Too Lazy To Post Today

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Cravings

What are you craving?

World’s Most Expensive Pork Scratchings

The world’s most expensive pork scratchings arrived chez Infomaniac today by Royal Mail.






Addressed to: Madame MJ.

Sender: Yorkshire’s Fave Poofs, Piggy and Tazzy

Special Note on the parcel: Good news! Your sex toy is enclosed!




Scratchings stainage and seepage.


I’ve been waiting for this package of pork scratchings for how long? Since September 15th! That’s when Piggy and Tazzy originally mailed the parcel.

Luckily, the scratchings arrived before March 24, 2007 – their best-by date.






But the Royal Mail (obviously not hand-delivered by England’s fave postie, Steve) had other plans for the scratchings.


Piggy and Tazzy sent the scratchings to me only to have them arrive back at their house complete with a stuck-on-to-the-front note stating that the parcel was undeliverable. And they had the cheek to charge Pig and Taz £4 for returning it to them! But as Piggy said, “Cheeky cunts. They can bloody whistle for it, the incompetent bastards.”

And, said Piggy, like complete twats, they also didn’t bother to let them know WHY it was undeliverable.




80 grams of piggy heaven. Note on packet: “Only recommended for people with strong, healthy teeth.” In other words, wee rodents like the one pictured here.


So Piggy and Tazzy sent the parcel off again by Royal Mail on October 10th. They were told it would take 5 working days to arrive in Canada. It’s just arrived now on November 27th. Way to go Royal Mail!!!

And who knows how much money they’ve spent on sending and resending these scratchings? A fortune! That’s all their fag money spent for the month.




Ingredients: Pork Rind, Pork Fat, Salt, Flavour Enhancer, Monosodium Glutamate, Hydrolysed Vegetable Protein, Rusk (Wheatflour, Salt), Dextrose, Colours, Paprika Extract, Ammonia Caramel.



Oh, and Piggy? Get ready to fork over even more cash as you owe Tazzy £10 for that bet on whether or not I’d like them. I do. (Once I got past the vomit-inducing stench of them.) They’re an acquired taste, and I’ve only eaten a few so far, but I didn’t spit ‘em out so you owe Tazzy £10.

And ta very much fellas!

Oh Canada

Thank you everyone (even Piggy) for your comments and suggestions yesterday on my 500th posting.

Vicus suggested I blog about politics.

Well Vicus, take a good hard look at this pic of Canada’s Prime Minister.




Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada and leader of the Conservative Party of Canada


That, my friend, is why I have no interest in blogging about politics.

But feel free to give it a caption.

Infomaniac’s 500th Posting

Yay! This is Infomaniac’s 500th posting!

Sorry, no cake. I’m saving that for this blog’s 1st anniversary party in March.

As it happens, my favourite Irishman and I are sharing simultaneous celebrations. Stupid Irish Daddy (SID) celebrates his 200th posting as I celebrate my 500th. Please note that’s only TWO hundred posts for SID since December 2005 compared to my FIVE hundred posts since March 2006. Do the math. Lazy Irish bastard.

But now let’s get back to ME!

Tell me what type of content you’d like to see for the next 500 postings on Infomaniac. Ideas? Complaints? Suggestions?

Disclaimer: Note that Infomaniac has the right to ignore all suggestions and will probably do what she pleases, as she always does anyway.

Thanks so very much for visiting Infomaniac time and time again. Come visit anytime!

I Wanna Be An Ikette

If you could travel back in time to any era, who would you want to be just for a day?

I wanna be one of the Ikettes.

The Ikettes were the all-female backup singers/dancers for the Ike & Tina Turner Revue in the 1960s.

But just one day as an Ikette would be enough. Ike didn’t pay them much, the Ikettes didn’t receive royalties, and I’ve heard you had to sleep with Ike Turner to keep your job. (Check out the video below. Ike’s the one in the red jump suit. Enough said.)


Ike & Tina Turner – River Deep, Mountain High




And it gets stronger in every way.
And it gets deeper, let me say.
And it gets higher day by day.

Marshmallow Shooter

In my previous posting in the comments, it appears that Maidink and Piggy are about to get into a food fight involving marshmallows. So I’m giving you a posting all your own here to fight it out.

Everyone else feel free to jump in as well and get mucky.

Here ya go… get yourselves a Marshmallow Shooter.

RUTH BROWN: January 30, 1928 – November 17, 2006

R&B pioneer Ruth Brown (Miss Rhythm) died November 17th at age 78.

