Monday, June 22, 2009

Walk a Mile in My Jimmy Choos

Imagine, for a moment, that you are Mistress MJ.



Tell us about a typical day in your life if you were in her shoes.

42 comments:

  1. Have a drink.
    Look hot.
    Slap a bitch.
    Have a drink.
    Slap another bitch.
    Take a nap.

    ReplyDelete
  2. JASON: Have a drink.
    Look hot.
    Slap a bitch.
    Have a drink.
    Slap another bitch.
    Take a nap.


    How uncanny.

    It’s like you’re sashaying about in my Roger Viviers.

    Work it, girlfriend!

    ReplyDelete
  3. If I were in The Mistress' shoes, it would be like Chinese foot binding.

    ReplyDelete
  4. SAVANNAH: so, i'm second? again?

    Unlike last night, at least you were awake for this one.

    XL: If I were in The Mistress' shoes, it would be like Chinese foot binding.

    She would not be able to move and thus would require XL to fluff her pillows all day.

    Is this your way of asking for overtime?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ow, owow, ow OW! XL, that is just plain barbaric! However, I would share the same fate as I am quite certain MJ wears about a size 4... and I have 10 AA's stuck to the bottom on my legs.

    I would, however, enjoy some of the pillow fluffing and foot massages that Mistress MJ receives... along with the drinks, of course!

    The flaming uterus, she can keep to herself, though. I am so done with that part of life!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I would be making the houseboys pour me drinks while I looked around for a more comfy pair of shoes.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are kidding right?

    You wouldn't let anyone wear your Jimmy Choos. Not
    ever.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Er - those people in the picture MJ - they seem to have all their clothes on.
    Are you well dear?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Did you know Jimmy Choo is shortly to launch a bargain basement range of shoes for Asda(Thats Walmart to you heathen colonials).
    Chavs and Trailer trash will soon be sashaying along with you.
    Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HA

    ReplyDelete
  10. You are so mean Beastie!

    I LOVE YOU!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Morning
    Awake late - be showered and pampered by houseboys.
    Have first cocktail.

    Midday
    Luncheon
    Be massaged and pampered by houseboys.
    Have another cocktail.

    Afternoon
    Have mani/pedi and be pampered by houseboys.
    Move to lounge by the pool.
    Have another cocktail.

    Evening
    Dine with gorgeous people.
    Be served and pampered by the houseboys.
    Kick gorgeous people out.
    Have another cocktail.
    Have houseboys do their "duty".

    Sleep in repose.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am in your shoes. They are very uncomfortable.

    And cheap.

    This liberty bodice isn't going to stay on too much longer, either.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Jimmy Choo was born to be a cobbler.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I wouldnt wear them!I would sit & fondle & Smell 'em.....;

    ReplyDelete
  15. I would get no more than a big toe in your shoes so Would have to put my feet up and eat cake all day

    ReplyDelete
  16. I would use your credit card a lot. And I would keep the shoes in exchange for my Beavers.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  17. PONITA: Ow, owow, ow OW! XL, that is just plain barbaric! However, I would share the same fate as I am quite certain MJ wears about a size 4... and I have 10 AA's stuck to the bottom on my legs.
    I would, however, enjoy some of the pillow fluffing and foot massages that Mistress MJ receives... along with the drinks, of course!
    The flaming uterus, she can keep to herself, though. I am so done with that part of life!


    Mistress MJ takes a size 6 US/Canada Womens.
    Or size 3 UK Womens.
    Or Size 36 European.

    Just in case you want to present me with the gift of shoes.

    And none of your ugly ass Crocs, thank you very much.


    BOXER: I would be making the houseboys pour me drinks while I looked around for a more comfy pair of shoes.

    The Choos are perfectly comfortable if you’re being served cocktails and never have to get up from your Rococo chaise.

    CYBERPOOF: You are kidding right?
    You wouldn't let anyone wear your Jimmy Choos. Not
    ever.


    Not even Kaz with her equally petite feet.

    I bet Kaz’s feet are too wide to fit into my shoes anyway.

    KAZ: Er - those people in the picture MJ - they seem to have all their clothes on.
    Are you well dear?


    Now that you mention it, I am feeling a little peaky.

    ReplyDelete
  18. BEAST: Did you know Jimmy Choo is shortly to launch a bargain basement range of shoes for Asda(Thats Walmart to you heathen colonials).
    Chavs and Trailer trash will soon be sashaying along with you.
    Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HA


    We hereby sentence you to wear a Burberry baseball cap from here to eternity.

    We shall laugh as you are publically scoffed at in the streets.

    And think of how it will clash with that horrid fireside rug of yours!


    CYBERPOOF: You are so mean Beastie!
    I LOVE YOU!


    *bitch slaps CyberPoof*

    ReplyDelete
  19. DAMIEN: Morning
    Awake late - be showered and pampered by houseboys.
    Have first cocktail.

    Midday
    Luncheon
    Be massaged and pampered by houseboys.
    Have another cocktail.

    Afternoon
    Have mani/pedi and be pampered by houseboys.
    Move to lounge by the pool.
    Have another cocktail.

    Evening
    Dine with gorgeous people.
    Be served and pampered by the houseboys.
    Kick gorgeous people out.
    Have another cocktail.
    Have houseboys do their "duty".

    Sleep in repose.


    Amazingly spot on!

    Just yesterday Mistress MJ joined acquaintances for breakfast at a restaurant and ordered a cocktail at breakfast.

