Wednesday, March 25, 2020

New Product

The Infomaniac House of Beauty and the Infomaniac Medical Clinic combine to bring you a product for our times, seen here modelled by Miss Scarlet...


Before we can market it to the masses, it needs a name. It also needs a promotional blurb; something that will convince the public to buy it. 

Suggestions?

32 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. JON: For those who still have their game on.

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  2. Jon beat me to it!
    The Trout Face - Making pouting safe for everyone! Made from silk microfibre, and silver scales to keep bugs at bay.
    Sx

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    Replies
    1. MISS SCARLET: Is a butter stick involved?

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    2. I think a butter stick is advisable, just in case.
      Sx

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    3. I hope you had MJ disinfect that thing before you modeled that Scarlet?

      *hands over ultra violet light*

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  3. The Infomaniac-19!

    Now, protect your epidermis, while pampering your skin with natural "treats".

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    Replies
    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: When I hear the word “treats,” I think only of CAKE.

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  4. Replies
    1. MR. DeVice: The Mistress personally supervised Miss Scarlet’s costume changes.

      By the way, she’s not wearing knickers!

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    2. I will deal with this in the morning!
      Sx

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    3. Ha! You made me say "under where?". And happy belated birthday, IDV!

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  5. Firstly, let me say that Scarlet
    has never looked so fetching.

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    Replies
    1. Hmmm....tut.
      You too could look nearly as fetching as moi with a trout face mask, Ms Norma.
      Sx

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  6. Been trying to come up with the perfect marketing strategy. This is the best I have so far...

    Infomaniac Rind. Keep your pith safe and your fruit safer.

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  7. Hoping Testosterone is doing okay. Lord knows what he/she could compose with regards to my end of times vagina.

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    Replies
    1. NORMA: Has it turned to dust, yet?

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    2. Norma dear, your concern lifts me from my puddle of tears and concern for kitsch (without garish excess, what will we have to discuss?).

      Back to you, dearest.

      Norma dear,
      with well tread gash,
      Hoard butter sticks,
      instead of cash.

      Your gristle cunt,
      and you know it is,
      can try to bunt,
      though sans jhiz.

      It's strike three,
      thousand or so,
      the men who rut,
      no bone they throw.

      Your end time clit,
      a stalactite now,
      sees less dick, then
      a farm factory sow.

      Suggest you file
      a useful notch,
      hang your satchel,
      or a velvet bag of Scotch.

      Time to repurpose
      your glory hole of old,
      douche with muriatic acid,
      to inhibit the mold.

      Such drastic times,
      between your legs,
      reeking of shrimp juice,
      and old cheezy eggs.

      Norma I send you,
      self-distanced joy,
      add sand to your lube,
      a power tool to your toy.

      End times indeed,
      your slathers complete,
      mankind's open offer,
      ain't worth your bleat.






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    3. If we needed a reason for humanity to go on, I think we need look no further than the sublime poetry above.

      Armageddon. . .BAH!

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    4. I agree, Norma. That was truly inspirational poetry for our times.

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  8. Smoking and heavy drinking is a detriment to ones health and physical appearance. Just five minutes a day wearing the Lynne Perrie 2000 will quickly reduces the bloating in your face and removes those tell tale spider veins that screams alkie.

    NB. Abusing the Lynne Perrie 2000 by leaving it on for longer than the stated time may result in you looking permanently like Gail from Coronation Street and having no other ambition in life other than to play the same old character in a soap opera for 40 odd years.

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    Replies
    1. I always preferred Suzie Birchall, myself. Jx

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    2. How has Gail managed to snag FIVE husbands?

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    3. How did she outlive all but one of them? Jx

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  9. I think Suzie Birchall has been in an episode of Buggernation Street.

    By using her feminine wiles e.g. fluttering her eyelashes and telling everyone she has no gag reflex.

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  10. Oh, you mean the Sensory Deprivation and Exfoliation Masque?

    "Put it on. We'll let you know when it's al over."

    ReplyDelete