Hangs around your neck to keep your hands free…for better things!
Buy one now from the Infomaniac Shopping Network and we’ll throw in a free Wine Glass Holder Necklace!...
[via]
“There are few products on the market today that combine the sophistication of oenophilia with the practicality of a lanyard but this product marries the two deftly. Before owning this product, I couldn’t count the number of times I found myself at parties thinking, ‘Argh, I like drinking but this glass of wine is really cutting down on my grabbing efficiency. I could be grabbing at least twice as much stuff without this glass.’
As though hearing my silent pleas, SkyMall provided the wine glass holder necklace. It allows me the freedom to do everything necessary to be the life of the party (save leaning, bending over, jumping, twisting or walking briskly).
Things I have grabbed with ease since owning the Wine Glass Holder Necklace:
Cheese!
Toilet Seats!
Other Glasses of Wine!
Steering Wheels!
Breasts!
Nunchucks!
It isn’t just a fashionable and functional necklace, it is $25 worth of life enhancement. I recommend this product to everyone except those with irregularly shaped chests or hearts born on the outside of their bodies.”
Act now, Bitches!
There’s a party soon!
Who invents this crap?
ReplyDeleteI'll have a Swinger Party Glass. Perfect for Cape Cods!
ReplyDeletemy neck is too tired to hold that glass up....i'll just pin mine to the clothesline, if that's all right.
ReplyDeletexl, cape codders were my drink for years!
I gotta get me one of those wine glass pendants. It will free up the hands for some serious sword grabbing...
ReplyDeleteIt will help me with my drinking and driving! I won't spill my drink half as much!!! Thanx mj!
ReplyDeleteyou mean i can have my hands free and get a green neck from cheap jewelry or a nasty rash from a disgusting plastic lanyard? am i in heaven or what? please make sure to fill either glass with the cheapest liquor available, cuz that is how i roll
ReplyDeleteI don't know how I've survived so long without one.
ReplyDeleteApologies, but I walk across too many cobbles in my velveteen slingbacks for this product to be of use to me... it might be more useful if it had a lid though.
ReplyDeleteSx
...I also like bouncey castles which could prove problematic.
ReplyDeleteSX
UBERMOUTH: Who invents this crap?
ReplyDeleteThe Infomaniac Shopping Network does not sell crap.
We sell "things you didn't know you needed."
XL: I'll have a Swinger Party Glass. Perfect for Cape Cods!
How are you able to remain upright at your computer?
NORMADESMOND: my neck is too tired to hold that glass up....i'll just pin mine to the clothesline, if that's all right.
xl, cape codders were my drink for years!
Pin your glass or your neck to the clothesline?
PRINCESS: I gotta get me one of those wine glass pendants. It will free up the hands for some serious sword grabbing...
En garde!
VOICES: It will help me with my drinking and driving! I won't spill my drink half as much!!! Thanx mj!
Watch out for the …. Uh oh….too late…moat.
KABUKI: you mean i can have my hands free and get a green neck from cheap jewelry or a nasty rash from a disgusting plastic lanyard? am i in heaven or what? please make sure to fill either glass with the cheapest liquor available, cuz that is how i roll.
Have a look at our wine list.
ROSES: I don't know how I've survived so long without one.
Your body is pickled from all the vodka, that’s how.
SCARLET: Apologies, but I walk across too many cobbles in my velveteen slingbacks for this product to be of use to me... it might be more useful if it had a lid though.
If Kelly Crabtree, could do it, you can do it.
SCARLET: ...I also like bouncey castles which could prove problematic.
I remember when you got your leg stuck up Beast’s backside in the Infomaniac bouncy castle.
Saaayyyy... I could wear two wine lanyards and rock the Patty Duke criss-cross effect over my boobs! I see no way this could go wrong.
ReplyDeleteBetter than a Trinkhelm?
ReplyDeleteDear Mistress, what are "Nunchucks"?
STACIA: Saaayyyy... I could wear two wine lanyards and rock the Patty Duke criss-cross effect over my boobs! I see no way this could go wrong.
ReplyDeleteDoes a hot dog make you lose control?
MAGO: Better than a Trinkhelm?
Dear Mistress, what are "Nunchucks"?
Your Trinkhelm is perfect for the Pink Room!
Nunchuks is a slang term for Nunchaku.
Whaa ... is Carl Douglas still with us? "Tschakos" are prohibited here since 2006.
ReplyDeleteMAGO: Whaa ... is Carl Douglas still with us? "Tschakos" are prohibited here since 2006.
ReplyDeleteThey’re illegal here in Canada too.
Note that it wasn’t me who wrote the Wine Glass Holder Necklace review that’s in quotation marks.
If you click the photo, you’ll see that it’s someone named “Soren”…
Now who does THAT remind you of? Ha!
"someone named 'Soren;… Now who does THAT remind you of"
ReplyDeleteKierkegaard!!!
I just put the straw into the vokda bottle. So much easier and no clean up.
ReplyDeleteXL: "someone named 'Soren;… Now who does THAT remind you of"
ReplyDeleteKierkegaard!!!
Wrong! But same initials.
Soren KNUDSEN…aka Old Knudsen!
BOXER: I just put the straw into the vokda bottle. So much easier and no clean up.
Practical!
I like those novelty bendy straws (supposedly for kids.)
I had to give it up - it got in the way of the cock sucking. Every time I started to get a good rhythm going while going down on some guy the glass would start swinging and crack on the guys knees.
ReplyDeleteCOOKIE: I had to give it up - it got in the way of the cock sucking. Every time I started to get a good rhythm going while going down on some guy the glass would start swinging and crack on the guys knees.
ReplyDeleteYou’re a filthy fucker.
Soren B. wrote "A sword" on his list - sounds more like Charlie Sheen: MAybe Sheen is only Knudsen's cock suckit, sock puppet? The nunchucks are only the vain attempt to blur the traces ...
ReplyDelete