Tuesday, August 27, 2013

YOUR GARDEN PHOTOS!

Attention hoes!



We're ready to show off your gardens in the THIRD ANNUAL INFOMANIAC GARDEN PHOTOS EVENT!

MITZI:
"I haven't bothered much with the garden this year, as you can see by the photo, nothing has changed...



What do you think of my new house plant? Isn't it gorgeous?...



Margaret (Venus flytrap... I named it after Thatcher.) It's not very good at catching flies though. I have to do the catching for it, armed with a water spray, when the fly becomes too heavy to fly, it drops to the floor and I'm able to pick it up with tweezers. It's very demanding, with all those hungry mouths to feed, but it gives me a thrill like no other. Carmen thinks it's ghoulish."...






MR. PEENEE:
1) Sweet peas running wild in my tiny front flower bed, encouraged, no doubt, by all the urine from the passing dogs...



2) Wall o' jasmine. An absolutely heavenly scent...



3) Crocosmia. An iris relative from South Africa that flourishes here in San Francisco. These are just a stand that I didn't plant and just volunteered, god love them...




HUGGY JON:
"Voici notre petit jardin de balcon."
(Here is our little balcony garden.)

"Way on the top of the first photo you can see a few cosmos; then the big yellow ones are some kind of coreopsis but I'm not sure exactly; then the petunias (light purple) and the big red one is a Pelargonium. I don't know what are the small yellow ones among the petunias."...



"Here you have some calibrachoa (red), verbena (blue) and tagetes (yellow)"...



"On the back balcony, voici des chrysanthemum, pelargoniums et verbena pour cacher la poubelle" (to hide the garbage can)....




MAGO:
"Here are pictures of Plant A and Plant B. As much as I like gardens, be it a strictly ornamental French design, or an English garden, a Japanese stone and gravel arrangement, or a "simple" Bauerngarten in the Hohenlohe - so badly developed is my ability to grow something. Plant A and Plant B are true survivors, indestructible - I'm proud of them. Others came and went - they simply stayed where they are. Doing what they can best - not dying. Damn heroes, get'em an EK I!"...






WALLY:
"A far cry from my manicured gardens in New York and Florida, here in Appalachia I more or less let nature dapple my mountainside with colors..."











"I've always just assumed it was Mistress...



...."


TOPHER:
"These lovelies are growing, in pots, on my lanai/deck/porch right outside of my bedroom. They do get a bit droopy at times so I water them and they once again sing (mostly showtunes). I am sure they perform Martha Graham-esque modern dance moves when I am not around. That's what the neighbors tell me."...




PRINCESS:
"The Zygo cactus is the only real bit of colour at the moment...



The rainbow chard is the only thing worth showing off in the vege patch...



And as for the orchard it hadn't been pruned for about 3 years so today was the day! I was sick of trying to knock fruit down with a stick while it was growing at least 15 foot in the air...



Hopefully there will be more to show for next year with a little bit of work as the days get warmer"



JASON:
"Here's a photo of the extra classy
lawn ornament on the family estate:
the coon trap my father put out...
that's only ever caught possums."...




MISS SCARLET:
"Sadly this is not my garden. I don't really have a garden, only a very small patio that is surrounded by fields. I have wonderful views...



And some very charming bullocks in the field next door."...





INEXPLICABLE DeVICE (MR. DeVICE):
"Here are a couple of the most recent photos of Castlette DeVice's Pot Plot. This is just a taster for what is to come, as next year, I'm hoping to spread out a bit and take over some more of my sister Inexcuseable's garden.

I like my garden to be an amalgam of cottage & exotic garden, hence the foxgloves and aquilegias mingling with gunnera, pineapple lily and zantedeschia. Next year, I'm going to throw some edibles in there, too: Plants like, ginger, angelica and yams."...







(BRITISH) JON:
"We hoped, after last year's dreadful grey, cold and wet summer, that the gardens of Dolores Delargo Towers would be a bit better, more "blowsy" this year. And so it turned out...

We had a late start to spring after a cold winter, but that largely benefitted everything including the Tulips, Bluebells, Anemones, alpine Iris, Pear blossom and - their first year of flowering - the Aquilegias."

Aquilegia:



Tulips:



"For the first time in years, a warm spring spread into a warm summer, and that brought out the best in the giant Poppies, the Delphiniums and our wonderful Lilium regale. Throughout June and into July, the combination of scents from the Lilies, Sweet Peas, Jasmine, Honeysuckle and Stocks (day and night scented varieties) was breathtaking."

Lilies, delphinium and regal Pelargonium:



Poppies:



"And of course the warm weather has continued (even if interrupted with the occasional "monsoon"), and the Asarina ("climbing snapdragon"), Pelargoniums, Petunias, Gladioli and mixed window boxes are all thriving - and we have a second flush of hardy Geraniums, Delphiniums and a first flush of Cosmos to come!"

