Monday, June 22, 2009

Walk a Mile in My Jimmy Choos

Imagine, for a moment, that you are Mistress MJ.



Tell us about a typical day in your life if you were in her shoes.
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42 comments:

  1. jason10:25 PM, June 21, 2009

    Have a drink.
    Look hot.
    Slap a bitch.
    Have a drink.
    Slap another bitch.
    Take a nap.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Mistress10:31 PM, June 21, 2009

    JASON: Have a drink.
    Look hot.
    Slap a bitch.
    Have a drink.
    Slap another bitch.
    Take a nap.

    How uncanny.

    It’s like you’re sashaying about in my Roger Viviers.

    Work it, girlfriend!

    ReplyDelete
  3. savannah10:35 PM, June 21, 2009

    so, i'm second? again?

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. LẌ10:40 PM, June 21, 2009

    If I were in The Mistress' shoes, it would be like Chinese foot binding.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Mistress10:44 PM, June 21, 2009

    SAVANNAH: so, i'm second? again?

    Unlike last night, at least you were awake for this one.

    XL: If I were in The Mistress' shoes, it would be like Chinese foot binding.

    She would not be able to move and thus would require XL to fluff her pillows all day.

    Is this your way of asking for overtime?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ponita in Real Life10:46 PM, June 21, 2009

    Ow, owow, ow OW! XL, that is just plain barbaric! However, I would share the same fate as I am quite certain MJ wears about a size 4... and I have 10 AA's stuck to the bottom on my legs.

    I would, however, enjoy some of the pillow fluffing and foot massages that Mistress MJ receives... along with the drinks, of course!

    The flaming uterus, she can keep to herself, though. I am so done with that part of life!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jenny12:01 AM, June 22, 2009

    I would be making the houseboys pour me drinks while I looked around for a more comfy pair of shoes.

    ReplyDelete
  8. CyberPete2:05 AM, June 22, 2009

    You are kidding right?

    You wouldn't let anyone wear your Jimmy Choos. Not
    ever.

    ReplyDelete
  9. KAZ2:09 AM, June 22, 2009

    Er - those people in the picture MJ - they seem to have all their clothes on.
    Are you well dear?

    ReplyDelete
  10. BEAST2:11 AM, June 22, 2009

    Did you know Jimmy Choo is shortly to launch a bargain basement range of shoes for Asda(Thats Walmart to you heathen colonials).
    Chavs and Trailer trash will soon be sashaying along with you.
    Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HA

    ReplyDelete
  11. CyberPete2:47 AM, June 22, 2009

    You are so mean Beastie!

    I LOVE YOU!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Damien5:00 AM, June 22, 2009

    Morning
    Awake late - be showered and pampered by houseboys.
    Have first cocktail.

    Midday
    Luncheon
    Be massaged and pampered by houseboys.
    Have another cocktail.

    Afternoon
    Have mani/pedi and be pampered by houseboys.
    Move to lounge by the pool.
    Have another cocktail.

    Evening
    Dine with gorgeous people.
    Be served and pampered by the houseboys.
    Kick gorgeous people out.
    Have another cocktail.
    Have houseboys do their "duty".

    Sleep in repose.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Vicus Scurra5:06 AM, June 22, 2009

    I am in your shoes. They are very uncomfortable.

    And cheap.

    This liberty bodice isn't going to stay on too much longer, either.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Geoff6:15 AM, June 22, 2009

    Jimmy Choo was born to be a cobbler.

    ReplyDelete
  15. tony6:32 AM, June 22, 2009

    I wouldnt wear them!I would sit & fondle & Smell 'em.....;

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lulu LaBonne7:24 AM, June 22, 2009

    I would get no more than a big toe in your shoes so Would have to put my feet up and eat cake all day

    ReplyDelete
  17. savannah8:03 AM, June 22, 2009

    how did you know? xoxox

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ms Scarlet8:06 AM, June 22, 2009

    I would use your credit card a lot. And I would keep the shoes in exchange for my Beavers.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  19. The Mistress11:31 AM, June 22, 2009

    PONITA: Ow, owow, ow OW! XL, that is just plain barbaric! However, I would share the same fate as I am quite certain MJ wears about a size 4... and I have 10 AA's stuck to the bottom on my legs.
    I would, however, enjoy some of the pillow fluffing and foot massages that Mistress MJ receives... along with the drinks, of course!
    The flaming uterus, she can keep to herself, though. I am so done with that part of life!

