Thursday, June 04, 2009

Go Away

Due to SATANIC CRAMPS FROM HELL…



... Mistress MJ is not welcoming visitors today.
Posted by at
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40 comments:

  1. eroswings10:45 PM, June 03, 2009

    Quick! Somebody get an old priest and a young priest!

    The power of Christ compels you!
    The power of Christ compels you!
    The power of Christ compels you!

    I'd be angry too if someone was firing tanks at my crotch!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous11:55 PM, June 03, 2009

    no probs MJ.

    we'll just hang around here and amuse ourselves.

    ReplyDelete
  3. mrpeenee12:14 AM, June 04, 2009

    Oh. Uhm. SO sorry, I'll...uhm... just tiptoe quietly out. Lady plumbing is not my strong suit.

    ReplyDelete
  4. CyberPete1:08 AM, June 04, 2009

    Well it's not easy being green

    ReplyDelete
  5. BEAST1:18 AM, June 04, 2009

    ****stuffs hot water bottle up Miss MJ's vest , sprinkles holy water and runs like hell****

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ms Scarlet1:25 AM, June 04, 2009

    Men really haven't got a clue.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous1:36 AM, June 04, 2009

    *ponders mr.peenee's choice*

    yeah, you know what. I'm outta here. who knows what your "situashe" is going to produce.

    byeeee

    ReplyDelete
  8. nwtrunner2:05 AM, June 04, 2009

    And I came here looking for more tit pictures....

    Are there Satanic Cramps From Heaven as well as from Hell?

    Just curious.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Damien2:22 AM, June 04, 2009

    Damien runs around with a big bag of salt making a circle of protection around MJ whilst simultaneously laying out electric fence.



    Buh-Bye !

    ReplyDelete
  10. Vicus Scurra4:44 AM, June 04, 2009

    You may not want any visitors, but you have been visited by the Lords of Karma. Stop showing this filth and do some nice articles about keeping your house clean, or some recipes, or some moderate political comment.
    This is not the first time that I have had to warn you about this.

    ReplyDelete
  11. LẌ5:49 AM, June 04, 2009

    [tiptoes in]

    [fluffs pillows]

    [tiptoes out]

    ReplyDelete
  12. Damien5:52 AM, June 04, 2009

    Bloody hell xl you're brave !

    ReplyDelete
  13. LẌ8:27 AM, June 04, 2009

    @ Damien NZ

    [whispers]
    Not at all, mate. I've still got my official pillow fluffing duties to perform.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous10:14 AM, June 04, 2009

    Drops package with Ibuprofen (against paine), Mönchspfeffer (helps) and Johanniskraut (makes happy).
    And a Duke Nukem cd.

    ReplyDelete
  15. The Mistress10:32 AM, June 04, 2009

    EROS: Quick! Somebody get an old priest and a young priest!
    The power of Christ compels you!
    The power of Christ compels you!
    The power of Christ compels you!
    I'd be angry too if someone was firing tanks at my crotch!




    You’re making my head spin!






    KEVIN: no probs MJ.
    we'll just hang around here and amuse ourselves.




    Well this was all fine and good until PEENEE came along!







    MR.PEENEE: Oh. Uhm. SO sorry, I'll...uhm... just tiptoe quietly out. Lady plumbing is not my strong suit.




    GET BACK IN HERE, PEENEE!

    Oh my. Where are my manners? Let’s start again, shall we?

    MR.PEENEE: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    You’ve successfully managed to drive Kevin away from here WITH you but all will be forgiven if you invite me to “SPARKLE, PATTY, SPARKLE!: A Gala Tribute to Academy Award® Winner Patty Duke Live In Person!” as your guest.




    


    CYBERPOOF: Well it's not easy being green




    So you’re playing Kermit the Frog to my Oscar the Grouch?

    ReplyDelete
  16. The Mistress10:33 AM, June 04, 2009

    BEAST: ****stuffs hot water bottle up Miss MJ's vest , sprinkles holy water and runs like hell****




    Do you see that tampon in my hand, Beast?

    *flings tampon at Beast’s head*







    SCARLET: Men really haven't got a clue.




    Shouldn’t that be a “Cluedo”?






    KEVIN: *ponders mr.peenee's choice*
    yeah, you know what. I'm outta here. who knows what your "situashe" is going to produce.
    byeeee




    Damn that PEENEE!






