Tuesday, December 06, 2016

Infomaniac Employment Agency

Looking for work?

[via]

Your résumé is one of the most important tools you have. 

Submit yours today to the Infomaniac Employment Agency.

31 comments:

  1. "A cornucopia of frivolity, incongruity, theatricality, and humour."
    "A deadly, winking, sniggering, snuggling, chromium-plated, scent-impregnated, luminous, quivering, giggling, fruit-flavored, mincing, ice-covered heap of mother love."
    "The lie that tells the truth."
    "Ostentatious, exaggerated, affected, theatrical; effeminate or homosexual; pertaining to or characteristic of homosexuals."


    Do I get the job? Jx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JON: Have you got the job?

      Darling, you WROTE the job description!

      Delete
  2. I'm retired.

    Hey, you kids, get off my lawn!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LX: However, you can never retire from your position as "Official Infomaniac Pillow Fluffer and Personal IT Consultant to The Mistress.”

      Delete
  3. is whipping it out considered a resume?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NORMA: What happens on the casting couch stays on the casting couch.

      Delete
    2. Including the stains. Jx

      Delete
    3. JON: The stains even ate through the Scotchguard.

      Delete
  4. 30 years experience sucking dick and plowing eager bottoms. PhD level.

    **places Qualified kisses on Mistress feet as is proper**

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't spend all that time at Dick U to be called Mister.

      Delete
  5. Thought I was already employed here...been shirking my duties lately...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AYEM8Y: Moonlighting as a Truck Stop Trollop keeps you busy.

      Delete
  6. 20 yrs experience laying pipe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JIMMY: Join our team of handymen.

      By the way, the official residence of the PM has a deficient plumbing system and needs some pipe laid. You’re the man for the job.

      Delete
    2. I'm on all fours and can flip to my back to handle any plumbing situation. I can even blot tears with tissues while greeting refugees.

      Delete
  7. I wouldn't mind a little p/t job onboard a cruise ship doing 10hrs wk as dollymop would suit me fine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MITZI: Working part-time as dollymop on the cruise ship gives you plenty of time to join Peenee & Norma at shuffleboard.

      Delete
    2. I would like to do some nib twiddling on a cruise ship, it is my dream job.... only I also want a cabin with a port hole.... I don't want to be consigned to the hold when I'm not teaching ink.
      Sx

      Delete
    3. MISS SCARLET: You may want to reconsider that porthole when someone mistakes it for a gloryhole.

      Delete
  8. I sent mine in through the Psychic Friends Network.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PEENEE: What’s that I’m hearing?

      Oh, it’s Miss Cleo from beyond the grave, shouting, CALL ME NOW!

      Delete
  9. I "wouldn't work in an Iron lung" as I was once informed by an employment agency... With over 4000 costume pieces and garments made since then I think i've managed to prove the bastard to be very very wrong...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Replies
    1. PRINNY: May your bobbin always be full.

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. LX: I hope there is a "Do Not Eat" disclaimer on those candles.

      Delete
  12. Is this a seasonal or full time job?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JEFFERY: Does it matter with benefits like this?

      Delete