Friday, April 30, 2010

Filthy Friday – Talking/Singing Penis

Mistress MJ tripped over this photo on Old Knudsen’s blog …



We cannot be certain if it is a talking penis or a singing penis.

In any case, if your penis (or the penis of a loved one) could talk, what would it say?

And if it could sing, what tune would it choose?

29 comments:

  1. Ah hah hah hah hah ha! I've done it at last!! I'm first! Kneel before me, puny mortals!

    Actually, maybe that's what my penis would say...?

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  2. It would say:

    Would you like to go for a ride?

    And it would sing:

    Celebrate good times, come on!

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  3. ...The record shows I took the blows and did it my way...
    *wanders off humming*
    Sx

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  4. That's easy. It's one of two. First choice would of corse be the Kylie track Butterfly. See fanmade video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6j0Sr49CGU&feature=youtube_gdata

    it's a brilliantly made video and I can say that because I didn't make it.

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  5. Or Rght Said Fred I'm too sexy

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxZp4VEopcE&feature=youtube_gdata

    although it would be the Spanish version mine would do.

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  6. i think my response to both these questions are best answered here with these dulcet tones....

    Oh hey bitches!

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  7. IVD: Ah hah hah hah hah ha! I've done it at last!! I'm first! Kneel before me, puny mortals!
    Actually, maybe that's what my penis would say...?


    Please refrain from mentioning your royal sceptre.

    EROS: It would say:
    Would you like to go for a ride?
    And it would sing:
    Celebrate good times, come on!


    There’s a party goin’ on right here.

    Ya-HOO!

    SCARLET: All penisi sing My Way.
    ...The record shows I took the blows and did it my way...
    *wanders off humming*


    And in response, I would say…

    Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
    When I bit off more than I could chew
    But through it all, when there was doubt
    I ate it up and spit it out

    CYBERPOOF: That's easy. It's one of two. First choice would of corse be the Kylie track Butterfly. See fanmade video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6j0Sr49CGU&feature=youtube_gdata
    it's a brilliantly made video and I can say that because I didn't make it.


    Kylie…why didn’t I see that coming?

    CYBERPOOF: Or Rght Said Fred I'm too sexy
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxZp4VEopcE&feature=youtube_gdata
    although it would be the Spanish version mine would do.


    Are you gonna shake that little thing on the catwalk?

    PRINCESS: i think my response to both these questions are best answered here with these dulcet tones....
    Oh hey bitches!


    Your penis has a Texan accent!

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  8. Comin thro' the rye, poor body,
    Comin thro' the rye,
    She draigl't a' her petticoatie,
    Comin thro' the rye!

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  9. Okay. That pic has seriously freaked my shit right out the door!

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  10. I do love a good singalong:

    I'm A Wanker (Ivor Biggun)

    My mother said
    that I never should
    Play with the naughty rude girls in the wood
    Their giggling talk I could never understood
    And thats why I fell in love with my right hand

    (Chorus)
    And thats why
    I'm a wanker
    I'm a wanker
    And does it good like it bloody well should
    I'm a wanker
    I'm a wanker
    And im always pulling my pudd

    I was 25 years old
    before I was kissed
    and then I found the guy prefered
    a swift one off the wrist
    Its cheap and convenient
    and you cant catch VD
    Its avalible at anytime and its absolutly free

    (Chorus)
    And thats why
    I'm a wanker
    I'm a wanker
    And it does me good like it bloody well should
    I'm wanker
    I'm a wanker
    and im always pulling my pudd

    Oh Mrs Palm
    and your 5 lovely daughters
    Thank you for having me
    and being oh so kind
    I've got pains in my arms
    and my donkeys growing shorter
    My knees have turnt to water
    And I think im going blind

    I've wanked over Italy
    I've wanked over Spain
    I've wanked in an omibus
    I've even had a wank in a train

    I've used a badger
    and a melon
    and a cat
    a inflatable Linda Lovelace
    and a David Crocket hat

    (Chorus)
    And thats why
    I'm a wanker
    I'm a wanker
    and it does me good like it bloody well should
    I'm a wanker
    I'm a wanker
    and im always pulling my pudd

    Oh Mrs Palm
    and your 5 lovely daughters
    Thank you for having me
    and being oh so kind
    I've pains in my arms
    and my donkeys growing shorter
    My knees have turnt to water
    And I think im going blind

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  11. XL: Comin thro' the rye, poor body,
    Comin thro' the rye,
    She draigl't a' her petticoatie,
    Comin thro' the rye!


    *offers XL a wee dram*

    MICHAEL GUY: Okay. That pic has seriously freaked my shit right out the door!

    Penis cries out…

    “Michael! Come baaacckkk, Michaelllllll!

    CYBERPOOF: I beg you pardon!

    You heard me.

    MITZI: Pure poetry.

    Makes me want to go out and buy the complete works of Ivor Biggun.

    And for those who want to listen to 'I’m a Wanker', click here.

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  12. I don't care WHAT the freakin' penis says, MY Va JAY JAY say WATCH THOSE TEETH!! Tongue, you can stay!

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  13. In Soviet Russia, penis tongues you.

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  14. *shudder*

    this one freaks me out. I call it,

    FREAKY FRIDAY.

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  15. My penis sings "Hard Day's Night".

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  16. Mine would say, "Stop pointing at me."

    It would sing, "Beat It," of course.

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  17. "Convoy"
    ...aint she a beautiful sight!

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  18. Good lord, don't we have enough to floss already?

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  19. BITCHES WHO COMMENTED AFTER 9:00 AM: Mistress MJ had a long day and needs to create Saturday’s post and have a cocktail or 3.

    She is delighted by all your comments and your charming musical penises.

    Let’s hear it for the skin flute section!

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  20. It would look in the mirror and say, "Hello, Gorgeous!"

    And it would sing, "I Wanna Dance with Somebody."

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  21. " I can't give you anything but love, baby!" as done by Dean Martin.

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  22. I'm still too traumatised to take part.

    I need a drink.

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  23. "thank you all for coming....my first number will be alleghany moon."

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