    NWT: And I came here looking for more tit pictures....
    Are there Satanic Cramps From Heaven as well as from Hell?
    Just curious.




    Apparently Beast has arranged for divine intervention with his vial of holy water and Eroswings with his exorcism.

    Come back on Titty Tuesday if it’s boobage you seek.

    ReplyDelete
  17. The Mistress10:34 AM, June 04, 2009

    DAMIEN: Damien runs around with a big bag of salt making a circle of protection around MJ whilst simultaneously laying out electric fence.
    Buh-Bye !




    It sounds more like you’re attempting to eradicate garden slugs!






    VICUS: You may not want any visitors, but you have been visited by the Lords of Karma. Stop showing this filth and do some nice articles about keeping your house clean, or some recipes, or some moderate political comment.
    This is not the first time that I have had to warn you about this.




    Mistress MJ has turned all the Lords of Karma into Houseboys.

    They are scrubbing her floors and preparing her tea as we speak.







    XL & DAMIEN: XL is Mistress MJ’s Official Pillow Fluffer.

    Everyone is eventually assigned a role around here and XL performs his task admirably.

    Mistress MJ has not yet decided how best to put Damien to use.

    Suggestions welcome.







    MAGO: Drops package with Ibuprofen (against paine), Mönchspfeffer (helps) and Johanniskraut (makes happy).
    And a Duke Nukem cd.




    YOU are all the Johanniskraut a girl could want.

    Now read me another story in Deutsch, bitte.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Leah10:35 AM, June 04, 2009

    Me too, MJ, me too.

    You know how girls in sorority houses get their periods in synch? Do you think that's happening here on the interwebs?

    what a scary thought.

    ReplyDelete
  19. The Mistress10:39 AM, June 04, 2009

    LEAH: Me too, MJ, me too.
    You know how girls in sorority houses get their periods in synch? Do you think that's happening here on the interwebs?
    what a scary thought.




    What a coincidence!...

    BEAST is having his period too!

    *flings economy-size box of Kotex at Leah*

    ReplyDelete
  20. garfer10:40 AM, June 04, 2009

    Fair dos.

    I'm off for a nice curry.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous10:41 AM, June 04, 2009

    Das arme Mädchen

    http://gutenberg.spiegel.de/?id=5&xid=969&kapitel=45&cHash=b2042df08bdasarmem#gb_found

    ReplyDelete
  22. Heff10:43 AM, June 04, 2009

    MJ, I always thought you WERE a satanic cramp....

    ReplyDelete
  23. The Mistress10:53 AM, June 04, 2009

    MAGO: Das arme Mädchen




    I’m listening.





    GARFY: Fair dos.
    I'm off for a nice curry.




    Stay away from Ma Beastie’s Chickpea Curry being served at Café C in Dorchester.

    You’ll get the most foul case of explosive diarrhea.






    HEFF: MJ, I always thought you WERE a satanic cramp....




    *stomps on Heff…careful NOT to remove stiletto heels beforehand*

    ReplyDelete
  24. savannah11:37 AM, June 04, 2009

    Mistress MJ is not welcoming visitors today.

    seems y'all already have a visitor, sugar! xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous12:37 PM, June 04, 2009

    "Es war einmal ein armes, kleines Mädchen, dem war Vater und Mutter gestorben, es hatte kein Haus mehr, in dem es wohnen, und kein Bett mehr, in dem es schlafen konnte, und nichts mehr auf der Welt, als die Kleider, die es auf dem Leibe trug, und ein Stückchen Brot in der Hand, das ihm ein Mitleidiger geschenkt hatte; es war aber gar fromm und gut."

    ReplyDelete
  26. The Mistress1:16 PM, June 04, 2009

    SAVANNAH: Mistress MJ is not welcoming visitors today.
    seems y'all already have a visitor, sugar! xoxoxo




    I wondered who would be first with that quip.

    *allows Savannah to mix me a cocktail*



    MAGO: … Stückchen Brot in der Hand,,,,




    Are you sure that’s a Stückchen Brot in mein Hand?

    Perhaps it’s a “Brotleib”?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous1:42 PM, June 04, 2009

    "Girl you thought it was a man, but it only was a MUFFIN!"
    F.Z.

