Tuesday, August 27, 2013


Attention hoes!

We're ready to show off your gardens in the THIRD ANNUAL INFOMANIAC GARDEN PHOTOS EVENT!

"I haven't bothered much with the garden this year, as you can see by the photo, nothing has changed...

What do you think of my new house plant? Isn't it gorgeous?...

Margaret (Venus flytrap... I named it after Thatcher.) It's not very good at catching flies though. I have to do the catching for it, armed with a water spray, when the fly becomes too heavy to fly, it drops to the floor and I'm able to pick it up with tweezers. It's very demanding, with all those hungry mouths to feed, but it gives me a thrill like no other. Carmen thinks it's ghoulish."...

1) Sweet peas running wild in my tiny front flower bed, encouraged, no doubt, by all the urine from the passing dogs...

2) Wall o' jasmine. An absolutely heavenly scent...

3) Crocosmia. An iris relative from South Africa that flourishes here in San Francisco. These are just a stand that I didn't plant and just volunteered, god love them...

"Voici notre petit jardin de balcon."
(Here is our little balcony garden.)

"Way on the top of the first photo you can see a few cosmos; then the big yellow ones are some kind of coreopsis but I'm not sure exactly; then the petunias (light purple) and the big red one is a Pelargonium. I don't know what are the small yellow ones among the petunias."...

"Here you have some calibrachoa (red), verbena (blue) and tagetes (yellow)"...

"On the back balcony, voici des chrysanthemum, pelargoniums et verbena pour cacher la poubelle" (to hide the garbage can)....

"Here are pictures of Plant A and Plant B. As much as I like gardens, be it a strictly ornamental French design, or an English garden, a Japanese stone and gravel arrangement, or a "simple" Bauerngarten in the Hohenlohe - so badly developed is my ability to grow something. Plant A and Plant B are true survivors, indestructible - I'm proud of them. Others came and went - they simply stayed where they are. Doing what they can best - not dying. Damn heroes, get'em an EK I!"...

"A far cry from my manicured gardens in New York and Florida, here in Appalachia I more or less let nature dapple my mountainside with colors..."

"I've always just assumed it was Mistress...


"These lovelies are growing, in pots, on my lanai/deck/porch right outside of my bedroom. They do get a bit droopy at times so I water them and they once again sing (mostly showtunes). I am sure they perform Martha Graham-esque modern dance moves when I am not around. That's what the neighbors tell me."...

"The Zygo cactus is the only real bit of colour at the moment...

The rainbow chard is the only thing worth showing off in the vege patch...

And as for the orchard it hadn't been pruned for about 3 years so today was the day! I was sick of trying to knock fruit down with a stick while it was growing at least 15 foot in the air...

Hopefully there will be more to show for next year with a little bit of work as the days get warmer"

"Here's a photo of the extra classy
lawn ornament on the family estate:
the coon trap my father put out...
that's only ever caught possums."...

"Sadly this is not my garden. I don't really have a garden, only a very small patio that is surrounded by fields. I have wonderful views...

And some very charming bullocks in the field next door."...

"Here are a couple of the most recent photos of Castlette DeVice's Pot Plot. This is just a taster for what is to come, as next year, I'm hoping to spread out a bit and take over some more of my sister Inexcuseable's garden.

I like my garden to be an amalgam of cottage & exotic garden, hence the foxgloves and aquilegias mingling with gunnera, pineapple lily and zantedeschia. Next year, I'm going to throw some edibles in there, too: Plants like, ginger, angelica and yams."...

"We hoped, after last year's dreadful grey, cold and wet summer, that the gardens of Dolores Delargo Towers would be a bit better, more "blowsy" this year. And so it turned out...

We had a late start to spring after a cold winter, but that largely benefitted everything including the Tulips, Bluebells, Anemones, alpine Iris, Pear blossom and - their first year of flowering - the Aquilegias."



"For the first time in years, a warm spring spread into a warm summer, and that brought out the best in the giant Poppies, the Delphiniums and our wonderful Lilium regale. Throughout June and into July, the combination of scents from the Lilies, Sweet Peas, Jasmine, Honeysuckle and Stocks (day and night scented varieties) was breathtaking."