    Everyone else ordered coffee.

    There were hushed mumblings I can assure you.

    ReplyDelete
  20. VICUS: I am in your shoes. They are very uncomfortable.
    And cheap.
    This liberty bodice isn't going to stay on too much longer, either.


    Face it.

    You’ll never fill out that bodice the way I do.

    GEOFF: Jimmy Choo was born to be a cobbler.

    We’re assuming you mean that in the negative British sense of the word?

    TONY: I wouldnt wear them!I would sit & fondle & Smell 'em.....;

    Mistress MJ has done just that on many occasions.

    Or did you mean you wanted to sit and fondle and smell Mistress MJ’s shoes, specifically?

    LULU: I would get no more than a big toe in your shoes so Would have to put my feet up and eat cake all day

    Did someone mention cake?

    SAVANNAH: how did you know? xoxox

    Your life is an open book, er, blog.

    SCARLET: I would use your credit card a lot. And I would keep the shoes in exchange for my Beavers.

    Your Beavers are a fashion crime and we’re making a citizen’s arrest.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I am sure she can't. Not if she has to wear those hideous Doc Martins.

    ReplyDelete
  22. If I were in your shoes, the first thing I'd do is buy new shoes! Bigger size and comfortable. Perhaps some hiking boots or beach sandals.

    Then I'd instruct the help to wash the clothes--they most likely went thru the wardrobe to play dress up. Bastards! Good help is so hard to find.

    Finally, have a drink and start looking for nekkid old men fotos to satisfy the insatiable hunger of those perverted Infomaniac bitches.

    ReplyDelete
  23. CYBERPOOF: I am sure she can't. Not if she has to wear those hideous Doc Martins.

    You DO realize that Mistress MJ owns a pair of Docs as well, don’t you?

    *wonders about Kaz’s choice of footwear for Spain*

    EROS: If I were in your shoes, the first thing I'd do is buy new shoes! Bigger size and comfortable. Perhaps some hiking boots or beach sandals.
    Then I'd instruct the help to wash the clothes--they most likely went thru the wardrobe to play dress up. Bastards! Good help is so hard to find.
    Finally, have a drink and start looking for nekkid old men fotos to satisfy the insatiable hunger of those perverted Infomaniac bitches.


    Why should Mistress MJ get hiking boots or beach sandals when she is carried everywhere by sedan chair?

    It’s true what you say about the help playing dress-up…a few of the houseboys have stretched my stockings beyond repair!

    Lastly, you can rest assured that the nekkid old men foto well will never dry up.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I wasn't aware, no.

    That doesn't make them any less hideous though.
    Pox on docs!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Drink a bottle of Jamesons and fall over. That's about it really.

    The house boys will, of course, clean up the mes.

    ReplyDelete
  26. CYBERPOOF: I wasn't aware, no.
    That doesn't make them any less hideous though.
    Pox on docs!


    *leaves imprint of Docs on CyberPoof’s arse*

    GARFY: Drink a bottle of Jamesons and fall over. That's about it really.
    The house boys will, of course, clean up the mes.


    You have insider information.

    Of course, it only happened a time or two.

    *cough*

    ReplyDelete
  27. ...the burberry baseball cap was a cruel idea [snigger]...
    Sx
    [DM's are cool]

    ReplyDelete
  28. SCARLET: ...the burberry baseball cap was a cruel idea [snigger]...

    We must refer you to a previous post entitled Burberry Gone Bad.

    It’s right up there with The Plaid Room.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Spend yet another day at the STD clinic.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Manuel has returned.....rejoice!

    http://www.coddlepot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  31. KNUDSEN: Spend yet another day at the STD clinic.

    The clinic they named after you.

    MANUEL: Manuel has returned.....rejoice!

    Yay!

    But how do we know which entries were written by YOU?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Last time I was on high heels I was pretty high. And crashed. I'll stay with my size ten deep sea divers boots.
    Anyway a day in the Mistress' shoes would involve a lot of dreaming, Phantasey and imagination - I am not sure whether I could stand this!

    ReplyDelete
  33. MAGO: Last time I was on high heels I was pretty high. And crashed. I'll stay with my size ten deep sea divers boots.
    Anyway a day in the Mistress' shoes would involve a lot of dreaming, Phantasey and imagination - I am not sure whether I could stand this!


    We are strangely aroused by the thought of you high in high heels.

    As for Mistress MJ’s Phantesey life, it is indeed heady stuff and likely to topple you off your deep sea divers boots.

    ReplyDelete
  34. In fact I have very nice legs.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I post on Tuesdays.....and other times.....but mainly tuesdays....

    ReplyDelete
  36. MAGO: In fact I have very nice legs.

    Would you like Mistress MJ to shave them?

    MANUEL: I post on Tuesdays.....and other times.....but mainly tuesdays....

    Then TUESDAY is my GOOD NEWS day!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Mean Dirty Pirate slips on Mistresses Jimmy Choos and clicks heels together three times and wonders why they don’t work and also why they are so big and roomy?

    ReplyDelete
  38. AYEM8Y: Mean Dirty Pirate slips on Mistresses Jimmy Choos and clicks heels together three times and wonders why they don’t work and also why they are so big and roomy?

    You really are asking for a good bitch slapping.

    *inserts stilettoed heel into Mean Dirty Pirate’s well-lubed coin slot instead and makes him walk the plank*

    ReplyDelete
  39. High Heels? I'd be attending to my corns and bunions.

    ReplyDelete