Gevondis Demond Joseph, 29, of Port Arthur, Texas was charged with aggravated robbery of a McDonald's in Groves, Texas ... with a hairbrush.
The suspect walked into the McDonald's and demanded money, giving the employees the impression that he had a handgun in his pocket. It turned out to be a hairbrush.
Groves City Marshal Norman Reynolds, Jr. said, "He was in and out pretty quick. I don't think he got an Egg McMuffin or anything."
We here at Infomaniac hope that the supsect will also be charged for committing a fashion crime: wearing a leopard-print robe, orange gloves and ORANGE CROCS.
"I'm not sure if he was out late or up early. We don't really know why he was dressed like that," said Reynolds. "Maybe he thought he was going to Walmart and wanted to make the Top 20... what are they called? Walmartians?"
Unfortunately, we here at Infomaniac were not able to obtain a photo of the suspect's footwear. In their place, we present the equally offensive ORANGE CROCS of chef Mario Batali...
nature.....it sure is interesting, huh?
ReplyDeleteNORMA: Nature, yes.
DeleteHuman nature, not so much.
It could have been worse — mullet!
ReplyDeletePS: The reason Janis Joplin could sing the blues so well was because she was from Port Arthur.
DeleteLX: Like Janis, this guy’s gonna have a case of the “Kozmic Blues.”
DeleteHaving been to both places before, I can understand the suspect's attempt to bring some color and flair to the area. It may not have been a total success, but I appreciate the effort to bring about a festive atmosphere. It's a shame he didn't at least get some fries; I doubt they make them quite as tasty in jail.
ReplyDeleteEROS: He could have ordered a “Happy Meal” containing a free Hot Wheels toy.
Delete"Gevondis". That's a lovely name. It suits someone wearing orange crocs and carrying a semi-automatic hairdryer. Interesting he has Psalms 23 tattooed on his neck - "he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake...surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life". Got that a bit wrong, methinks. Jx
ReplyDeletePS (Re: your latest "sidebar news flash") The world's fascination with dog's arses is a continued source of wonder. Very League of Gentlemen. Jx
DeleteJON: I Googled your “League of Gentlemen” reference to find out about “Dogs’ Arses Magazine.” Ha!
Delete