Asarina:



Front window box:



A joy.



RILEY:
"Photo #1: Notice the lovely curves of the edging between garden and lawn? They don't come easily. The 2" wooden border is slowly manipulated to curve like that. Bent, an inch at a time, With metal stakes. I've always loved nature."...



"Photo #2: Is me, also at the cottage, with my new puppy. PS I don't normally have booze on the front porch, "a friend" brought it."...





NORMA:
"Just finished final trim moments ago"...




Note: Norma is disqualified. And Banned By Infomaniac. Again.



MISTRESS MADDIE:
"Since I don't have a garden of my own , since I live in a condo complex and the gardening is done by the boys, my hoeing is up in the Pocono Mountains on weekend getways. The site where we stay is where the gardening and "hoeing" get done. It's a garden of head! What did you expect? At night some of the heads lights up with glowing eyes. Fun ,creepy, and twisted all the same time. Maybe next up will be a garden of cock!"...







"The more tasteful side of the garden is overlooked by a Grasshopper"...



"and this cute pup from the site entrance"...



"Now excuse me whilst I go enjoy a cock-a-tail and a good rub down from the hard work."


MISTRESS MJ:
Mistress MJ is all about the wildlife in her garden. They deserve their own separate post one of these days. In the meantime, another year, another generation of rabbits...




Please ignore the unruly bush in the background.


That's THE END, Bitches! Until this time, next year.



Thanks to everyone for opening the windows onto your beautiful gardens.

And remember...

"Gardening is cheaper than therapy and you get tomatoes."

Man With A Can

Infomaniac Bitch Huggy Jon has offered to water your blossoms while you're waiting for the Third Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos post...



Unless you'd rather do it yourself...



Monday, August 26, 2013

While You're Waiting...

Thanks to everyone who sent in their photo submissions on time for the Third Annual Garden Photos Event.

Not surprisingly, many of you waited until THE LAST MINUTE to submit your photos, thus forcing Mistress MJ into overdrive in an attempt to get the big upcoming Garden Photos Event post ready.


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Mistress MJ intends to take the day off from blogging, enjoying a day in her own garden, wearing the closest thing she has to Peggy Guggenheim sunglasses and enjoying a refreshing cocktail.

NOTE: I received quite a few submissions yesterday and haven't had time to respond to your email messages yet. Keep your pants on, Bitches.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Garden Photos - Final Reminder

SUNDAY, AUGUST 25th is the deadline to submit your garden photos for the THIRD ANNUAL INFOMANIAC GARDEN PHOTOS EVENT.



So quit pissing around and SUBMIT.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Filthy Friday - Banned By Infomaniac Edition

This man did not submit his photos on time for the Third Annual Garden Photos Event...


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Thursday, August 22, 2013

Lawn Ornaments

Lawn ornaments, trellises, wind chimes, planters and other items of garden décor are acceptable submissions in the Third Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos Event.


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As is any wildlife that visits your garden.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Gay Ware

If Mistress MJ were giving away prizes for the Third Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos Event (details here,) she would reward you with this charming gay gift set...






[photos via]

But since the Third Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos Event (deadline Sunday, August 25th) is NOT a contest, you can ignore this post.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Garden Photos Deadline

Listen up, Bitches, because you are only going to get ONE reminder after this.



Sunday, August 25th is the deadline to submit your photos for the Third Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos Event.

The photos will be posted as soon as possible after the deadline.

Submit a photo (or 2 or 3) of your garden or your houseplants.


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Remember to include a brief blurb about your photo(s).

Get growing, Bitches!

NOTE: This is NOT a contest.

You do not have to appear personally in the photo although if you wish to include a photo of yourself with your plants, clothing is optional.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Infomaniac Department of ...

In an attempt to micromanage you Bitches, Mistress MJ has decided create a new department.


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We want to know what sort of department is needed here at Infomaniac and what you would call it.

The Department of (fill in the blank).

Of course, we'll need staff too so if you wish to apply for a position, please include your staff title and credentials.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Are You A Retail Slut?


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Are you a retail slut?

Answer now and receive a free bonus compact mirror from the Infomaniac Shopping Network!

Friday, August 16, 2013

Filthy Friday - Denture Adventure

Blowjobs...


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Which method is better?

False teeth in?

Or false teeth out?

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Has Anybody Seen My Lipstick?

A study reveals that the average woman spends £15k (over $23,000 U.S.) in her lifetime replacing make-up she has lost.


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Those who do their makeup on the morning commute are some of the worst hit, with one in three leaving some on public transport.

Almost half have lost makeup in the back of a cab, a quarter has dropped some down the toilet and a third waved it goodbye after leaving it at an ex-partner’s house.

One in ten (9 per cent) have dropped makeup down the drain and a quarter (27 per cent) have left some in a restaurant.