Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Crocs O-Dial

Mistress MJ has taken to her bed as a result of this …





Mistress MJ’s Official Pillow Fluffer and IT Consultant, XL, knows how much I detest Crocs.

Yet he had the audacity to bring the Crocs-O-Dial Universal Cell Phone Case to my attention.

Worse still…it’s being sold at Walmart!

And we all know what kind of people shop at Walmart! …



(click to enlarge)


Not only that but KAZ plans to buy me a Crocs O-Dial for Christmas!





Please excuse Mistress MJ as she pulls shut the curtains and reclines with a case of the vapors.

I don’t know how much more Crocs product I can take.

39 comments:

  1. Wow. Wal Mart is truly evil. Not only are they destroying local small business, they're mass selling ugly products.

    I hope there's a universal case to stuff in the typical Wal Mart customer. Seriously, that woman is a terrible human being--smoking while pregnant!

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  2. Mistress, good news! I've found the perfect shorts and shirt!

    [fluffs pillows]

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  3. Enough with the CROCS™

    I’m surprised they don’t make their own CROCS™ cell phone protective cases. Or CROCS™ disposable cell phones for that matter. Why stop there...lets see CROCS™ mobile homes and CROCS™ bathtub mats and shower curtains. Oh the possibilities are endless, like mattress pads or mattresses and even upholstery...

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  4. Yet another reason not to to get out of bed in the morning.

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  5. But MJ.
    Just look at the photo - the pink one coordinates with your outfit perfectly.

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  6. Oh God. I feel ill.

    *runs away quickly*

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  7. that ain't right, sugar! xoxoxo

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  8. EROS: Wow. Wal Mart is truly evil. Not only are they destroying local small business, they're mass selling ugly products.
    I hope there's a universal case to stuff in the typical Wal Mart customer. Seriously, that woman is a terrible human being--smoking while pregnant!


    I see they’ve managed to catch IVD on camera at Walmart in one of his Desperate Housewives wigs.

    XL: Mistress, good news! I've found the perfect shorts and shirt!
    [fluffs pillows]


    Why must you taunt me so?

    But at least they’ve thought to address the problem of “inner thigh chafing” with those shorts.

    *falls back dramatically onto pillows*

    AYEM8Y: Enough with the CROCS™
    I’m surprised they don’t make their own CROCS™ cell phone protective cases. Or CROCS™ disposable cell phones for that matter. Why stop there...lets see CROCS™ mobile homes and CROCS™ bathtub mats and shower curtains. Oh the possibilities are endless, like mattress pads or mattresses and even upholstery...


    It’s a sign of the coming Apocalypse.

    I hope you’ve battened down your hatch.

    MICHAEL RIVERS: I'm right there with you!!

    Share my pain.

    CYBERPOOF: Yet another reason not to to get out of bed in the morning.

    I’ve rallied ‘round only briefly to reply to your comments.

    I feel another fainting spell coming on.

    KAZ: But MJ.
    Just look at the photo - the pink one coordinates with your outfit perfectly.


    Unlike our friend BEAST with his SpongeBob pj’s, Mistress MJ does NOT wear her pyjamas in public!

    ROSES: Oh God. I feel ill.
    *runs away quickly*


    Thank you for observing the “No Vomiting” sign on this blog.

    JASON: Disgusting!

    We regret subjecting you to this crassness so early in the morning.

    SAVANNAH: that ain't right, sugar!

    Normative ethics appear to have no place in the Crocs company.

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  9. I am SO getting a pair of those fleece lined Crocs!
    No wait, I'll need 2 so that I can wear one Red and one Green at all of the Seasonal parties that I'll be attending

    So there HATERS!

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  10. As do I dear. It's 'orrible!

    A fashion crime on a very grande scale!

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  11. MJ: I see they’ve managed to catch IVD on camera at Walmart in one of his Desperate Housewives wigs.

    How dare you! I would never wear those boots with that jacket.
    Just for that, I put a Crocs on you! Sorry, I mean, pox.

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  12. DONN: I am SO getting a pair of those fleece lined Crocs!
    No wait, I'll need 2 so that I can wear one Red and one Green at all of the Seasonal parties that I'll be attending
    So there HATERS!


    Don’t you DARE even consider posing in those Crocs with The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts!

    CYBERPOOF: As do I dear. It's 'orrible!
    A fashion crime on a very grande scale!
    Donnnnnnnn!
    I'm appalled


    Donn is up to no good, I tell you.

    IVD: MJ: I see they’ve managed to catch IVD on camera at Walmart in one of his Desperate Housewives wigs.

    How dare you! I would never wear those boots with that jacket.
    Just for that, I put a Crocs on you! Sorry, I mean, pox.


