Filthy, damp, run by geriatrics in bathrobes and slippers and stuffed haphazardly to the rafters with crap. (Think Collyer Brothers.)
I was just about to flounce out when I found this gem…
At $10 it was a steal compared to its retail value of $50 but I wasn’t about to buy it even for the sake of blogging or auctioning it off to one of you bitches.
As it was behind lock and key in a cabinet (who would steal it?), I didn’t take a photo of the plate … rather, I hoped there would be a good photograph on the Internet.
Unfortunately, I could find only one photo (above) and it does not do justice to the absurdity of the image.
Here then, is a description from this source…
"There Ought To Be Clowns collector plate. The 1st Plate in the Annual Telephone Pioneers Collector Series. This is Plate # 770 in an edition strictly limited to 5000 plates. Telephone Pioneer clown troops are active everywhere and this holiday visit to a home brings a great deal of pleasure to the residents. Terry Ward has captured beautifully this bittersweet but richly rewarding visit. Plate in MINT CONDITION complete with Certificate of Authenticity and original box. Approximately 8 1/2" diameter."
I’ve vowed never to return to this grubby grotto of geegaws yet don’t you think the clown plate would go well with my clown painting?
The Mistress moved the clown painting from BC? Yikes!
ReplyDeleteMistress MJ keeps the clown painting in the guest room...thereby assuring that guests will not linger long.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know what you mean!
ReplyDeleteI TOLD you I’m a bad hostess!
ReplyDeleteshudder.
ReplyDeletebut it's authentic.
ReplyDeleteDon't let Mitzi see that plate. she just loves those decorative wall hanging plates. When you dine at her place you have to take them down and pass them around and afterward you have to wash them and put them back up on the wall.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I just love clowns as you know.
5000 plates don't seem a 'limited edition' to me. In fact, it is the ultimate expression of commercial optimism I've ever seen.
ReplyDelete*runs away screaming at the scary picture of clowns*
"HRH Queen Liz forced a smile as Ronald McDonald and his accomplice threatened her and the Duke at Big Mac-point"
ReplyDeleteJASON: shudder.
ReplyDeleteDid a rabbit run over your grave?
(refer to AyeM8y’s latest post)
NORMADESMOND: but it's authentic.
Authentic genuine crap.
AYEM8Y: Don't let Mitzi see that plate. she just loves those decorative wall hanging plates. When you dine at her place you have to take them down and pass them around and afterward you have to wash them and put them back up on the wall.
Anyway, I just love clowns as you know.
How could I forget that you were the winner of the MOST HIDEOUS MUG with your CLOWN MUG in our Mug Shots Competition?!
ROSES: 5000 plates don't seem a 'limited edition' to me. In fact, it is the ultimate expression of commercial optimism I've ever seen.
*runs away screaming at the scary picture of clowns*
*lures Miss Roses back with vodka*
IVD: "HRH Queen Liz forced a smile as Ronald McDonald and his accomplice threatened her and the Duke at Big Mac-point"
“So I broke into the Palace
With a sponge and a rusty spanner
She said, "Eh, I know you and you cannot sing"
I said, "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"”
- THE SMITHS - THE QUEEN IS DEAD
i may never sleep soundly again. them are some freakin scary-ass clowns, and coming from someone who is usually surrounded by them, kabuki knows where of he speaks.
ReplyDeleteTimeless masterpiece for the discerning gerontophile.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had your courage MJ to visit those scruffy "pile em high and flog em cheap style shops that are taking over the high street. Ideally smuggled in under a blanket in a style reminiscent of the way the police bundle notorious child killers into court.
Eating off the People's Princess is a favourite website of mine.
I had put the clown painting out of my mind...
ReplyDeleteWhy???? Why would you own such a thing?????
But I understand the plate.
Sx
...tick...tick....tick...
ReplyDeleteSx
KABUKI: i may never sleep soundly again. them are some freakin scary-ass clowns, and coming from someone who is usually surrounded by them, kabuki knows where of he speaks.