    Mistress MJ takes a size 6 US/Canada Womens.
    Or size 3 UK Womens.
    Or Size 36 European.

    Just in case you want to present me with the gift of shoes.

    And none of your ugly ass Crocs, thank you very much.


    BOXER: I would be making the houseboys pour me drinks while I looked around for a more comfy pair of shoes.

    The Choos are perfectly comfortable if you’re being served cocktails and never have to get up from your Rococo chaise.

    CYBERPOOF: You are kidding right?
    You wouldn't let anyone wear your Jimmy Choos. Not
    ever.

    Not even Kaz with her equally petite feet.

    I bet Kaz’s feet are too wide to fit into my shoes anyway.

    KAZ: Er - those people in the picture MJ - they seem to have all their clothes on.
    Are you well dear?

    Now that you mention it, I am feeling a little peaky.

    ReplyDelete
  20. The Mistress11:31 AM, June 22, 2009

    BEAST: Did you know Jimmy Choo is shortly to launch a bargain basement range of shoes for Asda(Thats Walmart to you heathen colonials).
    Chavs and Trailer trash will soon be sashaying along with you.
    Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HA

    We hereby sentence you to wear a Burberry baseball cap from here to eternity.

    We shall laugh as you are publically scoffed at in the streets.

    And think of how it will clash with that horrid fireside rug of yours!


    CYBERPOOF: You are so mean Beastie!
    I LOVE YOU!

    *bitch slaps CyberPoof*

    ReplyDelete
  21. The Mistress11:32 AM, June 22, 2009

    DAMIEN: Morning
    Awake late - be showered and pampered by houseboys.
    Have first cocktail.

    Midday
    Luncheon
    Be massaged and pampered by houseboys.
    Have another cocktail.

    Afternoon
    Have mani/pedi and be pampered by houseboys.
    Move to lounge by the pool.
    Have another cocktail.

    Evening
    Dine with gorgeous people.
    Be served and pampered by the houseboys.
    Kick gorgeous people out.
    Have another cocktail.
    Have houseboys do their "duty".

    Sleep in repose.

    Amazingly spot on!

    Just yesterday Mistress MJ joined acquaintances for breakfast at a restaurant and ordered a cocktail at breakfast.

    Everyone else ordered coffee.

    There were hushed mumblings I can assure you.

    ReplyDelete
  22. The Mistress11:33 AM, June 22, 2009

    VICUS: I am in your shoes. They are very uncomfortable.
    And cheap.
    This liberty bodice isn't going to stay on too much longer, either.

    Face it.

    You’ll never fill out that bodice the way I do.

    GEOFF: Jimmy Choo was born to be a cobbler.

    We’re assuming you mean that in the negative British sense of the word?

    TONY: I wouldnt wear them!I would sit & fondle & Smell 'em.....;

    Mistress MJ has done just that on many occasions.

    Or did you mean you wanted to sit and fondle and smell Mistress MJ’s shoes, specifically?

    LULU: I would get no more than a big toe in your shoes so Would have to put my feet up and eat cake all day

    Did someone mention cake?

    SAVANNAH: how did you know? xoxox

    Your life is an open book, er, blog.

    SCARLET: I would use your credit card a lot. And I would keep the shoes in exchange for my Beavers.

    Your Beavers are a fashion crime and we’re making a citizen’s arrest.

    ReplyDelete
  23. CyberPete12:48 PM, June 22, 2009

    I am sure she can't. Not if she has to wear those hideous Doc Martins.

    ReplyDelete
  24. eroswings1:16 PM, June 22, 2009

    If I were in your shoes, the first thing I'd do is buy new shoes! Bigger size and comfortable. Perhaps some hiking boots or beach sandals.

    Then I'd instruct the help to wash the clothes--they most likely went thru the wardrobe to play dress up. Bastards! Good help is so hard to find.

    Finally, have a drink and start looking for nekkid old men fotos to satisfy the insatiable hunger of those perverted Infomaniac bitches.

    ReplyDelete
  25. The Mistress1:37 PM, June 22, 2009

    CYBERPOOF: I am sure she can't. Not if she has to wear those hideous Doc Martins.

    You DO realize that Mistress MJ owns a pair of Docs as well, don’t you?

    *wonders about Kaz’s choice of footwear for Spain*

    EROS: If I were in your shoes, the first thing I'd do is buy new shoes! Bigger size and comfortable. Perhaps some hiking boots or beach sandals.
    Then I'd instruct the help to wash the clothes--they most likely went thru the wardrobe to play dress up. Bastards! Good help is so hard to find.
    Finally, have a drink and start looking for nekkid old men fotos to satisfy the insatiable hunger of those perverted Infomaniac bitches.

