Monday, December 20, 2010

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Cold enough for you?

Carry your muff with you at all times.
[via]

Mistress MJ should have been laughing at Jimmy Carr’s jokes this evening from her seat at London’s Hammersmith Apollo...


I was also looking forward to my first pantomime: Snow White and the Seven Poofs at Leicester Square Theatre.


My intention was to spend the Christmas season in London and Paris but circumstances altered my travel plans.

Cancel my flight!

Nonetheless, it’s good to be here with all you bitches.

And I do love a cold, snowy night to cuddle up by the hearth and listen to my fave tunes; cocktail in hand.

This song (well, the whole album, really) by Melody Gardot is on heavy rotation at Infomaniac headquarters and is particularly well-suited for such an evening.

Close your eyes and enjoy. Or skip the clip and move on to our question.



So…How are you spending your chilly nights?

36 comments:

  1. under the damn covers, sugar! xoxox

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  2. Oh, it's laundry nite at chez xl. The only excitement is a growing pile of lint.

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  3. You don't know what I'm doing right now..?
    I am zooming around the internets looking for abandoned cocktails...
    ...And I always find many half drunk drinks here.
    SLUURP!
    (we will talk about the shades of lipsticks I find on the rims at another time.... I mean, Tangerine!, really?).

    Sorry you have become dislocated...
    xoxox

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  4. First, love the leopard shorts. Leopard is so "in" this year.

    I spend my winter nights in my sweats with three dogs stuck to my hip. Chihuahuas? yeah, they don't winter so much.

    I'm also planning a little partee and hearby invite all Infomaniacs....... XL has already sent his RSVP.

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  5. i'm loving this singer mj and i am so fussy.

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  6. My chilly nights are being spent sleeping, enjoying a good movie or book and just trying to stay warm! Tonight I walked in the frigid rain home from the store because I napped a little too long!


    Gotta say, those shorts wouldn't do a lick of help in these harsh conditions!

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  7. Is that the Miss Joan Collins panto?

    Just got up and am preparing for the first of my two last work days of the year. Mmmmmmm

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  8. I will be preparing handmade gifts for several local orphans. On Christmas Eve, we'll all gather here at my modest, but charming home where I'll hand out presents, and we'll make cookies and sting popcorn and laugh and laugh. Then I'll drug the little bastards, give them large-ish enemas and sell them to a man I know from Juarez. It's all part of NAFTA.

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  9. That leopard skin Muff Warmer should be just the ticket...
    Great music Mistress, perfect to listen to while enjoying a Hot Toddy... or one of his friends....

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  10. I'm definitely going to have to borrow that muff.

    I spent my evening in the company of Criminal Minds, on my couch, drinking sherry under a blanket.

    You were coming to London and you didn't tell me?! You're as bad as XL. Give a girl some notice damnit.

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  11. PS. I am sorry your travel plans have been cancelled. That sucks.

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  12. SAVANNAH: under the damn covers, sugar!

    Beware of Dutch ovens.

    XL: Oh, it's laundry nite at chez xl. The only excitement is a growing pile of lint.

    Collect enough of it and you could become part of the National Lint Project.

    WALLY: You don't know what I'm doing right now..?
    I am zooming around the internets looking for abandoned cocktails...
    ...And I always find many half drunk drinks here.
    SLUURP!
    (we will talk about the shades of lipsticks I find on the rims at another time.... I mean, Tangerine!, really?).
    Sorry you have become dislocated...


    Tangerine lipstick?

    Oh, that’s Peenee’s.

    BOXER: First, love the leopard shorts. Leopard is so "in" this year.
    I spend my winter nights in my sweats with three dogs stuck to my hip. Chihuahuas? yeah, they don't winter so much.
    I'm also planning a little partee and hearby invite all Infomaniacs....... XL has already sent his RSVP.


    A party?

    Will there be cake?

    NORMADESMOND: i'm loving this singer mj and i am so fussy.

    I highly recommend her “My One and Only Thrill” CD, Ms. Desmond.

