I shall be playing the Shelley Winters role of Belle Rosen.
You see, Mr. Scott? In the water I'm a very skinny lady.
Choose your own character (you'll have to fight me for the Shelley Winters role) or select one of several Poseidon Adventure action figures to act out your part.
If you’re camera shy and would prefer to work behind the scenes, tell us how you would have rewritten the script or recast the film.
You’re the directors, darlings!
I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.
-- Shelley Winters
***wanders in***
ReplyDelete***curls up and goes to sleep***
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I will have Céline Dion sing the title song!
ReplyDeleteI wanna be Manny Rosen. The other Jew.
ReplyDeleteAnd I want the Shelley Winters action figure.
I’ll be the Carol Lynley part of the disco lounge hot pant wearing singer, “There’s got to be a morning A-H-F-T-E-R”
ReplyDelete"Detective Lieutenant Mike Rogo", because Borgnine is sex on legs.
ReplyDeleteBEAST: ***wanders in***
ReplyDelete***curls up and goes to sleep***
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*offended by fumes of Beast's stinky duvet*
*pushes Beast off catwalk onto burning platform, below*
XL: I will have Céline Dion sing the title song!
She’s too busy being artificially inseminated at the moment, thankfully.
LEAH: I wanna be Manny Rosen. The other Jew.
And I want the Shelley Winters action figure.
Can you imagination the uproar from the Anti-Defamation League if Manny had been impaled on the Christmas tree?!
Hands off the Shelley Winters action figure, beeyotch.
AYEM8Y: I’ll be the Carol Lynley part of the disco lounge hot pant wearing singer, “There’s got to be a morning A-H-F-T-E-R”
You hot pants hussy!
And it’s obvious you’re lip synching.
Love your go-go boots!
JASON: "Detective Lieutenant Mike Rogo", because Borgnine is sex on legs.
Ethel Merman must have thought so … temporarily.
Their marriage lasted 32 days.
In her autobiography, the chapter entitled "My Marriage to Ernest Borgnine" consists of one blank page.
Irwin Allen would be a nice role for me.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBlogger Kapitano said...
ReplyDeleteI've got to be the captain! ;-)
Even if it does mean being played by Leslie Neilsen.
I want better pay and my own movie.
ReplyDeleteThere is no way I'll share with you lot
I can only manage the breast stroke, so I'll be no good at playing Belle. I'll be one of the distraught extras, babbling about green fields and Hampstead Heath with spray dashing my face the salt caking my eyelashes, then when the ship starts to roll and pitch I plunge myself over the washy gunnels to my watery death.
ReplyDeleteMAGO: Irwin Allen would be a nice role for me.
ReplyDeleteWe shall refer to you from now on as "The Master of Disaster".
KAPI: Blogger Kapitano said...
I've got to be the captain! ;-)
Even if it does mean being played by Leslie Neilsen.
We foresee a lifetime of playing bumbling cops ahead of you while your brother climbs the ladder of Canadian politics.
CYBERPOOF: I want better pay and my own movie.
There is no way I'll share with you lot
I suppose you’ll want your own dressing room as well.
MITZI: I can only manage the breast stroke, so I'll be no good at playing Belle. I'll be one of the distraught extras, babbling about green fields and Hampstead Heath with spray dashing my face the salt caking my eyelashes, then when the ship starts to roll and pitch I plunge myself over the washy gunnels to my watery death.
Face it … you just want to be surrounded by seamen.
Not seen this for ages.
ReplyDeleteCan I be the Carol Lynley character?
She was once a 'Baby Doll' like me.
I read that Shelley vigorously "entertained" nearly every leading man in Hollywood.
ReplyDelete:0
KAZ: Not seen this for ages.
ReplyDeleteCan I be the Carol Lynley character?
She was once a 'Baby Doll' like me.
Are you prepared to duke it out with Ayem8y for the part?
He fights dirty, you know.
Hint: Grab his wig and run.
DONN: I read that Shelley vigorously "entertained" nearly every leading man in Hollywood.:0
Regarding the salacious details of her love life recounted in her memoir…
"The only ones who complained were the men I left out."
She died of heart failure the day after she married her fourth husband; a man 30 years her junior.
