Friday, May 18, 2007

Slave For A Day

As much as I love to boss you bitches around, the stiletto shoe is on the other foot today and today only.

It’s your turn to tell me what to do. (Not that I’ll listen to a word you say.)

Tell me what you’d make me do if I was your slave for a day.

While you’re thinking it over, I’m heading down to the job centre…


  1. You can weed me garden,clean out my gutters,polish my brass and service the old boiler.

  2. You can start by posting something much fucking better than this cop-out!

    Then, you can make an appointment at the vet for Old Knudsy and have him put out of his misery.

    Then, you can post some nekkid pics of IVF (they do exist - your task is to convince him to send them to you).

  3. I think you should be kind and loving to all those that you meet. Hold doors open, carry people's shopping for them, have a sunny disposition and radiate harmony.

  4. KNUDSEN: If I polish any of your goods, it’ll be “spit” and polish.

    M and J: You can start by sending me those nekkid pics of IVF. I know you’re hoarding them for yourself. Probably some kind of tawdry subscription service.

    How is he posed?

    VICUS: Blow me.

  5. Our hot tap in the kitchen will be dripping until Sunday. You can catch the drips in your mouth because at the moment it sounds like Chinese water torture.

  6. GEOFF: I've already caught the drip once. That was enough, thanks.

  7. You could start by going to work for me here on the Island. Actually, how about we trade lives and you can come home to dickhead tonight and I'll go to Vancouver. It'll be easy, just close your eyes and think of ....

  8. PISSOFF: That's just crazy talk.

    You know BC Ferries has a five sailing wait on the long weekend.

  9. Do you know anything about pies?? Oh - I know - you could take me for a walk!!

  10. MUTLEY: Should I bring the pooper scooper?

  11. difficult to say... i wouldn't trust you near the cheese, for one thing.

    not that we, um, have any.

    cheese, that is.

    nope, no cheese.

    noooooooo cheese here.

  12. Just post a pic of yourself over at my place.

    Doesn't matter if it's badly drawn..we all know you would look like that in real life!

  13. You don't know how true that Job is. Or was, I should say. The fetish club was only a couple of hundred metres from where the Host works. It's shut now - they only had their license for a year. They were recently fined and shut down because they 'traded' past the license date.

    For real!

    And there are no naked pics of me.

    To the best of my knowledge...

  14. M and J: Suck on my blow hole.

    FN: The only cheese on here is from IVF’s pic in the previous posting.

    SID: Keep your pants on…. please.

    Just give me a few minutes and you’ll have your pic.

    IVF: No nekkid IVF pics?

    Well if the rest of you is as warty as that willy, I can see why.

  15. It's a witch, so of course it's warty.

  16. Have a good long weekend MJ. Rest up and have a good time.

    Now go to it! :)

  17. M and J: IVF’s warts are contagious.

    I hope you haven’t ridden his broomstick.

    EDDIE: Lotion? Don’t tell me you still have that nasty rash?!

    CHELLY: Have a good May two-four!

  18. MJ..M and J know that already.

  19. SID: Are you M and J's new spokesperson?

    Do I have to go through you now as their interpreter?

  20. I could use someone to change the engine back plate, on the motor I just fitted into the car.

    You any use with a spanner?

  21. TICKERS: I'm no use with a spanner. Although I've been called a tool.

    HE: I suppose you want to use the Braille edition.

  22. Im Late Again!
    you could be my PA And see to my Diary then i would never be late in future.

  23. TONY: Late again? I hope it's not twins.