That she was a sassy, spirited singer goes without saying.

She also helped create the Rhythm & Blues Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to the historical and cultural preservation of R&B, and providing financial and medical assistance to former R&B and Motown musicians.

Here’s Ruth Brown singing (Mama) He Treats Your Daughter Mean…

Disco Mausoleum

Disco Mausoleum: A site dedicated to disco divas in Heaven.


The divine Divine sings I’m So Beautiful...






Update: And as a bonus track for our Frobi (who, after his telly debut, is under the weather following a dodgy guacamole,) here is Divine singing Native Love…








Via [Lady Bunny]

The Museum of Celebrity Leftovers

Pete Doherty’s panini


Celebrities who drop by the Old Boatstore Café in Kingsand, Cornwall and don’t finish what’s on their plate may find their leftovers on display under glass. The food scraps are on show in the Museum of Celebrity Leftovers, a specially-erected shelf in the café.

So far the list of celebrity crumbs includes Pete Doherty’s panini, David Bailey’s sandwich crust and John Woodvine’s croissant crust amongst others.

Described as “Cornwall’s smallest museum,” co-owner Michael Bennett hopes to add a David Hockney crumb to his collection one day.

Put A Sock In It!

Montreal Canadiens hockey socks


Witesock, a 41-year old Canadian engineer, collects and wears used sports socks. So far, he’s managed to amass about 800 pair.

His wife, friends and colleagues haven’t a clue about his pastime. It’s his dirty little secret.

Examples from his collection can be found here, a page for those who appreciate authentic game socks, issued and worn by professional football and hockey teams. Other types of socks include baseball, basketball, soccer, rugby and lacrosse.

So if used athletic hosiery is your thing too, be sure to check him out.



Manchester City FC socks

Googly Eyes

Googly eyes on cock!!

Try this at home!

Chet Baker – Let’s Get Lost

Let’s get lost, baby.

MJ Meets Within Without

This weekend I met up with everybody’s favourite gap-toothed personality.






No! Not Alfred E. Neuman!


It’s Canuck blogger Within Without aka WW from Snippets from Spaceship Orion.







Winnipeg-based sportswriter WW was in Vancouver covering the CFL’s West Division Final; in other words, the game that Canadians and Americans call football.

Now, those of you who know me well know that my football (what Canadians and Americans call soccer) involves the Italian diving team and features hooliganism and men in short pants. Not helmets and padding and other accoutrements that cover the goods.

So I figured it would be a short visit, what with our differing views on football. But didn’t WW up and surprise me by being his entertaining self for the evening and I had a good time in his company.

I strongly suggest that when a Canadian blogger calls you, you pick up the phone. You too may be pleasantly surprised.

Thanks for a great evening, WW!

Sexual Revolution Tuesday

Why wait ‘til Wednesday?

Everybody shake it!

Macy Gray - Sexual Revolution

Infomaniac – Open for Business

Infomaniac is open 24/7.

Supposing you could get anything you want here…

What would it be?

Ed Bradley: 1941 – 2006

American journalist Ed Bradley died November 9th of complications from leukemia. He was 65.

CBS takes a look back at Bradley’s body of work.

Toilet Phobia

Suffering from shy bladder syndrome or bashful bowel syndrome?

You may have toilet phobia.

Lest We Forget

On November 11, 1999 Terry Kelly was in a Shoppers Drug Mart store in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. At 10:55 AM an announcement came over the store’s PA asking customers who would still be on the premises at 11:00 AM to give two minutes of silence in respect to the veterans who have sacrificed so much for us.

Terry was impressed with the store’s leadership role in adopting the Legion’s “two minutes of silence” initiative. He felt that the store’s contribution of educating the public to the importance of remembering was commendable.

When eleven o’clock arrived on that day, an announcement was again made asking for the “two minutes of silence” to commence. All customers, with the exception of a man who was accompanied by his young child, showed their respect.

Terry’s anger towards the father for trying to engage the store’s clerk in conversation and for setting a bad example for his child was channeled into a beautiful piece of work called, “A Pittance of Time”. Terry later recorded “A Pittance of Time” and included it on his full-length music CD, “The Power of the Dream”.

Terry Kelly - A Pittance of Time

Male Sex Survey

A few of the findings from a Men’s Health survey of more than 40,000 men in 43 countries on their sexual habits.

Canada-U.S. Relations

(Thanks, Frobi)

Pierre Berton Demonstrates How to Roll a Joint

The late Pierre Berton (1920-2004) was a popular Canadian author/journalist/broadcaster.






