Wednesday, May 16, 2007

How’s It Hangin’, Eh?

Fellas, how do you hang?

Do you “dress right” or “dress left?”

On which side do you pack your package?


Are your meat and two veg offside in your trousers? Or in the centre? Or is the meat off to one side and the veg to the other?

And is your package pointing up? Or down ?

Does the way you adjust your stuff have anything to do with being left or right handed?

Do you lean one way politically but dress in the other direction?

Do you switch sides if you’re wearing boxers instead of briefs?

Do you reposition your goods when you sit down? Or stand up?

If you favour one side, is it uncomfortable to switch to the other?

And for those of you (Stevey) with a pronounced curvature, is apparatus adjustment a big issue for you? Do you experience southern discomfort?

And lay-dees? Just because you don’t have the equipment doesn’t mean you can’t participate in this important study. Let us know what you’ve observed.

Don’t be shy. Tell us about how you hang.


  1. I hang em from the neck until they are dead.

    Long loose and full of juice or short tight and covered in shite? that is the question.

  2. I've observed that having a penis seems like a bit of a headache. My husband says mostly whether dressed to left or right it's a bit uncomfortable in trousers. I don't really understand why kilts never took off.

  3. I think you find most men dress to the left (being right handed most men keep stuff in right hand pocket - so more room on l/h side)

    I wore my X-men pants the other day and my balls ached all day, and I constantly had to re-arrange myself. I prefer boxers.

  4. I never wear underwear, much preferring to go commando. So it doesn't matter whether mine is to the left or the right, it'll swing merrily of it's own accord anyway.

    By going commando though, it means that my trousers always have a shit streak on the seam near my arse, despite cleaning my arse properly before anyone says anything.

    Thankfully, I dont have to wash them.

  5. If only Zidane had done this to Mazerati - the world cup could have ended differently. I'd love to know what the other bloke is saying.

    Oh ... m and j - far too much information.

  6. I'm not touching this one. I don't look at other guy's bulges and if I'm looking at Geo's, I'm not concentrating on where it is.

    Now, if this were on boobs, then that would be a a different story.

  7. KNUDSEN: You have to sling it ‘round yer neck to keep from tripping over it, don't you?

    VICUS: Haven’t you had enough titillation for one week?

    Did that arse-whipping not satisfy your deviant desires?

    EMMA: Wouldn’t wearing a kilt cause chafing of the willie?

    SPIKEY: Sorry to hear about your shrinky dink.

    Plastic surgeons are working miracles these days with phalloplasty.

    FROBI: I found this advice to men, written in 1876…

    “Carry your sexual organs towards the left thigh, where Nature makes the largest place for them.”

    Are you wearing your big boy’s pants now?

    M and J: You need industrial strength bog roll. And a bidet.

    Then go to the nearest fire station and have them hose down yer arse.

    KAZ: I’m still waiting for you to call M and J “cunts.” G’won.

    MAIDY: You lying bitch.

    You do so check out other men’s packages. You’re just saying you don’t because Geo might be reading this.

  8. *laffs*

    That would seem so, but seriously, I don't.

  9. Ah! There Hangs A Tale...........

  10. There's going to be a hangin tonight!!!

  11. Yes M and J you do go commando and it leaves streaks on car seats, sofas and kitchen chairs.

    Anyway..whats sarong with men wearing skirts?

    Hang low sweet chariot.

  12. MAIDY: I like to crotch watch and see if I can tell what religion they are.

    TONY: So tell us the tale of YOUR tail, then.

    RICH: Hang ‘em high.

    SID: Why don’t YOU wear a skirt then, Braveheart?

    We’d like to see you flounce about in a skirt but make sure it’s a flattering style to hide your figure flaws.

  13. His figure flaws... I liked that!

    And he can't flounce. Bounce maybe, but not flounce.

    *starts to sing the 'Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down' song*

  14. M and J: *sings along to Weebles wobble*

    SID looks a bit like that purple Teletubby.. what's his name?

    Oh yes. Tinky Winky.

    Or is that the name he calls his wee willie?

  15. This reminds me of the Host's meeting at work last week. Sat opposite us was one of the more 'intriguing' men in our office. He definitely dresses to the left. Nevermind a baby's arm down there - it looked like the whole baby had been stuffed in his pants!

    As for ourself, we aim for discretion and go for centre stage but after a couple of hours things are going right.

  16. Cunts!

    She meant figure flawless.

    Yes, and it's nice to know the Teletubbies are educating the adult Canuck population too.

    Though it's probably too advanced.

  17. IVF: Perhaps it was twins.

    As for you, I picture you in a “broomstick skirt”, of course.

    SID: Is that a family-sized packet of Doritos in your red handbag?

    *pokes SID’s belly and notes its Blaa-like consistency*

  18. You forgot to mention the squelching noise MJ.

  19. It's a bit like that noise IVF's arse makes.

  20. If the pants are tight it hangs to the right. I have to wear breifs to keep it all packaged up. Commando...sometimes but not often. Only when the wash is backed up!!

  21. M and J: It’s not just the squelching.

    It’s that girlish giggle when I poke SID in the belly. Like “Poppin’ Fresh” the Pillsbury Doughboy.

    MYTOES: I’d hate to think what would happen if that trouser snake got loose!

  22. Sometimes it does. I don't run much.

  23. That squelching noise only occurs when my arse is immitating what comes out of your filthy mouths M&J!

  24. It can retract for hours and play cards with the prostate while the testes wilt in the heat of leather pants at the disco.

    Now where is my brain scrubber that warty willy was cruel and unusual((shudders)) .

  25. I last wore underwear October 13, 1985. It was my first day of freedom after 4 years in the Army. I don't own a single pair of underpants. My equipment goes wherever it wants of its own accord. I don't have to tuck it to either side.

  26. BOOKMONGER: Here's to freedom!

    *raises glass and toasts*