Thursday, May 17, 2007

Pics of Your Pricks

Bitches, stop sending me pics of yer dicks.

I know how much you enjoyed it when I solicited photos of yer arses but I did NOT request pics of your peckers. (Well, except for that knob shot Frobi promised me. Which I haven’t received yet.)

My email inbox was overflowing yesterday with penis pics. Unfortunately, my work colleagues were within viewing distance of my PC screen. So enough with the pocket rocket pics!

Caution: Naughty pics coming up!

So what to do with all these wondrous willy photos? Post ‘em of course!

Here’s a sample of the dozens I received …

Stevey’s Bendy Bit is legendary. This photo illustrates why…

Next, SID’s wee willy. Try not to laugh or cause him further humiliation…

SID’s teensy weensy Holy water sprinkler (actual size)

IVF should put an end to cruising for trannies in the Tesco’s parking lot. You don’t know where those ladyboys have been. Look at the state of IVF’s fiddlestick…

IVF’s warty weenie

John (formerly known as Piggy) trying to lure Martin (formerly known as Tazzy) into a night of Barnsley bumfun…

You’ve all seen Eddie Waring’s hairy arse. Now see his hairy Homewrecker…

Don’t ask me what the numbers mean. Maybe Waring can explain.

And let’s not forget Biggus Dickus Vicus

Nice winged sandals

Then there’s that perv, Dirty Tony and, as he calls it, his “Polish Sausage Pizza.” Special delivery. “If it works with a popcorn box, why not try it with a pizza box?” laughed Tony. For confidentiality reasons, I’ve had to crop the pic of the young lady who was sampling his wares…

And finally…

Old Knudsen emailed me a pic of his clam hammer.

Knuddie affectionately calls it “Squirmin’ Herman the One-Eyed German.” I giggled at that.

Anyway, Knudsen’s Big Willy is of monstrous proportions (think Nessie the sea monster) so I couldn’t reduce the photo to fit on this page.

As luck would have it, Knudsen was doing some research for a posting he's doing on the Royals with the working title, “The Royal Family Can Suck My Saggy Scrotum.”

Knudsen “came upon” this photo of Prince Harry. If you’ll recall yesterday’s posting “How’s It Hangin’ Eh?”… we addressed the issue of whether your meat and two veg hang to the right in your trousers or to your left.

Looks like Harry’s swings to the left…

Happy Harry Hard-On

I think we’ve all seen enough now, don’t you?

Remember. No more pics of your dicks. Pricks.


  1. Wow! Happy Harry Has a Huge one!

    I'm a little concerned with the state of mine - One of those Ladyboys must've come from Yorkshire...

  2. Quiet here today, innit?

  3. That pic of IVF scared 'em all off.

  4. You Managed to Capture The Essential Me Well Done!

  5. * cicada chirping *

    * tumbleweeds blowing by *

  6. Did somebody press the mute button in here?

  7. *waits for the other shoe to drop*

  8. *laughs at pictures sent to other bloggers*

    *laughs even louder at comments*

  9. Catches up from yesterday's post.

    I hang to the right and switch between boxers and briefs depending on my mood and weather.

    You should do a post on whether the left or right tit is bigger.

    With pics to prove it.

    *thinks MJ would have to stand on a stool to measure*

  10. CONNIE: Please elaborate on the boxers/briefs mood indicator system.

    *shoves Connie off the stool and trips over his elongated old man balls*

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  13. Boxers/briefs indicator.

    Depends if I'm up or down.

  14. My little toe is bigger than that wee willie! That's some awful looking peckers. Good thing it's dark when they use 'em.

  15. CONNIE: What if you’re having mood swings?

    MYTOES: John does it with a spotlight on him.

    It’s more of a Broadway production, really.

    And Martin is expected to applaud at the end.

  16. The numbers are inch markers. It may not be very long but it's got a hell of a girth on it.

    Thanks for the warty pic. Real fuckin' appetizing. I won't be eating Rice Krispies for a while....

  17. It's longer than SID's.

    Snap, crackle, pop.

  18. Suddenly my taste for having bratwurst for dinner tomorrow has disappeared.

    Maybe mashed potatoes and ground beef shall do the trick.

  19. AWA: I had bangars and mash for dinner.

  20. oops! Sorry I thought that there was no end to these pricks and commented on ((shudders))Wartson Willie EEWWW from Wartson, Ontario on another 'post'!

    You totally grossed out my therapist, gardner, and manicurist this morning, way to go mj!

  21. HE: Did you get a French manicure with white tips?

    How about little sparkly jewels cemented into the nail bed?

  22. Sid, there are pills for that!

  23. RICH: That warty cock belongs to our resident witch, IVF aka Inexplicable Device. The resemblance to Knudsen's is remarkable though, isn't it?

    MYTOES: Don't encourage the Stupid Oirish Cunt.