    (have to sleep now, the nightshift is looming ... urg)

    ReplyDelete
  28. ayeM8y1:54 PM, June 04, 2009

    Perhaps a visit to the imperial embalmers might assuage the Divine one’s discomfort? Meanwhile Pirate is flogging the slaves and readying the royal barge for Mistresses migration to the summer palace.

    ReplyDelete
  29. The Mistress2:09 PM, June 04, 2009

    MAGO: "Girl you thought it was a man, but it only was a MUFFIN!"
    F.Z.
    (have to sleep now, the nightshift is looming ... urg)




    And the crux of the biscuit…

    Gute Nacht, Herr Mago.




    AYEM8Y: Perhaps a visit to the imperial embalmers might assuage the Divine one’s discomfort? Meanwhile Pirate is flogging the slaves and readying the royal barge for Mistresses migration to the summer palace.




    Please assure that my fan bearers are in place.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Jenny2:34 PM, June 04, 2009

    at least you have access to those FABULOUS 222's.

    ReplyDelete
  31. The Mistress2:43 PM, June 04, 2009

    BOXER: at least you have access to those FABULOUS 222's.




    Fat lot of good THOSE do.

    Until they invent chewable Morphine, Mistress MJ suffers…

    BUT NOT IN SILENCE!

    ReplyDelete
  32. savannah3:25 PM, June 04, 2009

    of course, it had to be me, sugar! i'm old and barren now! :~D xoxoxo

    *setting a tall tequila sunrise next to you*

    (y'all have to drink a different drink during these trying times, honey!)

    ReplyDelete
  33. KAZ4:24 PM, June 04, 2009

    Ther are advantages to being 'of a certain age'.

    ReplyDelete
  34. INNER VOICES5:51 PM, June 04, 2009

    *unloads custom built automatic tampon launcher in mj front yard*

    its even got night vision to help you keep away the rabble when you are "resting"...

    *waters plants before turning it on*

    ReplyDelete
  35. LaDivaCucina6:05 PM, June 04, 2009

    MJ, you have such a good time entertaining yourself don't you?!! I went to Heff's cuz I felt like slummin' Hey, even Divas slum every once in a while! I'm here aren't I?!

    What's with all the uncut no hair bears?

    ReplyDelete
  36. The Mistress9:53 PM, June 04, 2009

    SAVANNAH: of course, it had to be me, sugar! i'm old and barren now! :~D xoxoxo
    *setting a tall tequila sunrise next to you*
    (y'all have to drink a different drink during these trying times, honey!)




    Tequila sunrise?

    *cues the Eagles and calls for another round*







    KAZ: Ther are advantages to being 'of a certain age'.




    Discount days at Tesco?






    VOICES: *unloads custom built automatic tampon launcher in mj front yard*
    its even got night vision to help you keep away the rabble when you are "resting"...
    *waters plants before turning it on*




    Gimme that Tampon Shooter.






    LaDivaCUCINA: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    Both you AND Mr. Peenee all on one day?

    This is truly a red letter day!


    MJ, you have such a good time entertaining yourself don't you?!! I went to Heff's cuz I felt like slummin' Hey, even Divas slum every once in a while! I'm here aren't I?!




    You were slummin’ it at Heff’s but by visiting Infomaniac you have hit rock bottom.





    What's with all the uncut no hair bears?




    It takes all kinds here on Infomaniac.

    Be patient and observe.


    Oh and did you notice that Anonymous Boxer is one of my bitches?

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anonymous10:14 PM, June 04, 2009

    MJ , I love redwings, did you not know that. Why have you not been to my blog, taking my stellotos off to stroke your back with my tongue.

    ReplyDelete
  38. The Mistress10:19 PM, June 04, 2009

    BAMATRAV: Mistress MJ is a busy woman.

    She has just returned from work, she has SATANIC CRAMPS FROM HELL and she has just put up a new post.

    She cannot be everywhere at once, you know!

    ReplyDelete
  39. LaDivaCucina10:28 AM, June 05, 2009

    LOL!!! Damn girl your comments are ALWAYS sure to put a smile on me gob! Have a good weekend, dear! xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  40. The Mistress10:42 AM, June 05, 2009

    LaDivaCUCINA: See you in the gutter.

    ReplyDelete

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