Tuesday, June 21, 2011


Just when you thought it was safe to put down your bidding paddle, we here at Infomaniac are holding another auction!

As if you haven’t accumulated enough crap from the last one…

Today, we will auction off lots from the hovel household of Ms. First Nations.

All items listed are free to a good home with postage paid by Ms. Nations herself and packages sealed with genuine First Nations spittle.

Note: Each photo pictured below represents a PACKAGE. There are several items in each package. They are veritable GRAB BAGS OF HAPPINESS!

LOT #1..."Specially selected to tickle your fancy, these
tittilating, tacky vintage advertisements are suitable for framing! Or just go wild... give your budgie something racy to read! Kosher readers should be warned that pak includes Nazi disco hits. 14 items"…

LOT #2..."Throw away those cheaters and groove on these (mostly) full page pix!! Lotsa color! Pak includes Joan Crawford, Ray Milland, Lil Abner and smoking socialites. 14 items"...

LOT #3..."Relive those thrilling days of yesteryear when 'Home Cookin' meant 'God hates you!' Mostly black and white, mainly from the1920's, these advertisements comemorate the days when the FDA was only a laughable suggestion and baby food meant 'liver soup'. 5 items."
Update:"I just added a super secret Special Gift to Lot#3 because it is so skimpy."...

Unfortunately, Mr. Egyptian Penis Man is not included in Ms. Nations' auction lot…

But one day he will be mine!

Let the bidding begin, Bitches!


  1. Is there a lot with Laudanum? Uh, I'm asking for "a friend."

  2. ***drags in newly refurbished vodka fountain***

    Now with newly installed "Twist or Olive" option....

    this should get grease the wheels of bidding......

  3. Be the first perv on your block to own the infamous 'Pine-Sol' douche ad!! (If that isn't incentive, I don't know what is.)
    And remember: Particularly naughty entreaties go a long way with me!

  4. I want Lot #1, but not because of the vintage kitsch, oh no. I am a STOUT WOMAN who needs HELP with my INTIMATE AREAS that have been NEGLECTED. The situation is becoming dire, I'm afraid. I could do with a list of industrial solvents that I can squirt up in my bizniss. Maybe it'll keep the flies away.

    I have nothing to offer you but my own shame.

  5. Whadya mean Egyptian Penis Man isn't in the Auction?


    *goes off to check out the new features on the vodka fountain*

  6. *Febrezes room liberally and cracks open a window*

  7. How do I refill these olives?

  8. Lot number 3 sounds very exciting! I'd love to put a bid on that.

    *flashes big wide colgate smile at FN*

  9. Stacia, you are a woman of rare discernment (and stank, by your own account) Now thats the spirit of the thing, my darlings! EVERYONE ELSE: Tepid, darlings. I'm sitting here hoping that you were typing your comments naked with a live eel duct taped to your nethers. I know I am. Mama wants FILTH.
    Cyberpete, darling, I KNOW you can do better than that. *flutters lot#3 enticingly*

  10. BITCHES: When Nations says she wants FILTH, she wants FILTH.

    Just do what she says and everyone will leave here unharmed.

    NATIONS: You won the damn ties.

    See comment from Mago on the last post.

  11. FN, darling! But *batters eyelashes* you can put it anywhere..

  12. Mago: Freaklickingprocession? WHATS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???

    Mago: on me or you? do you have places big enough to tuck a manilla envelope into? Because there's a website like that. It's Franconian.

  13. Yeah babe, we DO freacklickin' 'round 'ere with all flucking pomp'n circumcision we can find! Envelopin' is for Danes!

  14. Lord knows where that Egyptian penis bric-a-brac has been.

    I had a "Nefer-pee-pee" joke but this is a tough crowd here tonight...

  15. I have a feeling we'll be here all night.

  16. I grab my bag of happiness now ...

  17. It's quiet tonight. It's either my stank or the crushing disappointment of not being able to bid on Penis Man.

  18. Penis Man is looking a little worn. He's either been doing a lot of polishing or FN has been using him inappropriately.

  19. *sits ringside with popcorn to watch Mago grabbing his "happiness bag"*

    *places corn dog air freshener around Stacia’s neck*
    Trust me, Stacia…Ms. Nations will NOT be able to resist.

    *agrees with CyberPete about Mr. Egyptian Penis Man*
    Note that he's starting to look a lot like Victor Noir’s crotch.

  20. Eww MJ! He looks like he's been playing with the unwashed/douched

  21. Who goes to a cemetery to rub up on the weenises of the deceased? Or their effigies? The French, that's who.
    I'll have you know that Mr. Egyptian Penis man ALREADY HAS A GIRLFRIEND. She is Ms. Fillipino DangerTits Lady.
    I'd much prefer to use CyberPete inappropriately. With a manilla envelope. In the library.

  22. Like I said FN, you can put it anywhere, and it doesn't have to be the library *winks*

  23. Let me get this straight...

    We have Mago grabbing his happiness bag, Shameful Skank Stacia, and CyberPete winking from one of his orifices.

    Tough call.

  24. Of course, the Mistress covets the most desirable item... Miss Janey would expect no less.

  25. I'll put in a bit for a job lot! All 3 lots. It will save Ms Nations the trauma of remembering 3 different addresses. Then she can get back to playing happy houses with Mr Egyptian Penis Man and Miss Fillipino Danger Tits Lady....

    I think the posters will make lovely table place mats if i crochet a lovely lacy edge around each of them.
    they will become the talking pieces at the next church jumble sale for sure... I sooo want the swinging cows!

  26. Fuck you blogger i'm not anonymous!

  27. Oh Hai Princess! Didn't recognize you before!

  28. OOOOOO Prinny! The thought of my clippings being turned into lovely placemats makes my putter flutter!
    What a handsome fate for Elsie the Cow and her progeny! You draw a tempting picture indeed.

    SOMEBODY NEEDS TO BREAK THIS TIE. Preferrably with a detailed account of what humiliating deviancies one would perform in order to be worthy of these fine works of commercial art.

  29. SOMEBODY humiliate themselves for art!

    We must move along now to Filthy Friday.

    You bitches work this out with Ms. Nations.

  30. Putter fluttering aside.., I require new wall coverings in the lavatory as I'm becoming extremely bored with looking at prints of the Hoff. It is worese than Dorian Grey... there is so much work he's had done it is hard to recognise him...

    So the items that don't pass muster at the jumble sale will make stunning accoutriments to my "little boys" room. Of couse I'd need to put up a sign saying "No Splashing" or "Please remain seated during the entire performance, whilst viewing Ms Nations historical treasures"...

    Oh i just can't wait... I've gone all moist at the very thought..

    Oh.. And Hai Mr XL...

  31. "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweet and wipe the seat!"


    for playing the game the way the game was meant to be played,
    STACIA wins consolation prize Lysol ad with secret extras...

    for extra whining, CYPERPETE wins his lot #3

    and for flattering my vanity, PRINCESS WINS THE GRAND SWEEPSTAKES!

    My darlings, here is my email addo:


    you'd do best to just copy that and replace the AT with a @. the zero isn't a zero...it's a lower case letter o. And be honest, folks, you're all partied out the majority of the time, like me. Or maybe not LIKE me, but close.