THE GAYEST THING IN YOUR HOUSE CONTEST!

GAY OVERLOAD!!!

Infomaniac Bitches have flung open their closet doors to reveal the gayest thing(s) in their house!

And we want all our readers to vote for THE GAYEST THING!

Deadline for voting: Tuesday, November 8th at 7 pm EST.

Note: Many of these photos can be enlarged by clicking.

Let’s start with two long-time lurkers, TOPHER from Naples, Florida and TWUNTY MCSLORE from Cleveland Heights, Ohio.

TOPHER…
Artist, Rene Gruau, most famous for his fashion drawings for Dior, Givenchy and others during the 50's.....this is at the top of the staircase leading to the front door - reminds me to be FABULOUS all day.

TWUNTY MCSLORE…
It was hard for me to narrow it down to just ONE thing, but here it is. I've known Lady Bunny for more than 20 years, that old heifer, and yet I still pick hers as my favorite doll. I'm loyal that way.

Thank you, new Bitches! And now let’s see what's on offer from our motley crew of regulars.

NURSEMYRA…
The gayest thing in my house…is my son.

STACIA…
A movie still with the fabulous Franklin Pangborn. This is part of my Marie Prevost collection -- she's the peroxide piranha hidden under all that gold lamé -- but Franklin steals the scene with nothing more than a hanky and a grin.

MICHAEL GUY…
Marilyn typically stays in the closet; Mary resides over my kitchen atop the refrigerator. Actually they make a nice couple and it wouldn't hurt if I prayed to both of them.

NORMADESMOND…
I suppose this is kind of gay. My laundry room is adorned with an enlarged copy of Divine's obit (this is from the Boston Globe, always loved their choice of photo)...

a smattering of Joan Crawford lobby cards...

and a Holly Woodlawn poster, purchased 10,000 summers ago in Provincetown...

Now that i write it down, i see just how gay it is.


MITZI…
Debbie, my delightful miniature hippo that changes colour with the weather. She turned pink today, which means it's a bit nippy outside. Created by acclaimed sculptor Regina Qwertyuiop and cast in the finest quality melamine, it's one of her best and most detailed pieces to date. I won Debbie at the prize bingo in Blackpool several years ago, I was given a token to redeem in the bingo hall's shop and there she was, gathering dust on the "One win" shelf, she was calling out to me telepathically "choose me... choose me!"

MR. PEENEE…
The gayest thing in my personal, very gay home is my combination linen closet/Barbie doll sex club.

MS. FIRST NATIONS…
Everyone wants a tiny ridiculous dog in a gay pink sweater. You know you do. I know I did. It doesn't get much more tiny or ridiculous than Miss Cujo; a ridiculous and tiny mix of dachshund, beagle, chihuahua and pug. If the Canadians ever decide to attack, and their front line consists of small Guatamalan women pushing strollers, Miss Cujo will sound the alarm...repeatedly. Any time of the day or night. Or because there were some crows in the back yard that might have been Canadian, or the guy down the block opened his garage door AND HUNDREDS OF CANADIAN SHOCK TROOPS STORMED OUT or wait, no. But they might have.
Rest easy, America.

THOMBEAU…
I should really do an entire post about it, as there is so much gayness contained in this game that a couple of pics don't do it all justice. Gay Monopoly came out in 1983 (courtesy of "Parker Sisters") and is a veritable time capsule of queer culture from that era. The tokens include a blow dryer, a high-heeled shoe, and handcuffs. I seem to recall that at some point Parker Bros., makers of the original Monopoly game, were not amused and put out a cease and desist order. I received this for Xmas last year, it's in pristine condition and has probably never been used. Unlike me, you, and the readers of your blog!

COOKIE…
You know, when I was eight or nine - 1970/1 or so, it wasn't OK for boys to play with dolls but my mother finally gave in and bought me a Ken Doll provided that I hid it from everyone. Since I was mostly alone because I had no interest in being around football or baseball or anything else like that, playing with "Ken" was no issue. But then one of our family friends gave me their son's entire G.I. Joe (the old kind) and it had a mechanical Jeep and all the military clothes. I also ended up with a BIG JIM Sports Camper, which was exactly like Barbie's camper but made for Mattel's "Big Jim" doll.

So for years I would play with Ken and G.I. Joe, as they were the same scale. G.I. Joe would go out in the jeep and kill dinner and Ken would stay back at the camper and make the beds and get the fire going, etc.

One day I came home and found that my father had had enough and threw it all away.

It's was so hard being a kid whose parents were ashamed of you. It's even harder to hear people who say that this is how you want to be, when it is so impossible to be anything but who you are.