    MANDA: My chilly nights are being spent sleeping, enjoying a good movie or book and just trying to stay warm! Tonight I walked in the frigid rain home from the store because I napped a little too long!
    Gotta say, those shorts wouldn't do a lick of help in these harsh conditions!


    You were napping at the store?

    Has shopping become THAT tedious for you?

    CYBERPOOF: Is that the Miss Joan Collins panto?
    Just got up and am preparing for the first of my two last work days of the year. Mmmmmmm


    No, it’s NOT the Miss Joan Collins panto.

    Not everything revolves around Alexis Carrington, you know.

    Although she might have liked a character in this panto named “Prince Donkey Dick.”

    PEENEE: I will be preparing handmade gifts for several local orphans. On Christmas Eve, we'll all gather here at my modest, but charming home where I'll hand out presents, and we'll make cookies and sting popcorn and laugh and laugh. Then I'll drug the little bastards, give them large-ish enemas and sell them to a man I know from Juarez. It's all part of NAFTA.

    And the angel Peenee gets his wings.

    It’s a wonderful life.

    PRINCESS: That leopard skin Muff Warmer should be just the ticket...
    Great music Mistress, perfect to listen to while enjoying a Hot Toddy... or one of his friends....


    Preferably both, dear Princess.

    ROSES: I'm definitely going to have to borrow that muff.
    I spent my evening in the company of Criminal Minds, on my couch, drinking sherry under a blanket.
    You were coming to London and you didn't tell me?! You're as bad as XL. Give a girl some notice damnit.
    PS. I am sorry your travel plans have been cancelled. That sucks.


    But only for a few days before I zipped off to gay Paree.

    And my dance card was full!

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  13. Chilly nights?
    I have central heating and a woodburning stove; it gets so hot that my Smeg fridge freezer has been known to sweat.
    Sx

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  14. A hot bath is a nice thing, I'm a fool for it.

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  15. SCARLET: Chilly nights?
    I have central heating and a woodburning stove; it gets so hot that my Smeg fridge freezer has been known to sweat.


    Sweaty smeg.

    MAGO: A hot bath is a nice thing, I'm a fool for it.

    “Baby I’m a Fool” is another lovely choice from her CD.

    I quite enjoy all the dancing houseboys around her bathtub.

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  16. And there's a nice foot emerging.

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  17. Last night I baked sugar cookies and started knitting a new scarf. This morning I'm having a scorned woman bloody mary.

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  18. MAGO: And there's a nice foot emerging.

    That’s your cue to massage the Mistress’s dainty feet.

    HAYWARD: Last night I baked sugar cookies and started knitting a new scarf. This morning I'm having a scorned woman bloody mary.

    You’re quite the little Suzy Homemaker, aren’t you?

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  19. I have found that a nipple-test is the best temperature gauge.

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  20. I've posted aboot what I do to cope with Winter and when I find a winner I stick with it. There is no logical rationale or excuse for living in this climate...except for the fact that it destroys bacteria and keeps the riff-raff oot.

    For decades I've tried to justify my global postioning. Now I accept the fact that I just need to hunker down rub my hands over something hot and try to come up with some new positions.

    You do whatcha gotta do.

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  21. HEFF: I have found that a nipple-test is the best temperature gauge.

    Then again, there’s the shrinkage test.

    DONN: I've posted aboot what I do to cope with Winter and when I find a winner I stick with it. There is no logical rationale or excuse for living in this climate...except for the fact that it destroys bacteria and keeps the riff-raff oot.
    For decades I've tried to justify my global postioning. Now I accept the fact that I just need to hunker down rub my hands over something hot and try to come up with some new positions.
    You do whatcha gotta do.


    Why don’t you try stuffing your hands into a muff?

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  22. You still need to rub them together because stuffing cold hands into a muff may cause sudden and violent reactions culminating in unconsciousness and sleeping on the couch.

    Can I get an Amen!?

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  23. I'm watching re-runs of Last Of The Summer Wine and flicking through holiday brochures.

