Thursday, February 12, 2009

Infomaniac House of Beauty

Welcome to the Infomaniac House of Beauty!

Today we’re booking appointments for a trim…




Staff are standing by to take your calls…

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44 comments:

  1. Peevish McSnark6:18 PM, February 11, 2009

    First! Nice thatch job.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Billy6:30 PM, February 11, 2009

    French manicure please.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous6:38 PM, February 11, 2009

    SCHLÜMPFE ???

    Caramba ...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ponita in Real Life7:04 PM, February 11, 2009

    She looks a might chilled, now that she has been dethatched.

    Even the dethatchers are blue with the cold!

    Someone turn the heat up!

    Fourth!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Manuel7:06 PM, February 11, 2009

    get the shears out......I have issues......hairy issues....I once had a girlfriend who offerd to bpay to have my body hair electronically removed......it didn't work out with us.....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ponita in Real Life7:19 PM, February 11, 2009

    Manuel, I have horse clippers.... I have body clipped horses.... MJ could take pics while I clip yours and do a lovely post here for all to see. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous7:32 PM, February 11, 2009

    With pleasure Aphrodite received the lovable offering

    of the small bonnet which wound the head of Samyta:

    It's, really, of exquisite workmanship and it gently smells of the nectar

    with which the goddess sprinkles the handsome Adonis.

    -----------
    The Greek text speaks of a "Locke", a twirl maybe ...
    (http://www.locriantica.it/english/figures/nossis.htm)

    Mary Quandt had her's in the form of a heart.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Leah7:51 PM, February 11, 2009

    @mago--I thought they were "Schtroumpf"? Or maybe I made that up. At any rate, the dear little things have no business around those lady parts.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous8:05 PM, February 11, 2009

    "Schtr(o)umpf" is the original Belgian / French name. In Germany they are known as "Schlümpfe", single "der Schlumpf". It was invented by the German publisher, Kauka, who's name shall be dis-honoured in eternity for all the crimes he committed to the fine art of comic-strip by "translating", "re-arranging" and what not: He shall burn in hell.

    Footnote: "Strumpf" in German means "sock" or "socks".

    ReplyDelete
  10. savannah8:53 PM, February 11, 2009

    ouchouchouch!!!

    just the thought of that stuff growing back...owieeeee, owieeee, owieeee!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous9:04 PM, February 11, 2009

    Smurfs were my youth obsession. I have about 3000 of them...never saw them doing that... but then again we never know what a smurf does when no one is looking.

    (in Portuguese they were called Estrumfe, that is the same sound as the original French name)

    ReplyDelete
  12. LẌ9:55 PM, February 11, 2009

    What Smurfs?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Jenny10:34 PM, February 11, 2009

    *stares at picture*

    is it Friday already?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ponita in Real Life10:38 PM, February 11, 2009

    If it is Friday, this marks a turning point of not having photos of fat old nekkid men burning our retinas.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Romeo Morningwood12:19 AM, February 12, 2009

    Two thangs about Brazil come to mined;
    one, a poppler proceedyer what fancy city-Ladies do to thayer whiskers afore puttin' on itsy-bitsy yeller polkee-dot beekeenees,
    and two,
    the inviwrongmental problam of nativefellers deforestatin the jungall soes that thay can commence growin wacky tabbacky or cokayn.

    So how do you say Smurfs in Brazilyan?

    ReplyDelete
  16. cher1:36 AM, February 12, 2009

    Oh Smurfett is gonna be pissed.

    ReplyDelete
  17. The Mistress1:40 AM, February 12, 2009

    PEEVISH: That was a very dignified “first”.

    A smidgeon of excitement as noted by the exclamation point but no use of upper case letters or unnecessary boasting or the one-upmanship so common ‘round these parts.

    BILLY: Mistress MJ will buff you up.

    MAGO: It’s hard to get good help these days.

    PONITA: Turn the heat up?

    This isn’t Winnipeg, you know.

    MANUEL: Your arse is sacred.

    Don’t ever let anyone pluck a hair from your glorious big hairy Irish arse.

    Thank heavens Little Miss Manuel respects the glory that is Manuel’s arse.

    ReplyDelete
  18. The Mistress1:40 AM, February 12, 2009

    PONITA: Back away from Manuel’s arse NOW!

    MAGO: Mistress MJ would like to fashion your public hair into a Mohawk.

    LEAH: I believe that Mago is trying to say that he wants you to knit a pair of socks for him.

    Are you up for it?

    MAGO: Did you know that Leah is skilled in the craft of sock-knitting?

    Perhaps she could knit a funeral pyre scene involving Kauka.

    SAVANNAH: We’ll be gentle.

    Why don’t you book an appointment and try it the Infomaniac way?

    ReplyDelete
  19. The Mistress1:42 AM, February 12, 2009

    FABULASTIC: 3000 Estrumfe?!

    Prepare me a nice Bacalhau whilst I contemplate your madness.

    XL: Mistress MJ has pillows that need fluffing.

    Pay attention!

    BOXER: Filthy Friday is cancelled this week and, due to popular demand, will be replaced with Fashion Friday.

    The people have spoken.

    PONITA: Just for that I’m gonna do an entire post dedicated to fat nekkid old men.