In this video clip from Rick Mercer’s Monday Report, Berton demonstrates how to roll a joint. This clip was shot about a month before he died in 2004 at age 84.

Berton told the Toronto Star, "I enjoy the odd joint but I never go overboard. I smoke about once a month to help me relax."




“And remember Canada, it’s the loose joints that tend to fall apart leaving unsightly toke burns on your chairs or on your bowtie. It’s a tragedy we all want to avoid, don’t we?”

Worst Jobs in Science

Corpse flower


Chicken Sexer didn’t make the list of the 10 dirtiest jobs in science this year.

Here’s what made the cut:

Manure Inspector
Orangutan-Pee Collector
Hot-zone Superintendent
Extremophile Excavator
Dysentery Stool Sample Analyzer
Semen Washer
Volcanologist
Carcass Cleaner
Fistula Feeder
Corpse-Flower Grower

Build a 1/5 Scale Sherman Tank

DIY project of the week: Instructions here.

Knickers Day on Infomaniac

First up…

Guide to Buying Used Panties in Tokyo





Japan Probe presents a handy guide to buying women’s dirty knickers in Tokyo.


link via [grow-a-brain]


Next…


Wonderjock: A New Revolution in Men’s Underwear




Aussiebum introduces men’s underwear that lifts and separates.

Gram Parsons: Fallen Angel

Gram Parsons: November 5, 1946 – September 19, 1973

Gram Parsons, former member of the Byrds, the Flying Burrito Brothers, and solo artist, would have been 60 years old today.




Gram in his Nudie suit

Gram died September 19, 1973 in Joshua Tree, California, a part of the Mojave and Sonoran Deserts, at the age of 26.

During the funeral ceremony for Gram's close friend Clarence White, Gram was overheard stating that when he died, rather than being buried in the ground, he would like to be taken out to The Joshua Tree desert of southern California and burned. After Gram died in The Joshua Tree Inn, his body was taken to the Los Angeles International Airport in preparation for being flown to Louisiana for burial. Gram's road manager Phil Kaufman and a friend, Michael Martin, got very intoxicated, borrowed a broken down hearse and drove to LAX to retrieve the body. When they arrived, they told the shipping clerk that Gram's remains were to be sent out of another airport, flashed some bogus paperwork and falsely signed for the body. After crashing into a wall and almost being arrested, Phil, Michael and Gram drove back to The Joshua Tree Desert, stopping only to buy more beer and a container of gasoline. They took Gram's remains into the desert, poured gasoline inside the coffin and set him ablaze. The two were arrested several days later and fined $700.00 for stealing and burning the COFFIN (it was is not against the law to steal a dead body). Gram's partially burned remains were finally laid to rest in a modest cemetery near New Orleans, LA.
-- gramparsons dot com

Joshua tree
Photo © MJ, Infomaniac


Gram’s voice lives on in this heartbreaking duet with Emmylou Harris, “Love Hurts” (scene from Brokeback Mountain)…





Emmylou’s loving, longing tribute song to Gram, “Boulder to Birmingham”…





Baby do you know what I mean



Read all about Gram in Phil Kaufman’s book, Road Mangler Deluxe.

Still miss you, beautiful, poetic, harmonic angel.

The Big Lebowski

Nobody fucks with The Jesus!


Over the past week I’ve been, and I quote, “a lazy cunt.” But there’s someone lazier and I watched his story again last night.

Jeff Lebowski (played by Jeff Bridges) is The Dude. Quite possibly the laziest man in Los Angeles County “which would place him high in the runnin’ for laziest worldwide.”

A Venice, California slacker, The Dude’s daily routine involves smoking pot, drinking white Russians, and bowling.

When The Dude is mistaken by thugs for millionaire Jeffrey Lebowski, his laissez-faire lifestyle is turned upside down.

The Big Lebowski, a Coen Brothers comedy, is a film I revisit from time to time, especially for the following scenes:



A Busby Berkeley-inspired musical dream sequence.

Scattering the deceased’s ashes. (Can’t tell you anymore than that. You gotta see it yourself.)

Jesus Quintana (played by John Turturro) licking his bowling ball as seen here…





No time to watch the entire film? Then watch The Big Lebowski – Fucking Short Version...





The Dude abides.

And if you’re a huge fan of the film, attend the annual Lebowski Fest, an American bowling event featuring all things Lebowski.

What film do you find yourself revisiting?