Friday, May 20, 2011

DOUBLE Birthday Happiness!

Mistress MJ is thrilled to host a double birthday party as both Beast and kabuki zero celebrate their birthdays on May 20th.

Let’s get started by wishing Beast a happy FIFTIETH birthday!..

He’s still young at heart as you can see from the photo above.

As you know, Beast loves bananas so we couldn’t think of a better 50th birthday gift than a mountain of bananas…

Enjoy them, Beast!

They’re much more nutritious than your usual diet…


Not only is Beast celebrating his 50th birthday, Beast is also the current winner of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts.

We’ll let you know when he hosts the next big Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Competition so that you, too, can be a winner.

In fact, I think he’s working on a post right now!...

Oh no, it turns out he’s just working on his memoir.

Random Beast quotation from his upcoming autobiography…

“I once had to pee in a plastic cup when stuck in a hidious traffic jam in a tunnel for 4 hours on the M25.I had to keep stopping and emptying the steaming contents out the window so we didnt have an overflow situation.”

We’ll have more from this exciting page-turner at a later date.

But now we shine the spotlight upon that Goddess of the Desert Empire, our blooming Desert Rose…kabuki zero

Happy birthday, kabooks!

Of course, you remember kabuki as the winner of the How Not to Decorate Competition.

I want to leave that chapter of my life behind me

And so you shall, kabuki, now that we present you with a beautiful Herculon La-Z-Boy Reclina-Rocker with built-in stain release…

We here at Infomaniac have included a few words from the kabuki Book of Life (sixteen weeks on the bestseller list); words that may help you in your journey…

“i have tossed off my melancholy, and am ready to kick lifes' ass. Put a prince cd in the boombox, hand me something wet (in a glass, please) and step back. Or step off, just move out of the way. Cuz if you don't - there will be serious windburns on your ass. I said ass twice already, must be ass season. and don't make me break my foot off in your ass. especially if i am wearing my silver snake-skin cha-cha pumps.”

Wasn’t that inspirational? Who needs Oprah?

“Don’t hate me because I’m blessed with looks, brains and talent. some people are fabulous, and others have fabulous thrust upon them. kabuki has both. TA-DA!”

And there you have it, Bitches.

Two incredible Infomaniac bitches born on the same day.

Fate has delivered them to our doorstep on a silver cake server…

Happy Birthday Beast and kabuki zero!!!

Now everybody help yourselves to the vodka fountain! And CAKE!

Note: For more Beast birthday fun, visit Inexplicable DeVice and Miss Scarlet.


  1. 1st to say "Happy Birthday Beast & Kabuki!!!"

  2. Happy Birthday, Kabuki!! And to the Beast, too!

  3. i am overcome with joy and happiness. surely you agree that i deserve it. kabuki will trhy and spend most of my birthday enveloped in a cake frosting stupor. here's looking at you! salut

  4. OH! The happiest of birthday celebrations and debauchery for Beast and Kabuki! Wheee!!!!

  5. noooooo cake!!!

    But how about I plug in the vodka fountain in celebration of two fabulous birthdays?

    50 is still the new 40 bitches! Or least while Oprah is still on TV.

  6. Thank you my loveleys . Who would have thought it . Me and the gorgeous Kabuki Astrological TWINS.......

  7. I'm sure Kabuki is just thrilled Beast.

    Happy birthday to you both!

    Much banana fun to you both!


    Hope you got that chocolate cake, Kabuki~

    And I hope Beast parties hardy in those shorts!

  10. Mazel Tov to both of you - best wishes.



  11. Is it possible that Beast and kabuki were separated at birth?

  12. Happy birthday Beast and Kabuki! And don't do anything with the bananas we wouldn't do.

  13. Happy double banger birthdays Beast and KabukiZero.

  14. happy birthday, darling beast & gorgeous kabuki! i shall celebrate at the vodka fountain here on the plantation! cheers, sugarpies! xoxoxoxo

  15. BEAST! Beast is 50! Half a century of the noodley goodness that is BEAST!
    Yes,iIt seems like only yesterday he was just a lad, crouched under the front porch eating the neighbors' cat, undermining the foundation with all his digging ev'ry full moon eve...I remember how as a young man he would bound o'er the moors with a human limb in his maw, leading local law enforcement a merry chase! And that fateful night in '78 when a busload of crippled orphans and aging pop stars went missing in the Cotswolds....
    Oh Beast! Beast, best beloved, aging gracefully like a ripe salmon on the doorstep of another year...! Beast, poised and trembling like a fawn at the brink of this new millenium, greying ball-fro notwithstanding! Bloodied and unbowed, with a coonskin cap and a glance of steel and a skinfull of Merlot and a pair of torn pantyhose wrapped around his forehead like a turban!

  16. Good golly, it's truly a red letter day what with two Infomaniac birthdays AND a special cameo appearance by the one and only Ms. Nations.

    Are you certain that's ripe salmon you smell, Ms. Nations?

    Could it be Kipper Surprise?

    Oh Hai again, Miss Scarlet!

  17. Happy Birthday Boys! And thanks to the Mistress for such a fitting tribute.

    Of course I already knew about Kabuki's birthday, as I have been hearing about it for a month now.

  18. Happy Birthday Bitches!

    *raises a(nother) glass*

    Birthday happiness all round!


  19. Happy Birthday, Kabuki and Beast! Kabuki, I love the photo of you with your windblown hair, so mysterious. Hope your spesh day was grand and luscious! (thanks for plugging in the vodka fountain, Boxer!)

  20. may i have a second piece of cake?

  21. Back off Norma you greedy bitch .
    and Wow Miss Nations speaks . Now thats what I call a birthday

  22. Happy birthday to the dioskuroi!

    "FN still alive" should make the headlines!