Saturday, June 11, 2011

Relax-A-Cize

Won't you join Mistress MJ for a day of relaxation?

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The Relax-A-cizor is available NOW through the Infomaniac Shopping Network.


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30 comments:

  1. normadesmond9:15 PM, June 11, 2011

    i'm gonna strap this on my dick and turn it all the way up. then i'll call the station with my testimonial.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Mistress9:20 PM, June 11, 2011

    Fab idea, Norma!

    Fat lot of good it's doing around my thigh.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LẌ9:21 PM, June 11, 2011

    I'll take one ... and a pitcher of Cap Cods.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The Mistress9:31 PM, June 11, 2011

    Or a kettle of fish?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Romeo Morningwood12:24 AM, June 12, 2011

    The "cizor" part of the name makes my boys run and hide inside my mangina.
    It doesn't make me think of exercise it conjures scissors & incisors.

    Finger tip "facial"..hahaha..
    ya right. Who are these men on the move and how do I become one?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Princess12:25 AM, June 12, 2011

    Relax!... Relax!

    Who has time to relax!!!
    I'm Floundering under a Mountain of Fabulous Frocks here.

    My poor slot is so overworked with constant deliveries and certainly doesn't need to be any more relaxed thank you!

    Nothing like a competition to bring out the competition!

    Oh Dear... Someone's at it again... trying to poke more onto my slot...

    ReplyDelete
  7. normadesmond1:09 AM, June 12, 2011

    flounders and slots....
    i'm thinking narrow, very narrow.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Princess2:28 AM, June 12, 2011

    Will you be entering a frock Miss Desmond? You still have time you know...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Roses4:25 AM, June 12, 2011

    I've never had any problems relaxing and therefore do not need extra gadgets to gather dust.

    However, your houseboys are a bit remiss delivering my Bucks Fizz this morning.

    Cyberpete, wake up! Go harass the houseboys for me.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ms Scarlet4:40 AM, June 12, 2011

    I like a device with plenty of knobs on.
    Sx

    I hear that you are coveting Princess's hip flask, Mistress MJ?

    *raises eyebrow in a nonchalant fashion*

    ReplyDelete
  11. The Mistress6:16 AM, June 12, 2011

    DONN: The "cizor" part of the name makes my boys run and hide inside my mangina.
    It doesn't make me think of exercise it conjures scissors & incisors.
    Finger tip "facial"..hahaha..
    ya right. Who are these men on the move and how do I become one?

    *refrains from mentioning vagina dentata*

    Miss Scarlet and Mistress MJ can find ways to move you, if you’re interested.

    PRINCESS: Relax!... Relax!
    Who has time to relax!!!
    I'm Floundering under a Mountain of Fabulous Frocks here.
    My poor slot is so overworked with constant deliveries and certainly doesn't need to be any more relaxed thank you!
    Nothing like a competition to bring out the competition!
    Oh Dear... Someone's at it again... trying to poke more onto my slot...

    Floundering?

    Between you and XL’s cods, I’m getting a whiff of Kipper Surprise.

    NORMADESMOND: flounders and slots....
    i'm thinking narrow, very narrow.

    Princess has a question for you.

    PRINCESS: Will you be entering a frock Miss Desmond? You still have time you know...

    Norma is Miss Cocks in Frocks and doesn’t have to prove anything to anybody.

    ROSES: I've never had any problems relaxing and therefore do not need extra gadgets to gather dust.
    However, your houseboys are a bit remiss delivering my Bucks Fizz this morning.
    Cyberpete, wake up! Go harass the houseboys for me.

    We can safely assume that CyberPete is passed out in a champagne haze.

    SCARLET: I like a device with plenty of knobs on.
    I hear that you are coveting Princess's hip flask, Mistress MJ?
    *raises eyebrow in a nonchalant fashion*

    There are plenty of knobs for you to twiddle, Miss Scarlet.

    Yes, Mistress MJ covets Princess’s hip flask.

    What of it?

    *asks somewhat defiantly, hands on flaskless hips*

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ms Scarlet6:23 AM, June 12, 2011

    No, nothing, all is fine. I was merely making mention that I had noticed your coveting.

    *Also somewhat defiant, with hands on flaskless hips whilst making small circling movements in the gravel with the tippy-toe of her velveteen kitten heels*

    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  13. The Mistress6:25 AM, June 12, 2011

    Velveteen kitten heels?

    Or CROCS?!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ms Scarlet6:34 AM, June 12, 2011

    And what are you wearing on your feet today, Mistress MJ?

    UGGS????

    No, I apologise, forgive me as you are wearing IMMITATION UGGS!!!!

    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  15. LẌ6:37 AM, June 12, 2011

    [sheepishly pours spilt Cape Cod out of Beans Boots]

    ReplyDelete
  16. The Mistress6:39 AM, June 12, 2011

    Don't make me turn up the knobs to eleven on both of you.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Inexplicable DeVice6:48 AM, June 12, 2011

    I don't believe I need the Relax-a-cizor - I seem to have been so relaxed that I've only just noticed the Labels listing at the bottom of your blog. How long have they been there?

    ReplyDelete
  18. The Mistress6:52 AM, June 12, 2011

    The labels were added just last week thanks to help from Miss Scarlet.

    Did you notice how HUGE your name is?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Geoff7:44 AM, June 12, 2011

    The Americans usually want my ZIP code. I'm not letting that out!

    ReplyDelete
  20. The Mistress7:54 AM, June 12, 2011

    Here at the Infomaniac Shopping Network, we just want you to unzip.

    ReplyDelete
  21. designing wally8:06 AM, June 12, 2011

    Is it dishwasher safe?
    &
    Is it shipped in a plain brown paper wrapping?

    ReplyDelete
  22. The Mistress8:15 AM, June 12, 2011

    That reminds me...

    Piggy and Tazzy once sent me a packet of pork scratchings in the mail from England.

    They wrote on the parcel...

    "Good news! Your sex toy is enclosed!"

    ReplyDelete
  23. designing wally8:21 AM, June 12, 2011

    *spits coffee all over screan*
    Hhaaaaah!

    ReplyDelete
  24. The Mistress8:33 AM, June 12, 2011

    And they turned out to be the world’s most expensive pork scratchings.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ms Scarlet8:41 AM, June 12, 2011

    It's the stainage that gets me!
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  26. The Mistress8:45 AM, June 12, 2011

    Between the stainage and seepage and the stench, I nearly tossed them in the bin.

    But I dutifully washed down half the packet with a pint of Guinness.

    And that was my first and last experience with pork scratchings!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ms Scarlet8:48 AM, June 12, 2011

    I hope you were watching Corrie at the same time?
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  28. Mitzi 12:12 PM, June 12, 2011

    Have you tried Smiths Scampi Fries? Open a bag of those and it's like Billingsgate Market and they make your fingers smell all fishy. They are banned in our household.

    ReplyDelete
  29. The Mistress12:24 PM, June 12, 2011

    SCARLET: I hope you were watching Corrie at the same time?

    Absolutely, Miss Scarlet!

    I felt like I was at The Rovers Return!

    Have you seen the Corrie mugs that Piggy and Tazzy sent to me?

    I drink my tea from them each time I watch the programme.

    MITZI: Have you tried Smiths Scampi Fries? Open a bag of those and it's like Billingsgate Market and they make your fingers smell all fishy. They are banned in our household.

    No but I’ve found a website that offers worldwide delivery.

    Do you suppose there’d be much stainage?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous4:12 PM, June 12, 2011

    Looks a bit like a transportable interrogation device ...

    ReplyDelete

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