    Just watch me.

    BASS-ACKWARDS: Why don’t you ask your cousin Donn?

    You know…the one with the BIG BRAIN?

    CHER: She’s already got her pick of all the Smurfs in the village, the floozie!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Old Knudsen1:45 AM, February 12, 2009

    Damnit I was bush whacked!

    ReplyDelete
  21. The Mistress1:59 AM, February 12, 2009

    KNUDSEN: You had me in a half Nelson at your place.

    Payback!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Carnalis2:06 AM, February 12, 2009

    i wish my hipbones were so well defined.

    ReplyDelete
  23. CyberPete2:37 AM, February 12, 2009

    I'll take a pedicure please. And come to think of it, a manicure would be much needed too.

    ReplyDelete
  24. The Mistress2:44 AM, February 12, 2009

    CARNALIS: Trust me when I say they bruise easily.

    They've a tendency to arrive at a closed door before the rest of one's body.

    CYBERPOOF: You're in luck.

    There's a farrier on our payroll.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Inexplicable DeVice3:23 AM, February 12, 2009

    Oops! That wrong number was me.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Leah5:14 AM, February 12, 2009

    Thanks Mago for the lil history. Actually very interesting.

    And yes, I noticed the hipbones too...

    ReplyDelete
  27. Leah5:17 AM, February 12, 2009

    But still, if the only choice is the tiny-scissors-wielding-little-Socks, I think I'll hang onto my Jewfro for now, thanks anyway...

    ReplyDelete
  28. Ms Scarlet6:49 AM, February 12, 2009

    Shame. Now no-one can play in her thicket.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  29. Daisy7:17 AM, February 12, 2009

    thinking of cutting my hair today...just can't figure out if i should cut north or south? Little help?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Ponita in Real Life8:39 AM, February 12, 2009

    Mago has public hair?

    ReplyDelete
  31. Betty10:42 AM, February 12, 2009

    Do Smurfs use the pubic hair clippings to thatch the roofs of their cottages then?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anonymous10:59 AM, February 12, 2009

    Is that vagina smiling at me, or is it the medication?

    ReplyDelete
  33. The Mistress11:19 AM, February 12, 2009

    IVD: Oops! That wrong number was me.

    Who else could it have been?

    By the way, have you ever actually seen ladies bits up close other than in pictures?

    No, I don’t suppose you see much of that down at the docks.

    LEAH: Besides giving a top-notch foot massage, Mago is our resident scholar.

    Do you store your knitting needles in your JewFro?

    SCARLET: Shame. Now no-one can play in her thicket.

    From what I’ve heard, there’s plenty of room in yours.

    DAISY: thinking of cutting my hair today...just can't figure out if i should cut north or south? Little help?

    Why not let our stylists go freestyle?

    Or would you prefer a shag?…haircut, that is.

    ReplyDelete
  34. The Mistress11:20 AM, February 12, 2009

    PONITA: Ooops, er, I meant to say that.

    Everything Mago does is public…

    Foot massages, etc.

    BETTY: Do Smurfs use the pubic hair clippings to thatch the roofs of their cottages then?

    Good observation!

    Yes, they do.

    You might call it a cottage industry.

    SMUNTY: Is that vagina smiling at me, or is it the medication?

    You’re looking at it from the wrong angle.

    All vaginas sneer at the very sight of you.

    ReplyDelete
  35. KAZ11:21 AM, February 12, 2009

    This can't be right - they don't have Brazilian Smurfs - they are a European mistake.
    NB - this was before the Brits became European.

    ReplyDelete
  36. The Mistress12:18 PM, February 12, 2009

    KAZ: Would you prefer to be coiffed by the Wombles?

    ReplyDelete
  37. savannah2:27 PM, February 12, 2009

    come over for drinks, sugar! xoxox

    ReplyDelete
  38. BEAST2:37 PM, February 12, 2009

    Grrrr my comments keep dissapearing off your blog , it must be allergic to me .
    Is that IVD's front bottom ?

    ReplyDelete
  39. The Mistress2:53 PM, February 12, 2009

    SAVANNAH: I’d love to come for drinks if only I weren’t about to go out for the rest of the day.

    Rain check?

    BEAST: One would naturally assume it was IVD’s front bottom.

    However, note that it’s not as large, loose or gaping.

    ReplyDelete
  40. savannah6:12 PM, February 12, 2009

    absolutely! xoxox

    ReplyDelete
  41. Anonymous5:41 PM, February 13, 2009

    Since IT is Friday night I can give myself some licence and say the following: The actual political crisis and this picture had me thinking on something that I just want to shout out of the window just wearing my silky red robe-de-chambre:

    YES, WE CUNT!

    (Good manners will return in a moment)

    ReplyDelete
  42. The Mistress10:30 PM, February 13, 2009

    SAVANNAH: I'm drinking as I type.

    Cheers.

    FABULASTIC: Get the mouth on her!

    ReplyDelete
  43. sEa9:03 PM, February 18, 2009

    much, much too thin to be real, i dare say. no doubt the girl who defined "mons"

    ReplyDelete
  44. The Mistress9:24 PM, February 18, 2009

    SEA: *hums "I'm Your Venus"*

    ReplyDelete

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