Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Ten Sex Mistakes You’ll Always Regret

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Name at least ONE of yours, Bitches.
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40 comments:

  1. Anonymous6:36 AM, November 22, 2011

    YAY First!

    Is this cover by Cookie?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Michael Guy6:40 AM, November 22, 2011

    YAY NUMBER TWO!

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Mistress6:41 AM, November 22, 2011

    No, Mago, this is not one of Mr. Cookie’s Periodically Anachronistic covers but he has a new Thanksgiving issue over there.

    Oh Hai, Michael!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Damien6:44 AM, November 22, 2011

    OH so many to list = but not realising one had to use a condom AND lube when getting fucked for the first time made for a painful mistake NEVER again repeated....

    Young and stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Mistress6:57 AM, November 22, 2011

    OUCH!

    We learn from others' mistakes, Damien!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Princess7:37 AM, November 22, 2011

    I always manage to fall in love with the straight guy. Embarrassing Mistakes... Does anyone know where I can get my Gaydar serviced???

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Mistress7:38 AM, November 22, 2011

    Mistress MJ's superpower is Gaydar.

    Take me along on your next date!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Princess7:40 AM, November 22, 2011

    Thank you Mistress... In the words of Dolly "I will always love you"....

    ReplyDelete
  9. The Mistress7:41 AM, November 22, 2011

    OMG, Princess!

    That's one of Mistress MJ's top three saddest songs in the world!

    But only when performed by Dolly, not Whitney.

    *weeps into pillow*

    ReplyDelete
  10. Princess7:51 AM, November 22, 2011

    Dolly beats that crack head any day darling.
    Now... You just have yourself a good cry and let it all out...

    *cues Roy Orbison on infomaniac juke box*

    ReplyDelete
  11. The Mistress8:06 AM, November 22, 2011

    *sobs*

    ReplyDelete
  12. Princess8:37 AM, November 22, 2011

    Snap!
    *tears welling*
    Pass the box of tissues please Mistress...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Princess8:39 AM, November 22, 2011

    Take it from me darling... Straight boys will do that to you... *blows nose*

    ReplyDelete
  14. DeepBlue8:39 AM, November 22, 2011

    So that's what Dolly sings when the pinball tilts... or titls, according to Wally!

    I'm happy to learn I'm not the only compulsive sobber on Infomaniac!

    *sobs*

    ReplyDelete
  15. Princess8:43 AM, November 22, 2011

    *passes tissues to Jon*
    there there Darling it will be alright....

    ReplyDelete
  16. The Mistress8:47 AM, November 22, 2011

    Could sobbing be considered one of the top 10 sex mistakes?

    ReplyDelete
  17. LaDivaCucina8:49 AM, November 22, 2011

    Oh dear, fuck the tissues, pass the vodker!

    One of my mistakes was assuming that because the boy was an incredibly good looking hunk of New Zealand Maori mixed with Asian and so very pretty and muscle-y that he would be strong and good in bed. Total Starfish. Yawn. Almost fell asleep....so DON'T assume!

    ReplyDelete
  18. LaDivaCucina8:51 AM, November 22, 2011

    Mistake two: Falling in love with gay men in my youth.....but they loved the attention, didn't they? Ah yes, I was so popular at the gay bar until 2 am and then poor Diva would go home alone....I wised up pretty quick!

    ReplyDelete
  19. The Mistress8:53 AM, November 22, 2011

    La Diva should write a book entitled, "Dating Debacles!"

    ReplyDelete
  20. DeepBlue9:30 AM, November 22, 2011

    There's this good old friend of mine who told me once about this time when he expelled a huge, loud, big fart while hard pounding his mate, which sucked all the oxygen from the room, leaving us... I mean THEM... leaving them almost unconscious on the bed... or was it on the backseat of the car...

    maybe it was on the sling, I can't remember...

    Of course, this has NEVER happened to me cause...

    I'm flawless in the department of sex...

    ...

    Hugs
    Jon

    ReplyDelete
  21. The Mistress9:32 AM, November 22, 2011

    And then there's the QUEEF.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ms Scarlet9:42 AM, November 22, 2011

    I never kiss and tell... well not without payment.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  23. The Mistress9:49 AM, November 22, 2011

    *dangles packet of HobNobs in front of Miss Scarlet*

    ReplyDelete
  24. normadesmond10:03 AM, November 22, 2011

    since it seems to be de rigueur here, i'll cry over all the sex i didn't have.

    there were a couple of days in 1980 and one in '83 that i did absolutely NOTHING!

    ReplyDelete
  25. ayeM8y10:10 AM, November 22, 2011

    *Counts notches on bed post, tallies, tallies, tallies, divides by number of one night stands, multiplies by number of satisfied customers, carries the one...NOPE...no regrets*

    ReplyDelete
  26. LẌ10:58 AM, November 22, 2011

    Regrets? I've had a few.
    But then again, too few to mention.

    ReplyDelete
  27. The Cool Cookie11:01 AM, November 22, 2011

    What do I regret? Not getting fucked more often by Wayne Patterson back in 1983. I also regret not getting more Andre Moreau.

