Sunday, August 20, 2006

The Call

As you may have read over here, I phoned Tazzy and Piggy yesterday. Their account of the call is a wee bit different than mine. They make it sound like we were having a nice innocent chat over cups of tea.

Here’s what really happened…

I called their new phone sex line and boy did I get my money’s worth!

MJ: Talk dirty to me Taz

Taz: MJ, you DIRTY COW!

MJ: Best £5 a minute I’ve ever spent!

Thanks, fellas.


Another satisfied customer


  1. mj, when tazzy calls me, i always receive satisfaction. lol. ok, just kidding. it's really piggy who turns me on. lol. sorry, just couldn't say it with a straight face.

    piggy - since i'm the professional, why haven't I been hired for your new phone sex line?

    yay! i was first.

  2. Pinky - There's no point hiring you for a sex line, seeing as you'll be off working on the Vegas hooker ranch soon.

    And did we tell you that we could hear Mr MJ wanking in the background while MJ was talking to us?

    *fwap, fwap, fwap*

    Interestingly, our word veri is 'kyvag'. How very apt.

  3. Its not everyday MJ comes trans-atlantic.

    Dirty MJ

  4. We could smell her fish-flaps over the phone, you know!

    Fucking wretching, we were.

    Mr MJ carries around a pocket sized bottle of oxygen, you know.

  5. Pinky: Wondering why you haven’t been hired for P&T’s phone sex line? It’s because they know you can’t stop surfing and commenting on company time. :)

    Piggy: There are indeed licensed hooker ranches in the State of Nevada but brothels are illegal in Vegas. Pink has signed on to The Shady Lady Ranch north of Vegas. Voted best small brothel for four consecutive years! We wish her well.

    SID: Ooooo, I love it when you talk dirty. Filthy beggar. Do me a podcast, ya Oirish bastard.

  6. Pink: It seems I called you 'Pinky' instead of 'Pink' ... that's a combo of 'Pink' and 'Piggy' isn't it? That's what you and Piggy can name your first child. Wee Pinky.

  7. Our lovechild would be stunningly beautifully handsome.

    All it's genes would be mine, of course.

    As for SID doing a podcast - what a waste of time. We might as well be listening to swahili as no-one would understand a word of it.

    We just nodded in all the right places when we were over there.

    And smiled at Sid's Bird.

    Did we tell you she was gorgeous?

  8. it was piggy's bright idea to start calling me pinky.

    and as far as the love child is concerned, well, i would hope it wouldn't inherit those deformed blue eyes of his and instead inherited the more heavenly blue-hazel of mine.

    what's the byproduct of your and tazzy's genes going to look like?

  9. MJ and I wouldn't have children.

    For a start, her cock is deformed, so the coupling would be problematic.

    And if she did, through some medical miracle, succeed I'd abort them at the first opportunity.

    Then sell the sludge to the Pot Noodle factory as ingredients for a new variety.

    Feotus flavoured Pot Noodle - now theres a sure-fire seller!

  10. Piggy would eat our children. But shagging Taz would be worth it.

    And Piggy? Please reconsider your placement of commas. That's what's really problematic.

  11. for those of you just now reading this post and have thoroughly smirked, gasped, and gone huh? throughout the post...this is normal conversation for us.

    piggy - grammar check

    mj - have you heard from tazzy since he was injured? i'm afraid piggy might have shagged him to death.

  12. Pink: I talked to Tazzy on the phone yesterday. Did you actually read this post? Or Piggy's post about it? Pay attention.

  13. That sounds like a hoot. Let me know when y'all want to do a conference call.

  14. I definitely think Pinky's on crack.

  15. This is one of the most disgusting, vile and gross blogs I visit, and I love it. Keep it up guys, the planet needs you all.

  16. they have phones in the uk now?

  17. i would re-read their post,mj, but they've fucked up their sight, yet again, and it won't pull up.

  18. It works fine for us.

  19. Phlegmfatale: Oh that's all we need... a conference call. You with your Texas twang, Awaiting and Pink with their Mississippi drawls, SID with his fecking indecipherable Oirish accent, Piggy's Yorkshire via Scotland shitemouth, and the Canuck-speak that is mangled by MJ. Tazzy's the only one with a beautiful accent so he'll have to translate everything aloud for us.

    Prunella: Heavy breathing? I had to pay extra for that.

    Piggy: Pink's on crack all right. There's nothing wrong with your blog from this end either.

    Tom: Whatever are you talking about? :)

    FN: From time to time they've a flicker of electricity as well. But they still don't have decent toilets.

  20. I know I sound like a ghetto country hick. I can't get rid of my accent to save my soul.

  21. Awaiting: Let us know when that podcast is ready. We want to hear you talk the talk. And what's that juicy bit you've promised us on your blog? Is it the podcast?

  22. its ready.

    podcast 1 ghetto version, up and done!

  23. but podcast #2 with me, the one and only Pink, will be up soon.

  24. Yeah, sounds like heaven - I can hardly wait!