Sunday, June 09, 2013

Wash Your Sins Away Sunday

We have installed a portable baptistry at the Church of Infomaniac...


[via]

For baptismal uses only.

26 comments:

  1. Yay! First!

    I get to bath in clean, unsullied water!


    Arrrrgh! It burns! It burns!

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    1. That is the "Ring of Fire," Mr. DeVice.

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  2. Replies
    1. MAGO: Splashdiving…synchronized swimming’s crazy cousin.

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    2. Will there be a wed t-shirt contest too?

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    3. Does this LOOK like a disco to you?

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  3. What's with this hat and broomstick?...

    "Dorothy! You're in big trouble missy! If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times... Don't throw buckets of water over little old ladies sweeping their footpaths"

    I think I'll opt for the Full Immersion thanks Mistress....

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    1. *holds Prinny under water*

      Rumour has it that you can hold your breath a long time without coming up for air.

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    2. Well that's dependant on what I have rammed to the gills darling...

      but above water.... on occasion... I have been known to breathe through my ears....

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    3. I've found your phone number in lipstick on the inside of the font.

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  4. YES BAPTIZE ME! BAPTISE ME! YES BABY!


    OINT ME WITH YOUR HOLY CHRISM!


    Sorry. I think I got all excited by.... Plaese, carry on with the ceremony.

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    Replies
    1. HUGGY JON: Baptême!

      I'm fingering my rosary beads as we speak!

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  5. How the hell were you meant to get into and out of that thing, let alone in wringing wet robes? I think it needs a trapeze that comes down to lift one out, a la the Late Great Miss Esther Williams...

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  6. Helloooooooo! MJ what are you thinking? It will take to long to wash these sins away. And beside, the pastor above looks like he is fingering the women with his free hand, and giving hands jobs to the men.....I'm guessing.

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    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: I’m surprised you haven’t filled the portable baptistry with gin!

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  7. i hope there's a little plaque inside
    that reads: we don't swim in your
    toilet, so don't piss in our pool!

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    1. NORMA: I’m afraid of finding this.

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  8. Well, not to brag, but my church has a lobster tank.

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    1. and is there drawn butter in that thingy they swing around?

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    2. JASON: Let’s turn this portable baptistry into a dunk tank.

      We’ll place NORMA on the seat and charge admission for the other Bitches to throw balls at her.

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    3. It will be great fun...a drunken dunk tank! I just hope the lobsters don't pinch Norma in the coochie!

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    4. I see a bitch fight in a near future...

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  9. Cookie was once president of a Statewide historical organization and a dying Baptist congregation gave us their church. It included a baptismal tub on the stage, but it leaked. We sold the building for a dollar to developer who turned it into artist lofts that rented for market rate (with no mark up). It was the most stressful six months of my life.

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    Replies
    1. COOKIE: The Church of Infomaniac apologizes if we have dredged up painful memories but we will not accept responsibility for your therapy bills.

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