    Why should Mistress MJ get hiking boots or beach sandals when she is carried everywhere by sedan chair?

    It’s true what you say about the help playing dress-up…a few of the houseboys have stretched my stockings beyond repair!

    Lastly, you can rest assured that the nekkid old men foto well will never dry up.

    ReplyDelete
  26. CyberPete2:36 PM, June 22, 2009

    I wasn't aware, no.

    That doesn't make them any less hideous though.
    Pox on docs!

    ReplyDelete
  27. garfer4:13 PM, June 22, 2009

    Drink a bottle of Jamesons and fall over. That's about it really.

    The house boys will, of course, clean up the mes.

    ReplyDelete
  28. The Mistress4:50 PM, June 22, 2009

    CYBERPOOF: I wasn't aware, no.
    That doesn't make them any less hideous though.
    Pox on docs!

    *leaves imprint of Docs on CyberPoof’s arse*

    GARFY: Drink a bottle of Jamesons and fall over. That's about it really.
    The house boys will, of course, clean up the mes.

    You have insider information.

    Of course, it only happened a time or two.

    *cough*

    ReplyDelete
  29. Ms Scarlet5:43 PM, June 22, 2009

    ...the burberry baseball cap was a cruel idea [snigger]...
    Sx
    [DM's are cool]

    ReplyDelete
  30. The Mistress6:08 PM, June 22, 2009

    SCARLET: ...the burberry baseball cap was a cruel idea [snigger]...

    We must refer you to a previous post entitled Burberry Gone Bad.

    It’s right up there with The Plaid Room.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Old Knudsen6:34 PM, June 22, 2009

    Spend yet another day at the STD clinic.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Manuel6:42 PM, June 22, 2009

    Manuel has returned.....rejoice!

    http://www.coddlepot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  33. The Mistress6:53 PM, June 22, 2009

    KNUDSEN: Spend yet another day at the STD clinic.

    The clinic they named after you.

    MANUEL: Manuel has returned.....rejoice!

    Yay!

    But how do we know which entries were written by YOU?

    ReplyDelete
  34. Anonymous10:36 AM, June 23, 2009

    Last time I was on high heels I was pretty high. And crashed. I'll stay with my size ten deep sea divers boots.
    Anyway a day in the Mistress' shoes would involve a lot of dreaming, Phantasey and imagination - I am not sure whether I could stand this!

    ReplyDelete
  35. The Mistress12:15 PM, June 23, 2009

    MAGO: Last time I was on high heels I was pretty high. And crashed. I'll stay with my size ten deep sea divers boots.
    Anyway a day in the Mistress' shoes would involve a lot of dreaming, Phantasey and imagination - I am not sure whether I could stand this!

    We are strangely aroused by the thought of you high in high heels.

    As for Mistress MJ’s Phantesey life, it is indeed heady stuff and likely to topple you off your deep sea divers boots.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Anonymous3:18 PM, June 23, 2009

    In fact I have very nice legs.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Manuel8:43 PM, June 23, 2009

    I post on Tuesdays.....and other times.....but mainly tuesdays....

    ReplyDelete
  38. The Mistress9:26 PM, June 23, 2009

    MAGO: In fact I have very nice legs.

    Would you like Mistress MJ to shave them?

    MANUEL: I post on Tuesdays.....and other times.....but mainly tuesdays....

    Then TUESDAY is my GOOD NEWS day!

    ReplyDelete
  39. ayeM8y10:43 PM, June 23, 2009

    Mean Dirty Pirate slips on Mistresses Jimmy Choos and clicks heels together three times and wonders why they don’t work and also why they are so big and roomy?

    ReplyDelete
  40. The Mistress10:52 PM, June 23, 2009

    AYEM8Y: Mean Dirty Pirate slips on Mistresses Jimmy Choos and clicks heels together three times and wonders why they don’t work and also why they are so big and roomy?

    You really are asking for a good bitch slapping.

    *inserts stilettoed heel into Mean Dirty Pirate’s well-lubed coin slot instead and makes him walk the plank*

    ReplyDelete
  41. Anonymous1:22 AM, June 24, 2009

    NO waxing.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Istvanski8:11 AM, June 27, 2009

    High Heels? I'd be attending to my corns and bunions.

    ReplyDelete

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