Now THAT’S entertainment.
I’m an “Everybody’s Sort of Actress” Kaz can be my Carol Lynley understudy or stand-in! Or heck he can have the part if he wants it.
ReplyDeleteI’m giving like that.
Besides Carol really never worked much after this movie as her career went into decline. I’ll move up to the star making role of Pamela Sue Martin’s, ‘Susan‘.
Mitzi can play the mischievous little brother when she’s not busy playing everyone else. Then I’ll move on to more exciting fare such as Nancy Drew Mysteries and Fallon on Dynasty.
AYEM8Y: I’m an “Everybody’s Sort of Actress” Kaz can be my Carol Lynley understudy or stand-in! Or heck he can have the part if he wants it.
ReplyDeleteI’m giving like that.
Besides Carol really never worked much after this movie as her career went into decline. I’ll move up to the star making role of Pamela Sue Martin’s, ‘Susan‘.
Mitzi can play the mischievous little brother when she’s not busy playing everyone else. Then I’ll move on to more exciting fare such as Nancy Drew Mysteries and Fallon on Dynasty.
*holds breath waiting for KAZ to see that she’s morphed into a man*
shelley was the greatest. i haven't seen "precious" yet. but i'm thinking mo'nique (another genius who has an apostrophe in her name, but the apostrophe is for looks only, it doesn't replace a letter...grrr) who will probably win an oscar, used shelley's performance in "a patch of blue" as her springboard.
ReplyDeleteStella Stevens. Definitely.
ReplyDeleteOr the grand piano.
Finally getting into watersports?
ReplyDeleteNORMADESMOND: shelley was the greatest. i haven't seen "precious" yet. but i'm thinking mo'nique (another genius who has an apostrophe in her name, but the apostrophe is for looks only, it doesn't replace a letter...grrr) who will probably win an oscar, used shelley's performance in "a patch of blue" as her springboard.
ReplyDeleteWhen putting your name up in lights on the marquee, I shall refrain from spelling it ‘NormaDesm’nd”.
FELIX: Stella Stevens. Definitely.
Or the grand piano.
Ooooh, we can see your panties!
We take issue with your quip directed at Belle, “I'm going next. So if old fat ass gets stuck in there, I won't get stuck behind her.”
ISTVANSKI: Finally getting into watersports?
Obviously you missed our Golden Showers post.
I shall play Acres. Not only for the yellow satin jacket, but also because it is unknown if Acres died or survived. I shall live. LIVE! Mwah hah hah hah haa!
ReplyDeleteIVD: I shall play Acres. Not only for the yellow satin jacket, but also because it is unknown if Acres died or survived. I shall live. LIVE! Mwah hah hah hah haa!
ReplyDeleteHe DIES!!!
*fatally clubs IVD over the head with hardcover edition of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Never Ending Sacrifice*
How about that, IDV? I, too, was interested in the Acres role but purely for the shiny gold jacket--I need more warm colors in my wardrobe.
ReplyDeleteWe get to keep the clothes after the shoot, right?
Perhaps we could turn the entire movie into a musical!
EROS: How about that, IDV? I, too, was interested in the Acres role but purely for the shiny gold jacket--I need more warm colors in my wardrobe.
ReplyDeleteWe get to keep the clothes after the shoot, right?
Perhaps we could turn the entire movie into a musical!
Here’s my character attempting to sing Diana Ross’s “Upside Down” underwater.
*snatches clothes off Eros’ back*
Yes! My very own dressing room with en suite bathroom in all white with white roses and lillies.
ReplyDeleteAnd I only want the blue m&m's, Bollinger champagne and my own personal assistant. He must be no older than 29, fit and works hard.
Contact my manager for the rest of my rider.
* pumps blood out at a cream-carpet-frightening rate *
ReplyDeleteHa! You'll never get these stains out, MJ!
We'll have to share that jacket then, Eros. Of course, I might have to have use of it more than you - Purely to satisfy MJ's lust for your hot torso. And 'Petra's. Oh, and mine, of course.
CYBERPOOF: Yes! My very own dressing room with en suite bathroom in all white with white roses and lillies.
