! Wear The Shorts proudly!