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  24. DONN: You still need to rub them together because stuffing cold hands into a muff may cause sudden and violent reactions culminating in unconsciousness and sleeping on the couch.
    Can I get an Amen!?


    Hallelujah!

    May we suggest creating a little friction on your own before you proceed?

    Just a little, mind you.

    Oooops…too late.

    Come again, Brother Donn.

    MITZI: I'm watching re-runs of Last Of The Summer Wine and flicking through holiday brochures.

    I’m flicking my bean.

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  25. NO! Alexis Colby is life.

    I'm sure Miss Collins would love it if you came to her panto

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  26. I actually have an evening off
    Yippeeee!!!!!
    I will be eating
    and reclining on your favourite fireside rug

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  27. CYBERPOOF: NO! Alexis Colby is life.
    I'm sure Miss Collins would love it if you came to her panto


    Are you referring to her Queen Rat role in Dick Whittington?

    BEAST: I actually have an evening off
    Yippeeee!!!!!
    I will be eating
    and reclining on your favourite fireside rug


    For the love of all that is holy, don’t tell me you’re nekkid on that rug.

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  28. Mr Beastliness, don't tell MJ, SHOW her!

    Why not send her your own version of that wonderful Burt Reynolds spread in Cosmo back in the 70s.

    I know that this made a huge impression on MJ during the developmental stages of her sexual awakening during those tender formative years.

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  29. This is just the weather that one should be worried about titty hardons.

    Our Christmas will be a quiet one this year with just my Honey and I and the wee-small dog.

    Christmas day will be spent lounging, watching movies, napping and feasting on our traditional Christmas Lasagna.

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  30. DONN: Mr Beastliness, don't tell MJ, SHOW her!
    Why not send her your own version of that wonderful Burt Reynolds spread in Cosmo back in the 70s.
    I know that this made a huge impression on MJ during the developmental stages of her sexual awakening during those tender formative years.


    Burt Reynolds did what?

    Oh, blimey!

    Please do NOT encourage Beast to strike up this pose.

    COOKIE: This is just the weather that one should be worried about titty hardons.
    Our Christmas will be a quiet one this year with just my Honey and I and the wee-small dog.
    Christmas day will be spent lounging, watching movies, napping and feasting on our traditional Christmas Lasagna.


    Your day sounds perfect.

    Take pictures for us if titty hardons crop up.

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  31. That's the one dear.

    I wish I could go see it.

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  32. Of course, not every place is cold - and I'm almost embarrassed to admit I spent an hour this afternoon in and beside my pool.

    If it makes anyone feel better, I do have my winter-length shorts on today...

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  33. CYBERPOOF: That's the one dear.
    I wish I could go see it.


    Well it looks like neither one of us will be seeing any panto this Christmas, doesn’t it?

    ROXY: Of course, not every place is cold - and I'm almost embarrassed to admit I spent an hour this afternoon in and beside my pool.
    If it makes anyone feel better, I do have my winter-length shorts on today...


    Mind you don’t get your beehive wet.

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  34. Poor Burt still didn't have a wenis back then....I nkow i had the magnifying glass out and all for tht issue...
    Oh Bueanos Nochas Senor Donn...

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  35. Darling, I'm so sorry your plans were screwed up by weather. What's with the weather, anyway, and why can't we stop it? We put men on the moon, we discovered rice pudding, we invented Fleshlights and Astroglide, but we can't control the weather. It doesn't make sense.

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  36. PRINCESS: Poor Burt still didn't have a wenis back then....I nkow i had the magnifying glass out and all for tht issue...
    Oh Bueanos Nochas Senor Donn...


    Mistress MJ cannot see why women ever found him appealing.

    Do NOT make me watch Cannonball Run and Smokey and the Bandit to gain an understanding.

    STACIA: Darling, I'm so sorry your plans were screwed up by weather. What's with the weather, anyway, and why can't we stop it? We put men on the moon, we discovered rice pudding, we invented Fleshlights and Astroglide, but we can't control the weather. It doesn't make sense.

    That reminds me… I need new batteries.

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