There is the part of me that still twinges with real pain because we came just a bit too late to be young enough to imagine that we could be parents. I mean back in the late seventies and early 1980s that was a remarkable thing for gay person to want enough to climb those barriers. I would have loved having a child that I could embrace and provided the type of parenting that would have allowed them to grow up to become what their essence directed them towards. It would have been nice to be able to pass on a sense of perspective, and hope that when they became parents they too would do the right thing.

So instead of buying my son or daughter a Ken doll, or giving them this one - mint in the box, I just keep this one tucked away. Maybe one day he'll be worth something. The irony is that is what my parents probably thought of me.

(above) Cookie's Earring Magic Ken aka Cock Ring Ken


PRINCESS…
I have finally recovered from spinning around and around (oh goodness, I'm sounding like Petra) for long enough to snap a quick shot of something gay or pretty close to being the gayest things at "The Palais" (Well apart from myself of course.) And I'm not talking about the rather provocative sexual organs of those "Flagrant Hussies" the orchids displaying themselves wantonly in the background. No I'm referring to my Rainbow Ribbon wind catcher dangalooey thingamies. They hang with gay abandon throughout the Palais and its surrounds. I used to make them to sell at local markets or give them away to friends and family. Now I just keep a few hanging around for their subtle indication and old time’s sake.

COREYJO...
I've searched, and searched. The closets, the cupboards, boxes and bags. This is, to me the 'gayest' thing in my house. Upon returning from his last over seas cruise, while in the U.S. Navy, Sailor Sam brought with him this fan. I instantly took a disliking to it. I tried to explain to him "it's the same one you see in all the Chinese restaurants across the U.S." Of course he told me I was wrong. What did I know? I had no penis therefore I am automatically wrong in his mind. Realizing how much he loved this fan I agreed to hang it on the wall of our then apartment in hopes that when we returned home to Michigan it would end up out in his garage and not back on my living room wall. Turns out we bought a house with no garage, and still don't have one. So for the last 11 1/2 years I've had to stare at this fan. Other than our house, and a Chinese restaurant, I have only seen fans of this style gracing the walls of a few of my gay friends. So to me, this is the 'Gayest' thing in my house.
p.s. I don't dislike it because it's 'gay', I dislike it because it's UGLY.

RILEY…
Barbara Streisand in my liquor cabinet. She's a little "tipsy."

JON (DEEP BLUE)…
I'm sorry to inform you that I couldn't find anything gay in my house, I swear. Don't have feather boas, don't have one single Dalida record, don't have a pair of Nana Mouskouri glasses, no fake autographed picture of Barbara... Nothing Liberace, nothing Dorothy, nothing Minnelli. I just cannot convince people I'm gay!

I go to bars and clubs and even spas, and nobody pays attention to me.
Once, I climbed on a table and I screamed to the entire crowd: "Hey guys! I'm gay! Please, do me!"
And they all laughed at me.
Even my own parents laughed when I came out to them...
"Yeah, yeah, you're gay! And I'm the president of the USA!"

Oh well... the only gay thing I can offer you, my dear mistress, as a token of my affection, is my rather flat, bony, leather-clad derrière. Of course this is absoLOOOtely no match for the gorgeous gayish thingies all the bitches are going to drop in your in-box. But I offer this to you from the bottom of my *cough* heart.

I know you would have preferred a picture of my naked bony ass, butt I wouldn't want to be responsible of yet another chain reaction of thudding on Infomaniac.
I'M PRUD!... er... I meant... I'M PROUD!
(Now if only those pants had a back fly...)

Note from Mistress MJ: Jon's arse joins our Gallery of Alluring Arses.

MAGO…
The two pictures attached show what is decorating the tiny part of my wall in the living room that is not behind bookshelves. The lady is made from a kind of clay, you see her in situ. I think the piece is produced sometimes in the late 1950s or early 1960s. It was in the household of my parents.

The colourful running thingy is a present from a friend, he got it from a museum of modern art in Germany. I think it's influenced by Niki de St.Phalle, but have no idea who made this. It is made from metal and has a small magnet that keeps it in position.

AYEM8Y (aka MEAN DIRTY PIRATE)…
Hmm, THE GAYEST THING IN MY HOUSE?
That's a tough one as I am so gay and I have one of those really gaily decorated houses that the old queens back in the day used to have. I keep up the trend as an homage to those that are no longer with us. Just looking around my boudoir I snapped a few of the more gay items in the room. I thought I would take a close-up of my Asian lady chalkware lamps since everyone mentions how gay they are. I think they are nice and rather campy...

Hmm, what else, OH, my Judy 45's?...

My cock ring?...

My Art Nouveau silver vase of peacock feathers sitting on my round mirror dressing vanity?...

How about the fact that I have a round mirror dressing vanity?

There you have it, Bitches! The gayest things in your houses!

Thanks to everyone who submitted.

NOW VOTE FOR THE GAYEST THING!!!

Deadline for voting: Tuesday, November 8th at 7 pm EST.