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Those who do their makeup on the morning commute are some of the worst hit, with one in three leaving some on public transport.
Almost half have lost makeup in the back of a cab, a quarter has dropped some down the toilet and a third waved it goodbye after leaving it at an ex-partner’s house.
One in ten (9 per cent) have dropped makeup down the drain and a quarter (27 per cent) have left some in a restaurant.
i only wear "cherries in the snow."
ReplyDeleteis that my brand he's got?
Which brings me to ask the question … does any man REALLY understand you?
Deleteevery suitor is handed this quiz,
Deletebefore he's allowed into the foyer.
MJ, I'll be drunk in the back if you need me....
DeleteNORMA: The foyer, yes.
DeleteBut what happens in your back passage is another story altogether.
WALLY: The back…passage?
Cherrie's in the snow for your puckered lips no doubt. Or did Mariah Janice say they were swiveled?
DeleteMISTRESS MADDIE: Anything on Norma’s body could be labeled as “shriveled.”
DeleteMagnifica Jeannie:
Deleteshriveled yet swiveled; it's a learned talent.
As Connie Francis sang:
ReplyDelete"Lipstick on your Colon, Told a Tale on You"
JASON: Ha!
DeleteI also enjoy one of Connie Francis' other hit singles, “My HapPENIS.”
I think that colour's called "Firecrotch Fantasy" or "Ginger Fluffer"...
ReplyDeleteIsn't lipstick one of those things on your list of things to "Never leave home without"?
Check you hand bag darling... It will be in there along with the sanitary wipes and mobile phone...
PRINNY: It is scary how much you know about Mistress MJ.
DeleteAs for "Firecrotch Fantasy" or "Ginger Fluffer"...thanks a whole bunch for driving even MORE ginger lovers to Infomaniac.
I wonder if Ginger Fluffer is my color? Me being a ginger an all? Or is that too monochromatic?
DeleteTOPHER: Here’s some advice I found on lipstick choices for gingers…
DeleteLipsticks or lip gloss in natural shades like coral, peach, apricot and rose look great.
Redheads who bring an artistic streak to applying make-up may also opt for the other extreme. A deep red mouth looks dazzling as long as the rest of the make-up is understated.
Fed up with paying fancy shop prices? Then make your own. Lard the indispensible beautifier adds shine to dull, lifeless hair and makes a perfect lip gloss too. A sharpie can be used to cover grey roots, shoe polish can also do the trick. Rub a slice of beetroot into your cheeks for a rosy glow. Flour makes a great alternative to face powder.
ReplyDeleteMake-up that come free in magazines can easily be removed out of it's sealed plastic bag with a bit of perseverance, saving the unnecessary expense of buying the magazine.
MITZI: Isn’t that your recipe for Grandma Ermintrude's Jammy Rings?
DeleteBe careful Mistress, sharing makeup spreads pinkeye!
ReplyDeleteLX: Or browneye in this case.
DeleteThe hershey highway!!!
DeleteBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HUGGY JON: Mistress MJ has thoughtfully provided you Bitches with tips on inserting a Hershey’s Kiss up your Hershey Highway.
DeleteYou’re welcome.
The cherry red lipstick is gonna go to mud brown right quick. I don't know what to tell you though about your missing lipstick. Have you bent over yet? It should just fall out.
ReplyDeleteMISTRESS MADDIE: And your TAMPON will fall out if YOU bend over.
Deletehey don't knock it! It's also been known to dispense loose change.
DeleteMISTRESS MADDIE: And that's why they call it a slot!
DeleteSpeaking of capacious bungholes, here's a song for the occasion...
ReplyDeleteJx
JON: Jedward!
DeleteMistress MJ wants to be their Auntie Mame.
Auntie Mame?!? I would have though Agnes Gooch!
DeleteMISTRESS MADDIE: I can't hear you for all the loose change falling out of your slot.
Deleteoh look... enough to buy us each a ice cream cone.
DeleteBeast asked me to ask you if the "model" is using 'Banana cream pie' by Rimmel London.
ReplyDeleteMR. DeVICE: That is just like Beast to send you over here to do his banana-related dirty work.
Delete"...one in three leaving some on public transport." So this guy just sat down on the bus and got up with your lip gloss wedged in his chute?
ReplyDeleteAnd why is he making such a big deal about such a tiny little insertion? I've had bigger farts.
PEENEE: *cracks open a window or three and sprays Febreze liberally*
Delete