    You must admit she has the same long luminous legs as you do!

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  13. Would The Mistress like some peeled grapes?

    [fluffs pillows]

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  14. XL: Would The Mistress like some peeled grapes?
    [fluffs pillows]


    The Mistress would like a Xanax!

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  15. It would make a very attractive merkin.....wipe clean as well !!!

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  16. the only thing worse than crocs, are used crocs. my dil runs a consignment shop and you'd be appalled and amused at how many people not only thought they were 'hawt' enough to buy, but valuable enough to try and pass along. she always rolls her eyes and bins them.

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  17. BEAST: It would make a very attractive merkin.....wipe clean as well!!!

    I should think it a bit too large for covering YOUR wee bits!

    NATIONS: the only thing worse than crocs, are used crocs. my dil runs a consignment shop and you'd be appalled and amused at how many people not only thought they were 'hawt' enough to buy, but valuable enough to try and pass along. she always rolls her eyes and bins them.

    When you referred to your “dil” I paused for a moment, thinking you were going on about your vibrators again.

    She may think she’s wise to bin them but someone could fetch them out of the trash.

    Burning them is the only solution.

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  18. Speechless. I'm speechless. Not even nekkid old geezer testicles can leave me this much at a loss for words.

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  19. LEAH: Speechless. I'm speechless. Not even nekkid old geezer testicles can leave me this much at a loss for words.

    Not even these testicles?

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  20. Hi Mistress MJ.

    Glad to see you still posting!

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  21. Okay, maybe those leave me a little flabbergasted too. But I'd still prefer those uber-danglers to the Croc cell phone case.

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  22. I thought those bastards went bankrupt !

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  23. CHRIS: Hi Mistress MJ.
    Glad to see you still posting!


    *FAINTS*

    *revives just long enough to say…*

    I am so thankful that you’re back. We were all pulling for you.

    Everyone has missed you so very much as you must know from all the comments on your blog and on the blog that Donn created for you.

    I’ve thought about you every day since you went into hospital and I’m very happy that you’re Home Sweet Home with your family.

    Just in time for the Grey Cup!

    Oh, and notice that my subject matter hasn’t changed since you’ve been gone…

    Crocs and cock!

    LEAH: Okay, maybe those leave me a little flabbergasted too. But I'd still prefer those uber-danglers to the Croc cell phone case.

    Uber danglers uber alles.

    DONN: Hi Chris :)

    My two favourite Winnipeg guys…back in business!

    *sigh*

    HEFF: I thought those bastards went bankrupt !

    Are YOU back TOO?!

    This is really old home week!

    Now tell whassisname Harrison to get his ass over here.

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  24. just say NO!

    my phone is far too busy to need a jacket.

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  25. I'm holding TFGES hostage until I receive an official statement from donnnnnn saying he will not combine the Shorts and Crocs or any other pair of atrocious footwear.

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  26. I recently saw a display of imitation crocs. Can you believe that? Vile!

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  27. ...and crocs in flip-flop form for the hotter months of the year.

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  28. I just did a sick in my mouth.....

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  29. I just did a sick in my mouth.....

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  30. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  31. ...then it would have been 'kosher dill', darling. *inspects various infomaniac men for hesher*

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  32. CARNALIS: just say NO!
    my phone is far too busy to need a jacket.


    I’m certain your phone is always set to vibrate.

    CYBERPOOF: I'm holding TFGES hostage until I receive an official statement from donnnnnn saying he will not combine the Shorts and Crocs or any other pair of atrocious footwear.

    I fear for TFGES in his maniacal hands.

    MITZI: I recently saw a display of imitation crocs. Can you believe that? Vile!
    ...and crocs in flip-flop form for the hotter months of the year.


    Knock-off Prada we can understand.

    But knock-off Crocs?

    As for flip-flops, that is yet another form of footwear Mistress MJ despises.

    A combo of flip-flops with Crocs is too much to ponder.

    *lies down again, this time with a cold compress*

    MANUEL: I just did a sick in my mouth.....
    I just did a sick in my mouth.....


    Twice!

    NATIONS: ...then it would have been 'kosher dill', darling. *inspects various infomaniac men for hesher*

    Beast is branded with the ‘Yashan’ symbol…meaning old.

    BOXER: **pours bleach in eyes**

    19th yesterday…

    34th today?

    Is there something you'd like to tell us?

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  33. I LOATHE these f*ckin' dumb ass shoes!

    wow. Guess I had repressed CROCS feelings...

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  34. MICHAEL GUY: I LOATHE these f*ckin' dumb ass shoes!
    wow. Guess I had repressed CROCS feelings...


    Then you’ve come to the right place.

    We caution that reading about SnUggs (a cross between Crocs and Uggs) will raise your blood pressure.

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