Without Mistress around, I have been forced into solving global economic problems...Ooo!And I clipped my toenails.
One must keep up appearances whilst dominating the world.Personal hygiene is of the utmost importance.
Just awaiting the return of Mistress MJ...
Phil Collins has been dragged into the case.
"Sensible footwear" ... aha ... no more towering ... While you dominated the world I did nothing special, books, wine, the usual. Will you ever return?
Mistress MJ will return soon.Last night I dreamed you were an overnight guest in my house and that you smeared blood on the wall of the bedroom.Perhaps it was wine?
... my red wine days are over, more or less. Especially the heavy ones create payne in my stomach.Yesterday I met an old friend, I will take care for the text of her book.Did I write something on the wall or just make a nasty stain? I slept deep and can not remember if I went out. Be assured, MJ, normally I can behave and when I will indulge in your hospitality I will under no circumstances reward this gift with a stain on the wall.
MAGO: I think you were going for an “abstract painting” look.Mistress MJ has plenty of stain remover on hand should your nighttime emissions get out of hand.
Well, last night I reduced the size of my mouth by painting on a small pair of lips in the centre on my own, this combined with the amount of foundation and powder on the rest of my face gave an overall appearance of daintiness, my maid of all work Carmen fearing the worse for my mental health said I should seek medical advice ASAP so I did, Dr raeburn told me I needed to get away from it all, so I've booked a holiday and I leave Friday.My silver Audi made it's acting debut on Friday evening's regional news, something to do with major housing plans for that area. I'm just greatful it didn't show Carmen and I leaving the botox clinic with red and blotchy faces.I've taken the liberty in finding you a nice pair of sensible shoes here they are! Starting bid £2.99, I bet they stink!Did you know this comment box is on a par with Ayem8y's arse?
MITZI: Perhaps our paths will cross in our travels. Are YOU out to dominate the world as well?Will you be a victim of the upcoming “bedroom tax?”Why not turn your spare room into a bordello?Those sensible shoes will make me look like a lesbian!*hastily grabs Mitzi’s lip crayon and draws on longer eyelashes*Your comment may be on par with AyeM8y’s arse NOW but watch as it progresses to his swizzle stick as the comments stack up.
i never realized just how large you are.is your worldwide quest predicated on finding a cock large enough to fill that holland tunnel of a hole?
gee, I hope she hasn't, Norma.That's my worldwide quest.
NORMA: There isn’t a borer big enough to drive through YOUR “tunnel.”JASON: I'm pleased to see you're setting goals.And I hope the Super Bowl isn’t making a mess of your beautiful city.
mustn't fret jason, mj usually leaves crumbs.
NORMA & JASON: Also known as “sloppy seconds.”
Crocs are comfy... so I've been told....Sx
MISS SCARLET: You KNOW how Mistress MJ feels about Crocs!
The Crocs have been tossed into THHoF bonfire! Now lining the shelves are rows of sensible shoes! Guaranteed to make even the thinnest ankle turn cankle! I should know: not only do I sell them, I wear them!May I overnight you a pair, guessing you wear size 6 American, size 11 WW Canadian?
MARGARET: Crocs are strictly forbidden here on Infomaniac!!!Please read Infomaniac’s extensive Crocs posts for more information!And yes, Mistress MJ is a size 6 American/Canadian NARROW fitting.
Good, that's what I thought. I'm sending you a 12 WWW just to make sure.Can't have you getting hammertoes from small shoes.
MARGARET: Let’s see what the Good Book says about Crocs.
BITCHES: Mistress MJ needs to get back home.The cheese factory is on fire!Without their world-famous cheese curds, poutine is just regular French fries!
Let's see, I am changing my legal name. We are building a fence and getting gutter guards. Now do you see why we need you back?
COOKIE: Are you taking your husband’s name?Has Baltimore gone bananas with the Super Bowl win?Did you get any sleep last night?
I touched myself.
THOM: In your Secret Lady Place?
Sensible Shoes? Surely Not!.... Have you become a big ol' Lesbian whilst dominating the world, Darling?I caught your "Lady Godiva" re-enactment by the way...Other than that I'm up to my ears boning Satin Charmeuse... Come home soon... You are missed by many!
PRINNY: Satin charmeuse?Charmant!
The rehab clinic management called and asked if I knew any tricks to get you out of there. I told them to dangle a cake in front of you on al ong stick and watch while you scampered after it. I also asked them to post the video on youtube.
PEENEE: Mistress MJ says ♫no no no♫ to rehab.
You must be Cleopatra, 'cuz you're in De Nile.
I put Melody Gardot's CD on a loop and been listening to it since you're gone. We all miss you greatly, ma chère. Hope you're enjoying your little vacation as much as I'm anjoying mine.And this morning, I'm mourning the death of the Canadian penny.*sobs*
HUGGY JON: Isn’t Melody Gardot fabu?Mistress MJ has more musical treats in store for you soon…en français en plus!R.I.P. the Canadian penny.Moi aussi, je suis en deuil.
sure, pour alcohol directly into the wound.
Whatever are you talking about, Norma?
you're off gallivanting,we're all half out of our minds,like we need something ELSE to remind us?
Mistress MJ advises that you stay drunk until her return, Norma.
In addition to the penny, the maple leaf controversy has erupted during The Mistress' holiday!PS: I don't think that woman on the money is Canadian either!
Thechnically, the lady on the money is still the boss here... technically! So yes, she is as Canadian as MJ and I... technically.
What REALLY gets me is that the new 20 dollar bills stick together!So you can accidentally fork over $40 to a cashier instead of $20.
p.s. First the death of the penny. Then the maple leaf on the $20 bill controversy.Is the beaver on the nickel still okay?
So your bills stick toghether too... and I thought it was because I keep them in my crotch!
HUGGY JON: Montres-nous ton bâton de colle!
...that I've appropriately named Elmer!He's repositionable, you know?!
just heard canada's doing away with the penny.how will mistress be paid now?
NORMA: I’m sure they’ll find something suitable to insert into my coin slot.