ReplyDeleteMistress MJ is accepting suggestions on more soothing and soporific images to display in future posts.
MITZI: Timeless masterpiece for the discerning gerontophile.
I wish I had your courage MJ to visit those scruffy "pile em high and flog em cheap style shops that are taking over the high street. Ideally smuggled in under a blanket in a style reminiscent of the way the police bundle notorious child killers into court.
Eating off the People's Princess is a favourite website of mine.
Mistress MJ will present one of your “Princess” plates as a wedding gift to the young Royal couple when she sees them here in our nation’s capital on July 1st.
SCARLET: I had put the clown painting out of my mind...
Why???? Why would you own such a thing?????
But I understand the plate.
...tick...tick....tick...
Could you please explain the plate to the rest of us then?
It's a plate for people who are watching their calorie intake who also have an aversion to clowns.
ReplyDeleteSx
SCARLET: It's a plate for people who are watching their calorie intake who also have an aversion to clowns.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant, Miss Scarlet!
Let’s buy up the remaining 4,999 plates and market them on the Infomaniac Shopping Network.
Take THAT, Jenny Craig!
There is a reason for everything! Are we going to make millions?
ReplyDeleteSx
Millions of enemies, perhaps.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing like a Cackle of Clowns performing to a captive audience.
ReplyDeletePoor old Dears... One has to feel for them... strapped into their wheelchairs... baracaded into their seats by zimmerframe's. No hope of escaping the incessant horn honking, bad makeup and pissing daisies... remembering the security door code is an excercise in practical impossibility.
Ones only hope for revenge thankfully is double incontinance...
Or a rapid onset of well aimed projectile vomiting...
PRINCESS: There is nothing like a Cackle of Clowns performing to a captive audience.
ReplyDeletePoor old Dears... One has to feel for them... strapped into their wheelchairs... baracaded
into their seats by zimmerframe's. No hope of escaping the incessant horn honking, bad makeup and pissing daisies... remembering the security door code is an excercise in practical impossibility.
Ones only hope for revenge thankfully is double incontinance...
Or a rapid onset of well aimed projectile vomiting...
Mistress MJ does not want to think about the performance options available to her in her dotage.
I don’t know which I’d be more inclined to crash my zimmerframe into…
A cackle of clowns or a children’s choir.
Make that a kids choir dressed as clowns and I'll race you
ReplyDeleteOne of the most perfect pieces of non-sequitir dinnerware I have ever seen. Rivals the JFK-MLK ashtray for sheer aversive gut response. I assume this depicts the inner lives of a pair of Lewy Body-Altzheimers victims?
ReplyDeleteDeeeeeeeeeeeelightfully BAD!
PRINCESS: Make that a kids choir dressed as clowns and I'll race you
ReplyDeleteThe race is on!
If we tie, I challenge you to a duel.
En garde!
NATIONS: One of the most perfect pieces of non-sequitir dinnerware I have ever seen. Rivals the JFK-MLK ashtray for sheer aversive gut response. I assume this depicts the inner lives of a pair of Lewy Body-Altzheimers victims?
Deeeeeeeeeeeelightfully BAD!
Why wasn’t that ashtray in our auction?
Do you suppose I can find a Ted Kennedy hip flask on eBay?
when i am declared empress, clowns will be put to death in a public venue. along with mimes and the kardashians and croc wearing doofi. somebody actually made the executive call to manufacture that plate.
ReplyDelete"Pull!"
ReplyDelete:: skeet shooting here ::
CHICKORY: when i am declared empress, clowns will be put to death in a public venue. along with mimes and the kardashians and croc wearing doofi. somebody actually made the executive call to manufacture that plate.
ReplyDeleteI hereby declare you Empress.
Although you will have to share the title with Princess’s mother.
MICHAEL GUY: "Pull!"
:: skeet shooting here ::
Guns don’t kill people, clowns do.
"Telephone Pioneer clown troops" is not a bittersweet concept, it's a threat.
ReplyDelete@PEENEE: There should be a law!
ReplyDelete