Friday, March 24, 2017

Fashion Crime at McDonald's

Gevondis Demond Joseph, 29, of Port Arthur, Texas was charged with aggravated robbery of a McDonald's in Groves, Texas ... with a hairbrush.

The suspect walked into the McDonald's and demanded money, giving the employees the impression that he had a handgun in his pocket. It turned out to be a hairbrush.

Groves City Marshal Norman Reynolds, Jr. said, "He was in and out pretty quick. I don't think he got an Egg McMuffin or anything."

We here at Infomaniac hope that the supsect will also be charged for committing a fashion crime: wearing a leopard-print robe, orange gloves and ORANGE CROCS.

"I'm not sure if he was out late or up early. We don't really know why he was dressed like that," said Reynolds. "Maybe he thought he was going to Walmart and wanted to make the Top 20... what are they called? Walmartians?"

Unfortunately, we here at Infomaniac were not able to obtain a photo of the suspect's footwear. In their place, we present the equally offensive ORANGE CROCS of chef Mario Batali...

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Cheers to Eleven Years

The Mistress has been cranking out this blog for 11 years now...

We here at Infomaniac hope you've been enjoying yourselves as much as I have.

Here's to Infomaniac and to Infomaniac Bitches!

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Mr. DeVice - Birthday Boy

Happy birthday, Mr. DeVice!...

Do my eyes deceive me or is the young Mr. DeVice grasping a pair of fuzzy dice?

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Snow Pants

For those of you in milder climes who have never seen SNOW PANTS, behold...

Snow pants are bulky, insulated, waterproof, windproof trousers designed to keep you warm and dry when the temperature plummets. They're ideal if you engage in winter sports, live almost anywhere in Canada or spend a lot of time waiting for public transit on frigid days.

They usually have an elasticized waist, making it easy to slip them over your regular trousers.

Most snow pants have boot gaiters: an elasticized cuff on the inner bottom of the pants. On days with deep snowfall, these gaiters prevent the snow from filling up your boots.

Many folk would not be caught dead in snow pants after the age of FIVE but those of us who require an extra layer of warmth are willing to look ridiculous.

Only last week, I ventured out to the ravine for a walk when I sunk up to my hips in snow. Yes, that's how deep it was and thankfully, I was wearing my snow pants.

Rather embarrassingly, snow  pants make a swishing sound as you walk; the result of the fabric from one leg rubbing against the other leg. You cannot walk quietly in snow pants.

Go on and laugh at this fashion folly. The Mistress has restocked the "Banned" stickers and is ready to use them.

Note: We are aware that the British word for underpants is "pants" so extra "Banned" stickers have been ordered for anyone thinking, "oh how funny...The Mistress wears snow underpants!"

Monday, March 20, 2017

Somewhere, it is Spring

The first day of spring officially begins on Monday, March 20, 2017.

But not in Canada, it seems.

We hope it's much more springlike wherever you are, Bitches.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Happy Birthday, Damien!

On Wednesday, March 15...

We have CAKE...


for our very own Wonder Warrior, Damien...

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Testicle Tuesday in the Pink Room

It's been two years since we've visited the Pink Room. Let's pop in and see what's happening, shall we?...


Monday, March 13, 2017

Texas Hold'em

$100 fine for jerking off.


A Texas state lawmaker introduced Bill 4260 that would fine men who masturbated for committing “an act against an unborn child.”

The Man’s Right to Know Act would set a $100 fine for ‘emissions outside a woman’s vagina’ and require unnecessary medical tests. The bill would require men to wait 24 hours after an “initial health care consultation” to receive an elective vasectomy, colonoscopy or Viagra prescription.

Jessica Farrar, a Democratic representative from Houston, Texas filed the satirical bill to regulate “masturbatory emissions” as a riposte to a slew of anti-abortion measures advocated by the state’s Republican politicians.

Farrar said, “Although HB 4260 is satirical, there is nothing funny about current healthcare restrictions for women and the very real legislation that is proposed every legislative session. Women are not laughing at state-imposed regulations and obstacles that interfere with their ability to legally access safe healthcare, and subject them to fake science and medically unnecessary procedures. Texans deserve to be treated with the same amount of respect when making healthcare decisions, regardless of their gender.”

She goes on to say, “What I would like to see is this make people stop and think. Maybe my colleagues aren’t capable of that, but the people who voted for them, or the people that didn’t vote at all, I hope that it changes their mind and helps them to decide what the priorities are.”

More details here.

Thanks to Infomaniac Bitch Jon in London, England for the news alert.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

The Year So Far

2016 was a year of ups and downs. And sometimes upside downs...


Now that we're into the third month of 2017, we here at Infomaniac would like to know...

How's 2017 working out for you, Bitches?

Friday, March 10, 2017

Talking Trash

How The Mistress imagines herself taking out the trash...

Closer to the reality...

Filthy Friday - Albolene Edition

Albolene. Cleans AND moisturizes...


Thursday, March 09, 2017

Aidan Turner Celebrates Miss Scarlet

Aidan: I'm on a fag break. Why are you bothering me, Mistress?...

The Mistress: It's Miss Scarlet's birthday.

Aidan: Why didn't you say so? Let me just saddle up (and make a quick costume change) and I'll be right there!...

Aidan: Hello, Miss Scarlet. Is it me you're looking for?...

Aidan: Damn and blast. I'm absolutely spent...

Aidan: I hate to eat and run but I really must go, Miss Scarlet. Besides, it's time for another fag...

Aidan: Bitches, raise your glasses to our Miss Scarlet!...

The Mistress: Happy Birthday, Miss Scarlet!

For even more Miss Scarlet celebrations, visit Mr. Device.

Wednesday, March 08, 2017

International Women's Day

Tell us about a woman who influenced you in a positive way; be it a family member, friend or public figure.

Monday, March 06, 2017

How Will History Remember Your Lifetime?

Here's a little something to entertain and enlighten you.

The Atlantic magazine lets you explore your life in history.

Using their Time Lifeline, you enter the day, month and year of your birth.

Supposing you were born on January 1st, 1960. You've never lived in a world without Barbie dolls. At 9 years old, you were alive to behold people walking on the moon. Your life can be divided into two halves: before and after Shark Week. By the time you turn 70, humanity's water requirements will exceed its supplies by 40 percent.

Or suppose you were born just five years later on January 1st, 1965. You've never lived in a world without G.I. Joe action figures.  This is what Hollywood thought teenagers looked like the year you became one...

(Grease was released in 1978.) Your life can be divided into two halves: before and after websites. By the time you turn 60, the World Bank predicts that the U.S. dollar will lose its global dominance.

What's your life in history? Click here to find out.

Sunday, March 05, 2017

Public Service Announcement #34

Wash your hands after using the toilet...


This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Saturday, March 04, 2017

Public Service Announcement #33

Do you lick your fingers to flip the pages of books, magazines or newspapers?...


Stop it. Stop it, right NOW.

We do not want your germs.

Unless it's your own personal property and you don't plan on lending it to someone else, do NOT lick your fingers to turn the pages.

Same goes when you're at the office and handing out pages of a report to your colleagues. No finger licking to separate one page from another.

You work in retail and you're counting money into the customer's hand? No finger licking to separate the bills.

If you really need to get a grip, there are products on the market such as rubber finger tips...

Or finger cots...

The Mistress has spoken.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Friday, March 03, 2017

Razzle Dazzle 'Em

Raise your glasses, Bitches...

We're celebrating Jon's 10th anniversary of blogging.

Long live the Queen!