Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Awards Ceremony

Aren’t we all a bunch of swells?

Mistress MJ believes you all deserve awards.

Create an award for yourself this very minute.

Tell us the name of your award and why you deserve it.

Then sit back and wait for cheers. Or jeers.


  1. The Pillow Fluffer Award. Known in the industry as The Fluffy.

    The Official Infomaniac Pillow Fluffer deserves it, doncha know.

  2. The greatest blogger in the world award.

    I deserve it because um I'm the greatest blogger in the world. I am also the:
    Most modest
    Most bestest looking
    Most funnier than Manuel
    Most truthful
    I have the largest penis in the blogasphere.

    I should also get:
    The Irish blog award for anything.
    Scottish blog awards for anything.
    An Oscar.
    A pair of golden globes.
    The blank cheque award from Crazy old man Gates.
    Best use of cunt in a blog.
    The what the fuck is yer problem award.
    Survived legal action and spam award.
    The kill all blogging banana eating gorilla spamming wankers award.
    The get off my lawn award.
    The I have not deleted my blog like a crazy fucker award.
    The crazy fucker award.
    The I shagged MJ and lived award.
    The I shagged FN and all I got was this STD award.
    The I invaded Leah's shaved Gaza strip award.
    The I called Mago a German award.
    The I have no blogger friends and don't know why award.

  3. Damn. I had a bunch but this guy ^^ Knudsen already won them all. Shall I take the First to Notice the Gal on the Lower Right is Pretty Hot Award?

  4. Just give me the Stachanow ...

  5. I'd be alright not making one up and just getting an Oscar.

    Best actor of course

  6. My award is the 'I Look Most Like Me' award. I think I should have retrospective wins for the past 34 years, too!

    * waits for adulation and glory *

  7. My award is "The best mental tripper award." That's right.. I trip people mentally. I'm really really good at it.

  8. Erm... actually I'll just have a nice cup of tea and a hobnob...

  9. I claim the Nobel Peace Prize. I've not thrown a wobbler for 24 hours.
    I'll share it with Christian Bale.

  10. I'd make up the anti-award-award because I don't really care for them, but the irony would choke a horse, wouldn't it?

  11. after the past two weeks...i should get the dog whisperer award...

  12. miss congeniality also called the least likely to stab you in the back award. :)

  13. I don't need one, but I think Thunder should get one for Best Bottom in Giant Underpants EVER!!!! Any other bottom that is large enough to fit those would be much too scary.

  14. I award myself the 'Errrr....' For the person most likely to walk into a room having forgotten why they went there in the fir....Where am I?

  15. XL: You’re the best fluffer in the business.

    And as I have a headache right now, I need you more than ever.

    KNUDSEN: Without a doubt, you are the Greatest Blogger in the World.

    However, your colostomy bag leaked all over the red carpet so I’m denying you access to my Golden Globes.

    And Manuel’s arse is bigger and hairier than yours so don’t expect any prizes in that department either.

    And while we’re on the topic, when are the next Knudsen Awards?

    AWKWARD: You followed Old Knudsen so you get to wipe his arse.

    Consider it a privilege.

    MAGO: What did you say?

    I’m too busy admiring Old Knudsen’s “I Called Mago a German” Award.

  16. CYBERPOOF: The only reason you want an Oscar is so you can wear a Vera Wang silk taffeta gown with a bottom flounce.

    BOXER: Are you trying to use reverse psychology?

    IVD: 34 years?

    Looks more like 40.

    The years have not been kind, have they?

    CHER: You are a trip.


    SCARLET: No tea for you.

    Awkward’s been spiking it.

  17. KAZ: Amy Winehouse has dibs on your award too but I doubt she’ll make it another 24 hours.

    CUNNING: A horse in underpants?

    DAISY: To celebrate, go over to Anonymous Boxer’s blog and watch her latest “Mute Monday” video.

    SAVANNAH: The least likely to stab me, personally, in the back?

    *looks around suspiciously at other Infomaniac bitches*

    PONITA: The award should go to Thunder but have you seen the size of Manuel’s arse?

    Thunder has some serious competition.

    TICKERS: You also get the “Just a Bit Poofy” Award although there are a few other contenders in this group.

  18. Manuel's is close, but Thunder's is much hairier and in a nicer way. Probably a bit firmer too, as he is younger and gets lots of exercise.

    Although I have not groped Manuel's arse so I cannot say for certain...

    I have, however, patted and prodded Thunder's and even scratched it for him. He can't reach it, you know...

  19. I award myself The Cutest Helmet Award

    That might come as a surprise to some of you who think I am a lady. More lady boy I suppose!

  20. PONITA: Mistress MJ has been granted access on a one-grope-only basis to Manuel’s arse.

    Or as we affectionately refer to it…Manuel’s sweet sugarloaf.

    I’m holding off as long as possible to savour the anticipation.

    EMMA: Keep your alleged lady boy secret under your helmet.

    If Old Knudsen sniffs a gurlyboy, he’ll be all over you like a rash.

  21. I only give awards to those that deserve them. I've only seen cunts as of late.

  22. KNUDSEN: As I recall, the barter system was involved when you doled out my Knudsen Award.

  23. KNUDSEN: p.s. I still have the rash.

  24. OMG! I don't know what to say...first, I'd like to thank dog. Dog is my co-pilot, you know.

  25. Pouring Scarlet more tea. MJ, want some?

  26. I would like the «Best knowledge about fashion history» Award.

    (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Poiret )

    he he he

    keep fabulous darling

  27. Gog is pretty silent recently ...
    I said: Pass that flucking bottle of Vodka please.

  28. AWKWARD: Your tea makes me go down the rabbit hole!

    FABULASTIC: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    I would like the «Best knowledge about fashion history» Award.

    You got it!

    I’ll bet you’re wearing one of Poiret’s kimono coats as we speak.

    Do cum again.

    MAGO: Perhaps Gog is displeased with Franconia.

  29. A years supply of teacakes and a case of malt whisky would suffice for me.

  30. I was wondering why my ass was twitching so much today.......hmmmmm I refuse to award myself an award on the basis that some youtube posting lokk at the funny cat type prick will inevitably just steal it off me.....

    bitter? moi?

  31. GARFY: If I were you, I’d lay off the teacakes for awhile.

    *jiggles Garfer’s belly flab*

    MANUEL: Is your arse twitching?

    Allow me to steady your sweet sugarloaf!

  32. I deserve the "Gets drunk, but still makes it to work on time" award.

  33. Most Likely To Pose Nekked Award..
    but it would need to be tastefully done..like Burt Reynolds in Cosmo.

  34. HEFF: You deserve the day off for winning it, then.

    MR.MORNINGWOOD: I’ll be gentle with the staples.

  35. Can I have the "Doesn't really deserve an award but oh go on then if you insist" Award...?