Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Snow Pants

For those of you in milder climes who have never seen SNOW PANTS, behold...


Snow pants are bulky, insulated, waterproof, windproof trousers designed to keep you warm and dry when the temperature plummets. They're ideal if you engage in winter sports, live almost anywhere in Canada or spend a lot of time waiting for public transit on frigid days.

They usually have an elasticized waist, making it easy to slip them over your regular trousers.

Most snow pants have boot gaiters: an elasticized cuff on the inner bottom of the pants. On days with deep snowfall, these gaiters prevent the snow from filling up your boots.

Many folk would not be caught dead in snow pants after the age of FIVE but those of us who require an extra layer of warmth are willing to look ridiculous.

Only last week, I ventured out to the ravine for a walk when I sunk up to my hips in snow. Yes, that's how deep it was and thankfully, I was wearing my snow pants.

Rather embarrassingly, snow  pants make a swishing sound as you walk; the result of the fabric from one leg rubbing against the other leg. You cannot walk quietly in snow pants.

Go on and laugh at this fashion folly. The Mistress has restocked the "Banned" stickers and is ready to use them.

Note: We are aware that the British word for underpants is "pants" so extra "Banned" stickers have been ordered for anyone thinking, "oh how funny...The Mistress wears snow underpants!"

27 comments:

  1. [GASP!] I was under the impression that The Mistress went "commando" in such situations.

    PS: I have similar uninsulated pants for sitting out in the rain watching high school football games.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. great minds think alike! COMMANDO was the first thing that came to mind!

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    2. LX & NORMA: So you’re both imagining my private bits?

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  2. you should see the butt ugly comforter with a zipper that i wear during the sub-zero days in minnesota.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait...that was a comforter? Here I thought it was one of your vintage avant-garde pieces.

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  3. I think I'll stick with the likes of Justin Trudeau's ass, I mean pants over there➡➡➡➡➡➡➡

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    Replies
    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: Voilà! Justin Trudeau wearing snow pants.

      Delete
  4. Darling! Laugh? Sneer? Me? One doesn't know whether to feel pity or contempt.

    I'm sure these look smashing with Crocs. they have that "look."

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  5. I guess that means one needs to use the bathroom before putting on all them clothes and pants. I fully support any item that protects the tender jewels from frostbite.

    Do they come in other colors and patterns? I want them bright and colorful enough to bring cheer on those dreary winter days. And I want them reflective enough to catch the attention of the rescue team in case I get stuck in the snow and need rescuing before the wolves and bears decide to make a snack out of me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EROS: Typically, a mother will ask, “Do you need to pee?” before helping a child into his/her snow pants. As soon as the snow pants are on, the child will say, “I have to pee.” Guaranteed.

      And here’s your colourful snow pants.

      Delete
  6. Not laughing. But I am wondering whether there might be a market for them in Scotland?

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    Replies
    1. DINAHMOW: I’d like to see Gerard Butler in snow pants.

      Or NO pants.

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    2. There's a market for them in Devon! I at least would like some Rain-Pants!
      Sx

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    3. MISS SCARLET: In a pinch, you could cut leg holes into a bin bag.

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  7. Sounds like you almost became your own future archaeology find Mistress. Knickerless in snow pants that would be enough to cause some serious sociological headscratching...

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  8. Replies
    1. JON: Ours are much bulkier and quite insulated.

      As for the Queen Mum photo, I’m sure she’s reaching into her pocket for her gin flask.

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  9. I'm all about comfort over fashion any day. I had them as a kid. We use to have real winters when I was a kid.

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    Replies
    1. JEFFERY: Comfort over fashion CAN be important unless you’re talking CROCS.

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    2. With my flat feet CROCS are not an option.

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  10. Um. Most flattering my Mistress.

    **keeps eyes to the floor whilst giving chaste kisses on both feet as is proper**

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DAMIEN: Your nose grew when you said that.

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