NAD'S. You heard me right, Bitches.
Follow these 5 simple steps to hair-free nostrils:
1. Heat Nad's Nose Wax in the microwave.
2. Dip the SAFETIP™ end of the applicator into the Nad’s Nose wax.
3. Insert the SAFETIP™ applicator into the nostril.
4. Let the wax cool inside the nostril for 1 1/2 -2 minutes.
5. Hold the stem of the applicator tightly and pull down in one swift movement.
Instructive video clip here.
Kit also contains "Calming Oil Wipes" and moustache stencils for men who want to protect their taches from the wax.
Nad's Nose Wax doubles as a deep pore cleanser.
Would you use it?
Does it address the issue that yanking like that, all at once, would approximate the feeling of actually attempting to pull your nose off?
ReplyDeleteAnd how long until some poor fool tries to use it to tidy up some more... intimate... cavity?
MUSCATO: And by “poor fool” you mean Mr. Peenee?
DeleteI am a Lady. I do Lady Things. Except for reading this ridiculous blog.
DeleteDoes it also work on ears? Uh, I'm asking for "a friend."
ReplyDeleteLX: Your friend appears to need professional help.
Deletedrat, I was hoping it was more like modeling clay...so I could finally look like Barbra.
ReplyDeleteJASON: I’m fashioning a Gérard Depardieu for you as we speak.
Delete
ReplyDeleteyou'd think it would hurt, a lot, but it
actually doesn't. it's utterly jarring.
you give a good yank and
it's over...two good yanks actually.
(if you're lucky enough to have two nostrils).
about 10 minutes later, you become
more aware of what you've done,
but it isn't really pain.
i do my ears every few weeks,
always a delightful procedure.
NORMA: You have the honour of becoming Official Nose Hair Stylist here on Infomaniac.
Deleteokay Jumbo Mambo,
Deletejump in the chair...
you're first!
No way! There is always a Klipette!
ReplyDeleteMAGO: Klipette?
DeleteWeren’t they a girl group from the 1960s?
This is a Klipette.
Deleteoh please, from the dark ages.
DeleteThe Klipette has a fascinating history.
DeleteThe story behind the Klipette “is nothing less than the story of America herself” and “Adolf Hitler set the story in motion.”
But prevents infections, Norma!
DeleteAdolf done a lot of things, but he'd better keep out of my nose.
Unrelated, but may be of interest for you: A German tv-station (WDR) has "crocs" analyzed; they found that most brands contain cancerogenic (krebsauslösend) stuff like PAK, PAH in English, and Lösungsmittel, solvents. Additionally they found Schwermetalle, heavy metalls (Chrome, Lead, Cadmium - I think that's for yellow) which are not taken in via the skin, but contaminate the surroundings, when the plastic Klumpen are finally thrown out: In short, "crocs" are nothing but hazardous waste pressed in form.
MAGO: Danke.
DeleteCROCS are a pox on society in ANY language.
Down with Schwermetalle!
I prefer to yank them out, with tweezers, one at a time.
ReplyDeleteCOOKIE: I see a promising career for you working with Norma in the Oubliette.
Deleteis that what you did the the photo to our right?
Delete...and up, just a bit.
DeleteThe "Cookie Monster" DOES look well-groomed, doesn't it?
DeleteI'll need a MUCH CLOSER look onto that, I mean, into that.
DeleteMISTRESS MADDIE: You mean the Cookie Monster?
DeleteApparently, thousands have seen it up close and personal.
i shudder to think of what it looks like
Deletenow after the throngs have mauled it.
With all the interest in Cookie's cock, I'll think I'll do a post about it.
DeleteI'd use it if I needed to.
ReplyDeleteGod knows I'd love to use it on more than a few republicans I know...
WALLY: Can you do something about Republican "helmet hair" while you're at it?
DeleteHow I missed the other Mistress!!! I see nothing has changed here. Nads? That's just it. My nose is fine. Can you recocmmend a cheaper way to wax the boys? This waxing at the spa is a trifle expensive and the tech has taken liberties I do believe.
ReplyDeleteMISTRESS MADDIE: Welcome back!
DeleteA day at The Gincuzzi will make you feel differently about our services.
If you ever find yourself in Kusadasi, Turkey, I throughly recomemnd visiting the barbers there, you will be treated like a Queen. I only called in for a quick trim and I received a shampoo and indian head massage from a mere child who had to stand on a box to reach my head, then I was treated to a manicure. After the barber finished cutting my hair, he lit a blob of wax on a metal rod and started to singe my hair with it, the fire was extinguished and same blob of wax was shoved up both my nostrils and what came out I couldn't possibly say, then it was back to the wash basin for another shampoo and rinse, then back to the chair for a hot towel on my face, a blow dry and hair mousse all that plus apple tea for 8 euros! 8 EUROS! for over an hour of pampering. I gave them a tenner each, as I felt I was robbing them.
ReplyDeleteMITZI: Does this video bring back memories?
DeleteOh my...Are you quite sure this wasn't from your time in Guantanamo?
DeleteYe Gods! For a split second I thought that was me. No the salon I went to was here I remember the spiral staircase and Wandering Jew.
DeleteJASON: I hope you're addressing Mitzi and not moi with that question.
DeleteMITZI: I'd like to test drive that vibrator.
A Wandering Jew?
Has Norma got loose and left the premises again?
I would use it. But only on you. Repeatedly.
ReplyDeletePEENEE: I'm having you waxed and stood up in Madame Tussauds' Chamber of Whores.
Delete"Scientists at Hacettepe University School of Medicine in Turkey found that patients with sparse nose hairs were nearly three times as likely to suffer from asthma as those with more-hirsute nostrils."
ReplyDeleteListen to your otorhinolaryngologist.
DeleteYep.
The mention of otorhinolaryngologists should bring FN out of the woods!
Otorhinolaryngologists!
MR. DeVICE: You've really thrown a spanner in the works.
DeleteMAGO: I think Ms. Nations is relaxing with one of her special batches of brownies.