    ReplyDelete
  28. KellyRed11:48 AM, November 22, 2011

    Being such a goodie goodie in HS and college that I didn't learn to do stuff with overeager boys/men who would have accepted practically anything! When I finally let loose I had a steep learning curve LOL. I was a good student though, a holdover from my above mentioned goodie goodie phase.

    ReplyDelete
  29. FirstNations12:08 PM, November 22, 2011

    I've never heard any complaints; then again I consume my partner afterwards too.

    Mistake? Doing the 'reverse cowgirl' thing and getting bucked off headfirst into a mirror when the guy came...and breaking the mirror. Then we had to sneak out of the place and book ass. This is what our vacations are like, pretty much.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Roses2:13 PM, November 22, 2011

    Polite sex!

    It's even worse than bad sex.

    And I did it 3 times. I am such a fucking optimist.

    Never, ever again.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Thombeau2:30 PM, November 22, 2011

    Sex mistakes: zero.

    Love mistakes: too many!

    ReplyDelete
  32. The Mistress3:18 PM, November 22, 2011

    NORMADESMOND: since it seems to be de rigueur here, i'll cry over all the sex i didn't have.
    there were a couple of days in 1980 and one in '83 that i did absolutely NOTHING!

    1983?

    See my comment to Cookie.

    AYEM8Y: *Counts notches on bed post, tallies, tallies, tallies, divides by number of one night stands, multiplies by number of satisfied customers, carries the one...NOPE...no regrets*

    You must have splinters by now from all those bed post notches.

    VON LX: Regrets? I've had a few.
    But then again, too few to mention.

    You ate it up and spit it out?

    COOKIE: What do I regret? Not getting fucked more often by Wayne Patterson back in 1983. I also regret not getting more Andre Moreau.

    1983?

    I think that Wayne was two-timing you with Norma.

    KELLY RED: Being such a goodie goodie in HS and college that I didn't learn to do stuff with overeager boys/men who would have accepted practically anything! When I finally let loose I had a steep learning curve LOL. I was a good student though, a holdover from my above mentioned goodie goodie phase.

    You missed the smorgasbord but I’m sure you had your choice of the dessert cart.

    NATIONS: I've never heard any complaints; then again I consume my partner afterwards too.
    Mistake? Doing the 'reverse cowgirl' thing and getting bucked off headfirst into a mirror when the guy came...and breaking the mirror. Then we had to sneak out of the place and book ass. This is what our vacations are like, pretty much.

    *cranks up Kitty Wells on the Victrola*

    ROSES: Polite sex!
    It's even worse than bad sex.
    And I did it 3 times. I am such a fucking optimist.
    Never, ever again.

    Polite sex?

    I wasn’t aware of such a thing.

    THOMBEAU: Sex mistakes: zero.
    Love mistakes: too many!

    Who wrote the book of love, dammit?

    ReplyDelete
  33. designing wally8:25 PM, November 22, 2011

    I tend to arrive late....

    Kinda like on this post!

    ReplyDelete
  34. The Mistress10:15 PM, November 22, 2011

    Oh Hai Wally!

    ReplyDelete
  35. mrpeenee10:28 PM, November 22, 2011

    Oh, polite sex, definitely the worst. "This is not working, but I can't be rude and tell him, so I'll just stick it out. Maybe I'll make a grocery list while I wait."

    ReplyDelete
  36. The Mistress10:29 PM, November 22, 2011

    Do you shake hands after sex?

    ReplyDelete
  37. designing wally10:34 PM, November 22, 2011

    And by "arrive", of course I mean "come"....
    Sounds nice in theory, til you have to say: "Darlin' it just ain't gonna happen."

    ReplyDelete
  38. Miss Sunshine2:12 AM, November 23, 2011

    I'm with Damion OZ, I had no idea that you had to lube your ass. What the hell is up with that anyways? Every other hole on my body has some kind of natural lube!

    Never had polite sex or boring sex. If they aren't doing it right or well, I show them or just do it myself. I'm willing to teach, but I have no patience for the clueless when I need a good romp.


    Hai Jon, Princess, MJ!

    p.s. Too funny Jon. I almost choked on my drink!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous4:47 PM, November 23, 2011

    My biggest regret is Mattress Man

    https://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2010/09/19/healthy-strokes/

    ReplyDelete
  40. The Mistress10:09 PM, November 23, 2011

    WALLY: And by "arrive", of course I mean "come"....
    Sounds nice in theory, til you have to say: "Darlin' it just ain't gonna happen."

    Cum again?

    COREYJO: I'm with Damion OZ, I had no idea that you had to lube your ass. What the hell is up with that anyways? Every other hole on my body has some kind of natural lube!
    Never had polite sex or boring sex. If they aren't doing it right or well, I show them or just do it myself. I'm willing to teach, but I have no patience for the clueless when I need a good romp.
    Hai Jon, Princess, MJ!
    p.s. Too funny Jon. I almost choked on my drink!

    Are you sure that was a beverage you were choking on?

    NURSEMYRA: My biggest regret is Mattress Man
    https://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2010/09/19/healthy-strokes/

    I anxiously await your posts on Bathroom Boy and Stocking Sam.

    ReplyDelete

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