Tuesday, July 16, 2013

The Wet Spot

How do you handle wet spot etiquette?



"Whether it's lube, massage oil, semen, female ejaculate or some other fluid" (mystery fluid?) no one has to sleep on the wet spot anymore thanks to the enterprising Canadians who sell the NoMoreWetSpot Blanket.

47 comments:

  1. "Bed Wetting/discrete for sleepovers"

    YES!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LX: No more Depend® Guards for Men!

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. MITZI: Brilliant idea!

      That way, you can keep track of the Daily Double and work on the cryptic crossword at the same time.

      Delete
  3. Well sweetie darling, I swallow all of it. There's never, EVER been a wet spot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HUGGY JON: You may not have a wet spot but I bet you have a sweet spot.

      Delete
  4. Shag pile.
    I have had too much sun.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MISS SCARLET: Do you use a shag rake on your unruly bush?

      Delete
    2. I have given up with the rake... I am being brutal with the clippers.
      Sx

      Delete
    3. MISS SCARLET: For future reference, use loppers or a pruning saw on older hedges.

      Norma can tell you more about that.

      Delete
    4. *sharp intake of breath*
      *flounces out in a huff of scarlet after messing up MJ's secret Croc collection*
      Sx

      Delete
    5. I KNEW IT! I knew she actually couldn't live without crocs.

      The truth always comes out sooner or later.

      Delete
    6. MISS SCARLET: I said FUTURE reference. As in distant future.

      HUGGY JON: There is no Crocs collection…secret or otherwise.

      Delete
    7. Apologies, I have one of my heads, brought on no doubt by the display of hickeys at Mr Lax's.
      Sx

      Delete
    8. Perhaps Miss Scarlet is a bit punchy from lack of sleep whilst on 24/7 royal baby watch?

      Delete
    9. Kate Middleton should try eating one of Ma Beastie's chick pea curries.

      That would speed things along.

      Delete
    10. I wish the future Queen would hurry up... but she is determined to keep us on our toes and to make a dramatic entrance.
      Sx

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    11. A little boy butter might make it slip it out.

      Delete
  5. Years ago I invented the Stayfree® mattress pad. For lazy gals.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AYEM8Y: Does the Stayfree® mattress pad have wings?

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    2. Like a pteradactyl's, I shouldn't wonder.

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    3. MR. DeVICE: Imagine the chafing.

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    4. I could always lend a tub of that Boy Butter™ - That should stop some of it?

      Delete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MR. DeVICE: How many times has someone heard you say THAT?!

      I don't suppose the "wrong place" would matter, providing you had plenty of boy butter at hand.

      Delete
    2. There is no "wrong place".

      Well, depending on who needs directions...

      Delete
    3. MR. DeVICE: I imagine there is a neon arrow pointing the way, in your case.

      Delete
  7. Cue for a song by our favourite (appropriately-named) Canadians - The Wet Spots!

    Jx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JON: Up the ol' Wazubee, baby!

      Delete
    2. "When it's sticky, lucky, licky some more."

      Apparently.

      Jx

      Delete
    3. JON: Remind me in December to play their "Fist Me This Christmas."

      Because nothing says "Happy Christmas" like a hand up your arse.

      Delete
    4. Getting in the festive spirit a bit early, aren't we, dear? It's 30C here. Hands up arses are not wise activities in hot weather.

      Apparently.

      Jx

      Delete
    5. JON: More about the heat wave here on Infomaniac tomorrow.

      Shouldn't you be in bed, luv?

      Staying up late awaiting the Royal Baby?

      Or getting fisted in July?

      Delete
  8. I thought "Depends" had that covered...

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    Replies
    1. PRINNY: I think we all like our private parts to have a good airing overnight.

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    2. Speak for youself darling... I always go to bed in neck to knee's... I find them invaluable for diminishing those unwanted nocturnal advances...

      Delete
    3. PRINNY: You Aussies always do things backwards.

      Delete
  9. that web site mentioned
    not a word about ass juice!

    no doubt rotunda has a few
    tasty liters she's holding onto.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NORMA: Ass juice…the mystery fluid.

      Delete
  10. How do I handle it? I shut the door firmly as I'm leaving.

    ReplyDelete
  11. That's not a euphemism, by the way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PEENEE: But your back door has no hinges.

      Delete