Lilies, delphinium and regal Pelargonium:


"And of course the warm weather has continued (even if interrupted with the occasional "monsoon"), and the Asarina ("climbing snapdragon"), Pelargoniums, Petunias, Gladioli and mixed window boxes are all thriving - and we have a second flush of hardy Geraniums, Delphiniums and a first flush of Cosmos to come!"


Front window box:

A joy.

"Photo #1: Notice the lovely curves of the edging between garden and lawn? They don't come easily. The 2" wooden border is slowly manipulated to curve like that. Bent, an inch at a time, With metal stakes. I've always loved nature."...

"Photo #2: Is me, also at the cottage, with my new puppy. PS I don't normally have booze on the front porch, "a friend" brought it."...

"Just finished final trim moments ago"...

Note: Norma is disqualified. And Banned By Infomaniac. Again.

"Since I don't have a garden of my own , since I live in a condo complex and the gardening is done by the boys, my hoeing is up in the Pocono Mountains on weekend getways. The site where we stay is where the gardening and "hoeing" get done. It's a garden of head! What did you expect? At night some of the heads lights up with glowing eyes. Fun ,creepy, and twisted all the same time. Maybe next up will be a garden of cock!"...

"The more tasteful side of the garden is overlooked by a Grasshopper"...

"and this cute pup from the site entrance"...

"Now excuse me whilst I go enjoy a cock-a-tail and a good rub down from the hard work."

Mistress MJ is all about the wildlife in her garden. They deserve their own separate post one of these days. In the meantime, another year, another generation of rabbits...

Please ignore the unruly bush in the background.

That's THE END, Bitches! Until this time, next year.

Thanks to everyone for opening the windows onto your beautiful gardens.

And remember...

"Gardening is cheaper than therapy and you get tomatoes."


  1. All very lovely. I especially like the Adams Family-esque entries of Mitzi and Mistress Maddie!

    1. LX: They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky.

  2. I'm headed to Wally's and help him grow his Doobie plant!

    1. AYEM8Y: Are you in charge of quality control?

    2. M80- You don't have to head here, I'll be moving to Florida at the end of October!

      (after harvest, you see)

    3. We cannot keep up with you, Wallingford.

      New York, Georgia, Florida... my GPS is having a nervous breakdown.

    4. Perhaps Wally is "on the lam."

    5. Wait till you see my tropical gardens next year, In my head I'm already eating fresh papaya...

    6. Are you eating the papaya off the chest of a cabana boy, Wally?

  3. I vote for Jon. (not me, the other one!)

    1. JON JONS: May we take this opportunity to remind you that this is not a contest?

    2. But... but... WHO'S GONNA GET THE GAY WARE?!?!?

      And yes, if this isn'T a contest, why did you in fact disqualify Norma?

      I'm cinfused.

    3. I just FELT like disqualifying Norma even though (and I remind you) this is not a contest.

      Mistress MJ does not need a reason.

  4. @Huggy Jon- I have a feeling those little yellow flowers could be some form of Oxalis. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxalis_pes-caprae

    1. UTE: You think Huggy Jon’s little yellow flowers might be Oxalis?

      the raw bulbs have been used to deal with tapeworm

    2. Ja, ja! Die sind Sauerklee. Merci beaucoup, dear Ute. Mine thought have dark burgundy leaves and the stems are reddish which makes the yellow flowers even more bright and shiny.

      I also believe that I could bring the plant inside in winter. It might not bloom but it will survive. I've been doing this with the pelargoniums and they've thrived now for more than 5 years. From only one plant I bought in 2008, I have now three!


    of course, i'm thrilled to be
    singled out this way!

  6. i'm quite impressed by everyone's
    photos! i do so wish Mistress Jonquil
    would have a scratch & sniff site.

  7. Lovely displays everyone... What a creative and interesting pack of Bitches...
    Might i apologise for my lack of colour... It's hard to get things flowering in winter...

    1. PRINNY: Things may be a bit duller in winter but how many of us can grow the lush and unique varieties of plant life that you can in Australia?

      Take a few snaps in your spring or summer and save them for next year’s event.

      And don’t topple over trying to reach the highest fruit.

    2. If the past few summers are any thing to go by... Do you have a catagory for "Best Dried Arrangement"?
      It's just that it's a family tradition since Grandfather did a streak through the flower show back in'73 and was awarded first prize in this category...

      Oh... and i've put away the stiletto's and the stick for now...

