Saturday, February 07, 2009

You Gotta Work It

Mistress MJ has summoned Mago (aka Franconia Man) to spend the day massaging her exquisite feet.

She is aware that this will raise petty jealousies in some of the Women of Infomaniac.

To maintain the peace around here, Alan Rickman is inviting you womenfolk into his boudoir…

As for the rest of you, you look like you could lose a few pounds so so why don’t you visit the Infomaniac Gymnasium?

Classes are now in session.

Work it, bitches.


  1. Okay, now I have to go and actually read the post....

  2. No hint of jealousy from this reader.... Footwear just doesn't do it for me.

    Rickman is okay.... I would much prefer Fammy's boudoir, but I do believe he has fecked off to the UK this weekend.

    Would be rather uncomfortable to exercise with all those stays and garters.... might as well just take them all off.

  3. Guess I get first through fourth, don't I?

    hee hee!

  4. Ponita, you bitch! Where are the pic's of Thunder in the giant underwear?? You're too busy beating me to the first spot, aren't you?

    I'll take Mago over AR anyday. He's kind of creepy.

  5. Ooooo, them's fightin' words, HoodChick!

    MJ has those photos in her hot little hands... it is now up to her to do with them as she wishes.

    So there.

    Yeah, Mago is rather dapper looking, isn't he?

  6. When does Mago have to return the tux to the rental place?

  7. That's no rental. Mago OWNS that tux!

  8. Is there an all male class at the "Infomaniac Gymasium" (whatever that is)?

    I'm ready to work it. Bitch.

  9. Is it just me, or does it look like Miss MJ has some extra baggage in those pants of hers?

  10. Gymnasia are the haunt of meat heads and sweaty people.

    If you want me I'll be at the bar.

  11. and a one...and a two...and a...

  12. I am at peace with Alan Rickman. Thank you.

  13. Wait, now I have to share my imaginary Alan Rickman love shack with all these young upstarts?

    Okay, fine. My delusion of reference can be expanded to fit...

  14. See how phenomenological it all is?

  15. You can have Alan - I'll settle for Garfer.

  16. I hated that film Truly Madly Awful. Has he ever been in anything good?

  17. Love Actually was quite dreadful too Geoff - just to mention another sucky Alan Rickman movie.

  18. PONITA & HOODCHICK: Are you having a catfight or not?

    Please make clear your intentions.

    SAVANNAH: Just as Canadians are born knowing how to snowshoe, southerners are born knowing how to swoon.

    XL: See comment below yours by HoodChick.

    HOODCHICK: Franconia Man cuts a dashing figure in his monkey suit.

  19. CYBERPOOF: A gymnasium is an indoor facility for physical fitness and sport, complete with weights, etc.

    Think of it as a fitness centre.

    Or as Garfer says, “the haunt of meat heads and sweaty people.”

    Shall we direct you to the steam room?

    That “extra baggage” in my pants is a spare hip flask.

    GARFY: It is precisely your sort who we are targeting to join the Infomaniac Gymnasium.

    Those who have grown fat and pasty on a diet of Tunnocks Teacakes.

    DAISY: Feel the burn.

    SCARLET: What’s that you say?

    You want a piece of Alan Rickman?

  20. LEAH: It’s all down to you for starting this Alan Rickman affair in the first place.

    As I recall, you wrote about your insatiable lust for him here.

    In a nutshell, your warped desire for his “jowly frown” and his ability to “top from the bottom”.

    KAZ: Has Garfer spiked your teacakes?

    GEOFF: Perhaps Leah is better suited to respond to your question.

    CYBERPOOF: Sucky?

    Well Leah did mention his “vampiric smile” in her ode of lust to him.

  21. As I already have a gymnasium membership and Alan rickman is the hammiest of hammy actors I shall take the weekend off

  22. I feel so exposed ... used ... but in this tough times one has to grow hard and wear the full armour of god to stop the spread of evil.
    What contain these little bottles on the board in Rickman's boudoir?

  23. Whenever I see AR the scene that pops into my mind is the spittle spewing 'I'll cut yer heart out with a spewwwn' from Robin Hood: Prince of I'm such a big star I don't have to learn an English accent.

  24. BEAST: I’ve had it up to here with you anyway.

    Although if you pee my name in the snow, all will be forgiven.

    MAGO: Shut up and service me.

    Those tiny bottles on his headboard contain Alan Rickman’s mojo.

    HOODCHICK: Funny you should mention the spoon scene.

    Did you know that Leah likes to eat Nutella from the jar with a gigantic serving spoon?

  25. I do believe those are tiny bottles of Barcardi rum.... guess AR likes to tipple just a little bit in his boudoir.

  26. does your gym offer clean towels?

  27. PONITA: And he has an economy-sized jar of Nutella in his boudoir for special occasions.

    Doesn’t he, Leah?

    BOXER: Yes, we do offer clean towels.

    However, we cannot guarantee their freshness as BEAST is continually sneaking about and wiping his knob on them.

  28. Rickman was awesome as Hans Gruber in Die Hard, Dr Lazarus in Galaxy Quest, and of course his over-the-top Sherriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood basically rescued the movie..since everyone else was just phoning it in.

    I am deeply appreciative of your decision to share the Eisenhowerian Porn in lieu of the Panis & Penis *has shower's all so squeaky clean and retrolicious. Oh to have lived back in the good old days when when alcoholic beverages were routinely served in office buildings, you could smoke in restaurants, and Hos & Bitches were referred to as Call Girls.

    die waren die Tage mein Freund

  29. Rickman spent all of last winter in my boudoir - I won't spend a moment longer with him and his multi-personalities - I've got Hugh Grant tied up in the boudoir these days.

  30. @ Lulu--while Alan was tied up in your boudoir, I was tied up in wonder I was kept waiting...

  31. I know what a gymnasium is you dummy. You made a typo in your post.

  32. DONN: Since you speak German, could you please instruct Mago to work it harder?

    Danke sehr.


    LULU & LEAH: Tramps, both of you.

    Your names together up in lights would make for a fabulous exotic dance team.

    CYBERPOOF: Dang. I’ll correct it later.

  33. Is that a waspie set like in the 70s? I just wondered....

  34. Warm towels, ice water, brushes, the scents of Arabia, unguentum Aegyptiacum ... the shoes get jealous on the fine silk stockings that are allowed to wrap around this delicate anatomy, pumps and slippers stand entrenched in bitter rivalry, smiling sits the snow boot, call them happy the little suckers ...

  35. So is Mago really Hans Gruber cos he rubs feet?
    I will throw him off Nakatomy plaza, yippie ki aye lad!

  36. MUTLEY: It’s a waspie set of some sort.

    I know you’ve never seen a woman pee so I’m assuming you’ve never seen a real woman in a waspie set either.

    You might ask Ms. Nations if she will show you her “two finger” pee method.

    MAGO: You may sleep at my feet, if you wish.

    KNUDSEN: I’m keeping Hans, er, I mean Mago, away from the window ledge.

    SAVANNAH: Are you swooning again?

    *pulls out fainting couch*

  37. RICH: Excuse me Rich but we are finished here for the night.

    Move along to the next post.

    *bloody latecomers*

  38. Bill Nighy is better than Rickman, so I'll have him instead.

  39. SCARLET: Have you had Bill Nighy?

    I'll bet you have.

  40. Ey Soren, is there a green-eyed monster slowly awakening?

  41. MAGO: Knudsen isn't green with envy.

    He's just eaten a dodgy curry.