Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Tiebreaker – Teen Angst Competition

A tiebreaker must be held as a result of multiple correct answers to yesterday’s contest.

The mystery teen comes to us all the way from Norwich, England.

It’s Inexplicable DeVice (IVD)!

IVD today

IVD the teen

The following on-the-ball bitches guessed IVD correctly: Savannah, Mago, Kaz, CyberPete and Leah.

In order to break the tie, here’s what we want the above-named people to do:

Tell us more about IVD’s teen pic.

You have creative license to say whatever you want to say but here are some suggestions, if you need them, to get you started…

What (if anything) is IVD thinking? What has he been doing prior to having his photo taken? Is he hatching a cunning plan? Who is responsible for the décor? Why are his lips rouged? Who took the photograph? Were sexual favours involved? Was he in fact getting any at that age?

Dream up a scenario for teenage IVD and tell us all about it.

Mistress MJ will pick her fave story at the end of the day and the winner will appear in Wednesday’s post.

Note: Anyone may leave a comment and/or a storyline but the contest is between Savannah, Mago, Kaz, CyberPete and Leah.


  1. No, I'm the winner! FIRSTY!!!

  2. *sticks out foot and trips Boxer*


  3. His lips are that red from drinking too much cherry koolaid.

    Or kissing a girl vigorously....

    Or chewing on it in apprehension as a girl smiled at him, not knowing what to do with the hormones raging in his pubescent body.

  4. I think we can safely say that kissing girls is definitely *not* the reason for my full, red, pouty lips!

    Good guessing all you winners.

  5. Clearly IDV is at his first customers home. Donna Summer blaring out of the boombox in the corner. The dreadful red carpet and indescribably ugly curtains setting the mood for what's to come later. Socks and leather harness model shots and a fat bald man fit for Filthy Friday.

    His lips being raped by this closeted, inexperienced fatso. IDV obviously thinking about the £25 and calmes his nerves with a bottle of gin and tonic he brought from home.

    That advert in Boytoy/Toyboy sure paid off.


  6. Oh and the ringlets. The punter requested Mr Scarlett.

  7. After drinking a full bottle of Ribena, IVD gazes adoringly at his interior decorator who he will later come to know as Cyberpete.
    They renamed themselves 'Colin and Justin' and went on to get their revenge on the rest of the world.

  8. I thought at first that it was a spot-the-difference compo and spent half an hour fruitlessly (ha!) trying to find them.

  9. Uh oh, not sure I can top Cyberpete. I'll be back when I have a 'mo.

  10. £25? Oh you mean before he handed back £24 in change?

    Once a cheap tart, always a cheap tart.

  11. IVD kissing girls?


    Has hell frozen over?

    *passes out from laffing fit but not before flinging Ribena bottle at Piggy*

  12. i am honored to be in such stellar company...BUT, i guessed right FIRST, so i should win! ok, i'm over myself, i'll be back with my essay, ma'am!


  13. The pale Byronic hero folded his long legs and knotted his large hands. Armed with patience he was ready to survive his quarterly visit to aunt Olga and uncle Fjodor. "Cheer up" they'd say, "have some grams of Vodka", and start to imbibe heavily the booze cousin Igor had created in his shed, before that accident. His brain was ready to absorb the images and pictures soon to appear on the stage this two-room-appartement provided - a curious passenger of life, old at fifteen: His time would come ...

  14. MAGO: The pale Byronic hero folded his long legs and knotted his large hands

    Don’t forget his freakishly bendable fingers! (scroll down to third photo)

  15. Hmhm, he'll soon discover his special abilities.

  16. that robert louis stevenson hairdo...that smoky 'come hither' glance...those scarlet, pouting lips...our lucky photographer must have found it difficult to hold the camera steady.I imagine our IDV poised godlike over the spent and panting remains of his conquest, a miniature colossus of rhodes, shining with the dewfall of his exertions...right before
    rampaging through the apartment looking for easily fenced items.

  17. Mum, can you go out to Aunty Fanny's now so I can put my knob in the hoover again. It felt good.

  18. NATIONS: You coulda been a contender.

    EMMA: Have you been spying through IVD’s window?

    BITCHES: I’m off to work again. CyberPoof and Kaz and Mago have done their bit so make sure Leah and Savannah get back here and give it a go before I get home.

  19. having just finished reading oscar wilde and realizing the kinship they shared, our young hero (because only a hero can get away with curls like that) knew that I am (he was) not young enough to know everything.

    but even at such a delicately awkward age, he knew he would always be in demand for a variety of reasons.


  20. Emmak's explanation of the lad being a clandestine Dysonite was very funny.

    However, he strikes me as being a thoughtful, strapping, lad burdoned with the knowledge that this world is overstaffed with Troglodytic idiots who wantonly display their encyclopedic ignorance of what Life is all about.

    Self assured and secure in his cosmology, even at this tender young age, he wrestles with the notion that he is trapped in a world that he never made and must make the most of it.

    In this photo, he is visibly flummoxed that he had to explain to his schoolmates that the Blake who wrote that "Corporeal Friends are Spiritual Enemies" was not the Blake Edwards of Pink Panther fame, it was William Blake.

    He is evidently all too aware that this was going to be yet another long, tedious, evening.

  21. Even at a delicate young age IVD looked slutty !

  22. * studiously ignores Piggy's rantings *

    Bwah hah hah hah ha! The juxtaposition of Donn's and BEAST's comments almost had me tiddling myself in mirth!

  23. Awwww, man!

    I missed out on the competition...I was passed out behind the couch.

  24. All those years and the poor boy still didn't learn how to dress properly.

    Was it a «tried to go for a Gaultier look and ended up with looking like one of Disney's Beagle boys» attempt?

    Think he would look better undress...

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  26. Oh no, I just read Mago's entry--obviously great minds think alike.

    I concede to better men!

  27. Leah - come back with Liver and Onions - Seriously! Or do better.

  28. *ponders SAVANNAH’s entry and adds it to the pile along with CyberPoof’s and Kaz’s and Mago’s*

    Too bad you weren’t around yesterday to qualify, DONN!

    Once a slut, always a slut, BEAST. Now get my underpants off your head.

    IVD, stop diddling yourself, er, tiddling yourself.

    *props up a hungover RANDOM CHICK and moves her onto the couch*

    IVD would most certainly NOT look better undressed, FABULASTIC. We’ve all seen his warty wand and you don’t want to know where it’s been.

    LEAH: Listen to Mago.

    Are you going to give us a tiebreaker or not?


  29. tiddling himself?


    dang. just.....dang.

    in other news, beast makes an important observation...the sweet thing in the unfortunate chair there flat be lookin' SLUTTAY. that 'come hither' look is making my screen SMOKE.

  30. ...swear to God, IDV, you were scan'lus!! be still my heart! XX!

  31. NATIONS: Did you notice the length of his fingers?


  32. TIME'S UP!

    *runs off to decide on the winner*

  33. Sorry Mistress! I'm dealing with a revoltingly ill old dog and so will have to bow out--and as my original entry seemed like I was plagiarizing Mago, LOL--proceed without me people!

  34. LEAH: There will be more contests.

    Thanks for letting us know.

    Poor old doggie.