Saturday, December 03, 2016

Holiday Shopping

29 comments:

  1. I hope my prescription for a wheelbarrow-full of industrial strength valium is nearly ready! It's the only way I'm going to see January.

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    1. MR. DeVICE: In your face?

      What do you think this is? Black Friday?

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    2. I don't know what came over me? I shall have to be careful otherwise my "Posho" name will be revoked.

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  2. Mistress, please pick up some extra Vicodin®. Uh, I'm asking for LẌ.

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    1. A FRIEND of LX: LX has certainly done a lot for YOU so I suppose it’s payback time.

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  3. My holiday shopping spot is similar, except the sign reads Walker Liquors. They say money doesn't buy happiness, but my liquor store register tape says different.

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    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: Walker Liquors?

      I thought you shopped at this liquor store.

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    2. I have been there Mistress. I believe their slogan used to be Liquor up front, poker in the rear.

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  4. Does booze count? (I'm asking for a friend.)

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    1. DINAHMOW: Did LX send you to do his bidding?

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  5. Replies
    1. JON: “Tested on new, modern equipment”

      Have they been tested on YOUR equipment?

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  6. "why yes ma'am, i certainly do
    know how to fill your prescription."

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  7. The Infomaniac Pharmacy! Putting the daze in Happy Holidays and the blitz in Blitzen! Never fear! Our herbal and natural medicine selection will take away your anxieties and turn you into a dasher, a dancer, or even a prancer at the company holiday party!

    Don't forget this week's special on personal neck massagers to help relieve the holiday stress and enjoy some good cheer! The perfect gift for yourself or that hard to shop for someone--available in all sizes, shapes, and colors. Batteries not included.

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    1. Have you some concentrated Beinwell cream left ?

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    2. EROS: You are really earning your keep as the Infomaniac Shopping Network Infomercial host.

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  8. pick up some for me, would you? Make it a mixed six pack, you can surprise me.

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  9. At my local Boots, drug addicts get served a heroin substitute, dispensed in little plastic beakers and taken in front of the chemist and in full view of the customers, no questions asked, yet when I go in and ask for a bottle of Benylin original, I get the third degree, I'm obviously stood in the wrong queue.

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    1. MITZI: We suggest looking shifty, avoiding eye contact, and possibly nodding off in the queue.

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  10. I am disturbed at the lack of tittles.
    Maybe I should take something for this?
    Sx

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    1. MISS SCARLET: I thought you said you were concerned about the lack of titties!

      But yes, I hadn’t noticed the bizarre lack of tittles. How odd.

      Surely, if they were short of tittles, they could have dotted the “i’s” with a couple of Paracetamol tablets.

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