ReplyDeleteAnd I only want the blue m&m's, Bollinger champagne and my own personal assistant. He must be no older than 29, fit and works hard.
Contact my manager for the rest of my rider.
How many rooms will you need for your WIGS?
IVD: * pumps blood out at a cream-carpet-frightening rate *
Ha! You'll never get these stains out, MJ!
We'll have to share that jacket then, Eros. Of course, I might have to have use of it more than you - Purely to satisfy MJ's lust for your hot torso. And 'Petra's. Oh, and mine, of course.
If I can get yogurt stains out of my blue frock, I can remove blood stains.
*notes that IVD is now wearing the hot pants*
*arranges for priest to read last rites over IVD’s soon-to-be-dead body*
I want Class. Can these skinny boys sing at least? They have no chance competing against Shelley ... btw this Pete shall move outa my bureau or I'll cast him as "Drowning Victim".
ReplyDeleteMAGO: I want Class. Can these skinny boys sing at least? They have no chance competing against Shelley ... btw this Pete shall move outa my bureau or I'll cast him as "Drowning Victim".
ReplyDeleteDo what you must do, Mein Master of Disaster.
I want the boys balancing on the shaft, slowly advancing to the back. There will be a marvellous ending scene.
ReplyDeleteWhere's the story board? I only found this worn magazine on my desk. Who's in charge of the technical and logistical aspects? Where are the sharks? I wanted sharks, no goddam' flipper ... can it!
Where's the catering?
So my heroine, do me the favour and accompany this humble servant down to the gypsies tend.
background waiter....no lines....steals whiskey, gets drunk, cares not a jot....whoop whoop!
ReplyDeleteMAGO: I want the boys balancing on the shaft, slowly advancing to the back. There will be a marvellous ending scene.
ReplyDeleteWhere's the story board? I only found this worn magazine on my desk. Who's in charge of the technical and logistical aspects? Where are the sharks? I wanted sharks, no goddam' flipper ... can it!
Where's the catering?
So my heroine, do me the favour and accompany this humble servant down to the gypsies tend.
Boys balancing on shafts?
Oh my!
Is “gypsies tend” another term for the “casting couch”?
MANUEL: background waiter....no lines....steals whiskey, gets drunk, cares not a jot....whoop whoop!
At least we won’t have to tip you!
No, I was just refering to the canteen. My sofa? You'd be surprised m'dear.
ReplyDeleteMAGO: No, I was just refering to the canteen. My sofa? You'd be surprised m'dear.
ReplyDeleteI bet your phone never stops ringing!
Mistress, this is starting to resemble a Mickey Mouse production!
ReplyDelete[fluffs life jackets]
XL: Mistress, this is starting to resemble a Mickey Mouse production!
ReplyDelete[fluffs life jackets]
Upon clicking your link, I found it was a cheap ploy to get me to see the word ‘Willy’.
Perhaps I should think about preparing Monday’s post early.
When does Beast have those trannie nights at Cafe C?
ReplyDeleteKAZ: When does Beast have those trannie nights at Cafe C?
ReplyDeleteThe general rule of thumb here on Infomaniac is that if dude looks like a lady, she’s probably a man.
A friend of my ex-husband's said to me in the 80's: you look like Shelly Winters. When I shot him a dirty look, he quickly said, "Oh not NOW but when she was beautiful." Whatev. And now I hear she shits in sinks. Great.
ReplyDeleteBut those glasses ARE fabulous and I know La Diva could work 'em!
LA DIVA CUCINA: A friend of my ex-husband's said to me in the 80's: you look like Shelly Winters. When I shot him a dirty look, he quickly said, "Oh not NOW but when she was beautiful." Whatev. And now I hear she shits in sinks. Great.
ReplyDeleteBut those glasses ARE fabulous and I know La Diva could work 'em!
Are you on your fourth husband yet?
That's when you know you're following the Shelley path.
oh dear, I'm only two husbands down. Does that count? I don't want to appear improper about this...
ReplyDeleteLA DIVA CUCINA: oh dear, I'm only two husbands down. Does that count? I don't want to appear improper about this...
ReplyDeleteShelley was 85 when she married her fourth husband.
So I figure you still have time to catch up.