Tuesday, July 16, 2013

The Wet Spot

How do you handle wet spot etiquette?



"Whether it's lube, massage oil, semen, female ejaculate or some other fluid" (mystery fluid?) no one has to sleep on the wet spot anymore thanks to the enterprising Canadians who sell the NoMoreWetSpot Blanket.
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46 comments:

  1. LẌ9:25 AM, July 16, 2013

    "Bed Wetting/discrete for sleepovers"

    YES!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mitzi 9:53 AM, July 16, 2013

    Lay newspapers down.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress10:09 AM, July 16, 2013

      MITZI: Brilliant idea!

      That way, you can keep track of the Daily Double and work on the cryptic crossword at the same time.

      Delete
  3. Jon DeepBlue10:58 AM, July 16, 2013

    Well sweetie darling, I swallow all of it. There's never, EVER been a wet spot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress12:49 PM, July 16, 2013

      HUGGY JON: You may not have a wet spot but I bet you have a sweet spot.

      Delete
  4. Ms Scarlet12:11 PM, July 16, 2013

    Shag pile.
    I have had too much sun.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress12:49 PM, July 16, 2013

      MISS SCARLET: Do you use a shag rake on your unruly bush?

      Delete
    2. Ms Scarlet2:00 PM, July 16, 2013

      I have given up with the rake... I am being brutal with the clippers.
      Sx

      Delete
    3. The Mistress2:17 PM, July 16, 2013

      MISS SCARLET: For future reference, use loppers or a pruning saw on older hedges.

      Norma can tell you more about that.

      Delete
    4. Ms Scarlet3:08 PM, July 16, 2013

      *sharp intake of breath*
      *flounces out in a huff of scarlet after messing up MJ's secret Croc collection*
      Sx

      Delete
    5. Jon DeepBlue3:56 PM, July 16, 2013

      I KNEW IT! I knew she actually couldn't live without crocs.

      The truth always comes out sooner or later.

      Delete
    6. The Mistress4:00 PM, July 16, 2013

      MISS SCARLET: I said FUTURE reference. As in distant future.

      HUGGY JON: There is no Crocs collection…secret or otherwise.

      Delete
    7. Ms Scarlet4:17 PM, July 16, 2013

      Apologies, I have one of my heads, brought on no doubt by the display of hickeys at Mr Lax's.
      Sx

      Delete
    8. LẌ4:20 PM, July 16, 2013

      Perhaps Miss Scarlet is a bit punchy from lack of sleep whilst on 24/7 royal baby watch?

      Delete
    9. The Mistress4:24 PM, July 16, 2013

      Kate Middleton should try eating one of Ma Beastie's chick pea curries.

      That would speed things along.

      Delete
    10. Ms Scarlet4:26 PM, July 16, 2013

      I wish the future Queen would hurry up... but she is determined to keep us on our toes and to make a dramatic entrance.
      Sx

      Delete
    11. The Mistress4:27 PM, July 16, 2013

      A little boy butter might make it slip it out.

      Delete
  5. ayeM8y12:45 PM, July 16, 2013

    Years ago I invented the Stayfree® mattress pad. For lazy gals.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress12:50 PM, July 16, 2013

      AYEM8Y: Does the Stayfree® mattress pad have wings?

      Delete
    2. Inexplicable DeVice3:04 PM, July 16, 2013

      Like a pteradactyl's, I shouldn't wonder.

      Delete
    3. The Mistress3:07 PM, July 16, 2013

      MR. DeVICE: Imagine the chafing.

      Delete
    4. Inexplicable DeVice3:52 PM, July 16, 2013

      I could always lend a tub of that Boy Butter™ - That should stop some of it?

      Delete
    5. The Mistress4:00 PM, July 16, 2013

      Did someone mention Boy Butter?

      Delete
    6. Inexplicable DeVice5:30 PM, July 16, 2013

      Better Butter than Cake!

      Delete
  6. Inexplicable DeVice3:51 PM, July 16, 2013

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Inexplicable DeVice3:52 PM, July 16, 2013

      Gah! Wrong place!

      Delete
    2. The Mistress4:01 PM, July 16, 2013

      MR. DeVICE: How many times has someone heard you say THAT?!

      I don't suppose the "wrong place" would matter, providing you had plenty of boy butter at hand.

      Delete
    3. Inexplicable DeVice5:32 PM, July 16, 2013

      There is no "wrong place".

      Well, depending on who needs directions...

      Delete
    4. The Mistress5:41 PM, July 16, 2013

      MR. DeVICE: I imagine there is a neon arrow pointing the way, in your case.

      Delete
  7. Jon5:51 PM, July 16, 2013

    Cue for a song by our favourite (appropriately-named) Canadians - The Wet Spots!

    Jx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress6:20 PM, July 16, 2013

      JON: Up the ol' Wazubee, baby!

      Delete
    2. Jon6:54 PM, July 16, 2013

      "When it's sticky, lucky, licky some more."

      Apparently.

      Jx

      Delete
    3. The Mistress7:38 PM, July 16, 2013

      JON: Remind me in December to play their "Fist Me This Christmas."

      Because nothing says "Happy Christmas" like a hand up your arse.

      Delete
    4. The Mistress7:38 PM, July 16, 2013

      Apparently.

      Delete
    5. Jon7:49 PM, July 16, 2013

      Getting in the festive spirit a bit early, aren't we, dear? It's 30C here. Hands up arses are not wise activities in hot weather.

      Apparently.

      Jx

      Delete
    6. The Mistress8:26 PM, July 16, 2013

      JON: More about the heat wave here on Infomaniac tomorrow.

      Shouldn't you be in bed, luv?

      Staying up late awaiting the Royal Baby?

      Or getting fisted in July?

      Delete
  8. Princess7:50 PM, July 16, 2013

    I thought "Depends" had that covered...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress8:27 PM, July 16, 2013

      PRINNY: I think we all like our private parts to have a good airing overnight.

      Delete
    2. Princess8:56 PM, July 16, 2013

      Speak for youself darling... I always go to bed in neck to knee's... I find them invaluable for diminishing those unwanted nocturnal advances...

      Delete
    3. The Mistress5:46 AM, July 17, 2013

      PRINNY: You Aussies always do things backwards.

      Delete
  9. normadesmond10:11 PM, July 16, 2013

    that web site mentioned
    not a word about ass juice!

    no doubt rotunda has a few
    tasty liters she's holding onto.

    ReplyDelete
  10. mrpeenee4:19 AM, July 17, 2013

    How do I handle it? I shut the door firmly as I'm leaving.

    ReplyDelete
  11. mrpeenee4:20 AM, July 17, 2013

    That's not a euphemism, by the way.

    ReplyDelete

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