Monday, April 09, 2012

BJ Memories

Have you entered our Blowjob Contest yet?

If not, scroll down to the previous post and leave a comment!

In the meantime, while you're waiting to cast your votes on Tuesday, why not share your favourite BJ memories with your fellow Infomaniac Bitches?

Go on! Mistress MJ has work to do!


  1. I remember my very first blowjob. True story, and I've probably told it before.

    The first time I was confronted with a hard cock at eye level and urgent encouragement to suck it, I was seventeen and kneeling in the toilets at school.

    And I couldn't. I kind of wanted to, but the idea of putting that in there was just too disgusting. He sighed, unsurprised, and I walked away embarrassed.

    Months later, I was on a sort of date with a 28 year old guy. He had a lisp, a steady boyfriend and...the first uncut cock I'd ever got close to.

    After some alcohol and kneeling in the toilet (what, is there a theme here?) he sucked me. I wasn't looking forward to returning the favour but, well, he was nice and it'd be rude not to. So I tentatively knelt and leaned forward.

    And half an hour later I was still down there. Wondering in some puzzlement why I was enjoying it so much. I mean, it's not like it tasted like a lollipop, and it's not like I didn't have jawache...but I really really wanted to just stay down there for hours.

    A formative experience, and one I've been lucky enough to pass on to others since.

    Oh, but there's one question to ask of all cocksuckers: Do you love the cock, or the cum?

  2. Oh, mais oui, I'm all entered!

    Did I win yet?

  3. I still haven't figure out what a blow job is!!!

    1. no wonder you need your medicard!

    2. To avoid confusion (there are TWO Infomaniac Bitches named Jon) you will be addressed here as "Huggy Jon."

  4. why would you think i swallow and tell?

  5. He looked like a young Tyrone Power; smooth white skin, jet black hair and eyes that looked like hard coals floating atop pools of sour cream....

    He, along with his bitch of a wife, an obscene love for cheesy hard rock music and a darling young son, relegated him in my fantasies to no more that an 8x10 glossy in a blueboy magazine, (major spank-bank cash!!!).

    I hired him...

    'Tis true that all of my cooks fall in love with me to one extent or another, but I never expected this:

    At the height of service on a busy Friday night I called out an order. And like a symphony, my cooks moved in harmony including Mr. Tyrone Hardrock, that happened to need access to the bottom drawer of my refrigerator to retrieve two portions of black grouper to complete my orders. Now, I need tell, that that fridge I got for half price because it opened from the right which would block off the whole rest of the kitchen from view....

    This particular kitchen, located in Florida, in the summer would average a temprature of around 115*F, so we all wore baggy knee-pants, and as he squatted to reach the fish with his right hand, he slid his left hand up my shorts and pulled out my ample chef junk and started licking and sucking, put it back, and went calmly back to his duties....

    (Oh, the days of my youth!).

    The other four guys on the line that night never knew what that grouper meant to me, or the groper either....

    PS. We had drinks & fun later that night.

  6. not only was it memorable, years later a washington metro station was erected in the very same spot. (hee hee - kabuki said erected)

  7. I was 18. I'd been dating this guy for almost a year. We were extremely sexually active but up until then I had never given a blow job ever.

    I was staying the night at his house. We were in his room in the basement, which was open to the whole basement mind you. His parents & little brother were upstairs watching tv.

    We were going to bed and he asked for a blow job. I figured since he was always giving Spanish kisses I might as well return the favor.

    I have severe stage fright so I'm extremely nervous, not to mention his family upstairs and no doors to be found. On top of this he wanted the lights left on!! Seriously!!

    When I'm nervous I get the giggles. Needless to say I had them very bad that night. Every time I got his cock close to my mouth I would giggle. You CAN'T suck while you giggle, it's virtually impossible!! Thank God he was a patient guy because it took me 45 minutes to actually get it in my mouth. From his response it was worth the wait.

    After that it was easy I ambush the sailor at odd moments and set wind to his sails..

  8. BITCHES: Obviously this post is getting out of control what with the word "erected" being bandied about.

    Mistress MJ is forced to post something new as a result.

  9. Is this an out-take from the film "James and The Giant Peach"?

    1. FANNY LOVE: Welcome to Infomaniac!

      Yes, I believe this was an outtake involving the Earthworm.

    2. Thank you for your welcome note, MJ. Your blog is wonderful. I love your Freaky Friday section.

      Fanny xx

    3. FANNY LOVE: Cum again. My cottage is your cottage.

      May I direct you to Fanny Batter Friday?