    3. PRINNY: The winner for "Best Dried Arrangement" goes to Norma's vag.

    4. I'm quite sure that Grandfather would have loved to have met Norma... If only to check out his competition...

      I think the challenge of a "streak off" would have gotten him all aroused...

  8. Aww... a puppy. Aww... A Bunny. AHHHH! A garden full of heads!

    Still, at least the beautiful gardens make up for it.

    (I'll be back later for a proper look and comment - got to get to work now.)

    1. MR. DeVICE: Work interferes with our gardening time.

  9. I love these posts. I will also be back later to admire.
    Isn't Riley cute?

    1. MS QUOTES: Riley and his pup are adorable.

      And Canadian!

    2. I am SO jealous of your view Ms Blue. This is what I get when I look outside! Blah! :(

    3. HUGGY JON: Has the Montréal clothes line thief struck your yard yet?

  10. Excellent contributions all round! I only wish we had some (any) sunshine on our meagre plot to grow some of the real exotics like Mr DeVice has. And as for Miss Scarlett's massive bullocks - who'd have thought it? Jx

    PS I'd have thought "fly-trap" was more Maddie's forté...

    PPS I am currently off work with a frozen shoulder. Please send that gardener/houseboy immediately to apply soothing unctions.

    1. PPPS If anyone is interested, my dear other half does a month-by-month "garden diary" on his own blog The Random Jottings of Madam Arcati.

    2. JON: I feel for you, suffering with frozen shoulder.

      That will put a stop to your javelin throwing.

      Miss Scarlet said, “bullocks”…ha ha ha!

      As for your other half, Mistress MJ is a follower of Madam Arcati and can attest that he posts beautiful photos.

    3. No fly trap here hon, my honey blossom only brings the boys to my man trap.

  11. Jason's 'coon trap' gave me the first laugh of the day.

    Mr Peenee's Crocs, I pulled up a clump of those from my next door neighbours garden, when she was in hospital, they're gorgeous.

    My old Grandad used to breed rabbits for the pot.

    1. MITZI: Your granddad…Grandma Ermintrude’s husband?

      Grandma Ermintrude of jammy rings fame.

  12. Replies
    1. COOKIE: We look forward to seeing your Baltimore beauties next year.

  13. They're all so different & wonderful..!

    I want to get drunk and fall down in each and every one of them. In the case of Mitzi's fly trap, I want to sit at a bar and have a drinking contest with it.

    I promise to to fall down on the puppy or the bunny, but I may go cow-tipping over by Miss Scarlet's though...

    1. WALLY: Please refrain from tipping the bullocks.

      Bollocks, on the other hand...

  14. these were all so gorgeous (and and most interesting, so i'm glad i didn't send in pics of store bought bouquets! but, next year, sweetpea, next year the plantation will be in full bloom and i will share some photos!! xoxoxoxoxox

    1. SAVANNAH: Since it appears that Wally will be moving from Georgia to Florida, we’ll need your submissions from Georgia next year to make up for the loss of State representation.

  15. Well. I wondered , Miranda Judith if the garden party started yet , and if we would have to wear crocs. If Wally could bring some of the lovely green leaf to Mr DeVice's, I'll be in his hottub admiring his plantings and all beauty of all the gardens here. Now back to hoeing........

    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: Do not make me ban you for using the “C” word.

      Hot Tub Homos!!

  16. And I must be honest I have Wallingfords spread......so pretty and colorful...

  17. My gods, Mago - Water Plant A. Water it NOW!

    Love (British) Jon's Asarina and windowbox.

    Mitzi's Margaret reminds of my dear departed Margaret 2.0 (in name rather than appetite...).

    1. Thanks, Mr DV. The asarina was a random discovery a couple of years ago; grown from seed and survived two savage winters. It's unstoppable! And that window box is one that makes us particularly proud - black calibrachoa with pink verbena and pale pink double bacopa, and an overpowering night-scented stock weaving its way through it. Perfect. Jx

    2. MR. DeVICE: Did I hear you correctly?

      You love Jon’s ass?

    3. Now as you mention it IDV, plant A may be due to have a bath, but they know it's tough around here ...

    4. MAGO: But along with the sunshine, there's gotta be a little RAIN sometimes.

  18. Well, Bitches, it's time we wrapped up our event for this year but don't stop hoeing!...there will be a FOURTH Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos Event NEXT year.

    Thanks again, Bitches! We love seeing your gardens.