Filthy Friday

Click to enlarge...

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Christmas List

Source: The Star (Crawfordsville, Indiana) December 10, 1904.
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What's on your list, Bitches?

Public Service Announcement #24

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This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Tree Trimming Time

Won't you help us decorate the Infomaniac Christmas tree?


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Ménage à Trois of the Month

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Clicking the photo to enlarge it, I see that the photo was taken at the "Knights Inn" chain of hotels.

Couple of the Month

Cock Rings and Chains and Things

Incorporate any of the items (in the text of this book or the photo) into a song.


[via Zenfancy]

My tune would be sung to "The Sound of Music" song, "My Favourite Things."

♫Men wearing cock rings attached to their noodles
Chains at the tearoom where I eats me strudels
Big manly packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favourite things♫

Taking Notes

Mistress MJ has discovered that you Bitches have been taking copious notes regarding my whereabouts...



Old busy body biddies include the following:

Huggy Jon, suggesting that I better work.

British Jon suggesting I'm a smut-peddling-slut.

Miss Scarlet rehashing a tarot card reading she did for me in 2011. To be fair, she DID foresee chocolate Hobnobs in my future and that's one prediction that came true.

Miss Normadesmond's post smells like yesterday's fish.

Frankly, this all seems rather conspiratorial.


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Don't you Bitches have a Red Hat Society meeting to attend?

UPDATE: Herr Mago's on board the Welcome Wagon with Joe Cocker and pizza and bongos.

UPDATE: Cookie has me in the kitchen. Wait, that doesn't sound right.

what the fuckity fuck is this?

Mistress MJ has been busy with a number of projects that require her full attention, leaving precious little time to blog.



I have some free time today so I decided to get caught up with what YOU Bitches have been doing by logging into my current feed reader, "Feedly." (Remember when I had to replace Google Reader with Feedly? *sigh*)

So I tried to log into Feedly, only to have a pop-up window appear, saying that I must log in to Feedly by creating a public Google Plus profile.

Feedly is now using Google+ as their unifying identity system. (Article about it here.)

But wait! Apparently, we have choices...

"We also understand that some people would prefer to have more identity choices. So we have been testing twitter, facebook and wordpress login options. We will be rolling them out over the next 7 weeks."

Well, I don't HAVE a Twitter account, a Facebook account or a Wordpress account so that leaves me up Shit Creek, does it not?

Mistress MJ does not have time for this shit.

Infomaniac is temporarily closed until further notice.


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Note: Use of the word "fuckity" attributed to Infomaniac Bitch and Belfast's greatest waiter, Manuel.

UPDATE: For those who find I’m talking gibberish, FEEDLY is a service which organizes your favorite web sites and blogs into a magazine-like page. It enables you to read all the updates of your fave blogs without having to click on each blog to see if someone has updated their blog.

 

Party Games

In Mistress MJ's absence, she has arranged a party and a party game for you Bitches.


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Pull Up To My Bumper Baby

LX is driving around town this weekend, cruising for chicks, with the 3.5 straight men who read Infomaniac...



Good luck, fellas.

Happy Hallowe'en!

It's time to hit the Hershey Highway, Bitches!


[via Zenfancy]

The Devil In Miss Norma

This Halloween, Miss Normadesmond will be showing up at your house.


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Will you be ready for her?

Have a Nice Day, Bitches

Something has come up but Mistress MJ will return on Tuesday. In the meantime...

Exercise, the Infomaniac Way

Miss Normadesmond shows you how...

Filthy Friday

Yesterday, you witnessed for yourselves how difficult it is for Mistress MJ to find skilled houseboys.

Let's see if they're any better at ironing than at Hoovering...


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As usual, click to enlarge the photo.

Suck It Up

When I asked one of the Houseboys to do the housework and to "suck it up," this is NOT what I meant...


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Blog Advice Wanted

Mistress MJ wants your advice, Bitches.

I'm helping "a friend" create a blog.


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As you know, I'm no technical wizard so this is rather like the blind leading the blind.

He wants to create a blog to showcase his photographs and he wants to use BLOGGER.

My question to you Bitches is this:

What template can he use so that his photographs appear LARGE?

As you know, on my blog, you often have to click on a photo to enlarge it. That's because if I use the "original size" button or even the "X-Large" option under "Choose a layout," part of the photo isn't visible, possibly(?) because the margins of my blog aren't wide enough to accommodate a big photo. Honestly, I don't know why. Anyhoo...

I'll give you an idea of what we're looking for. Have a look at the photos on this post, created by our Princess. They're big, bold and beautiful...much like Prinny herself! That's the look we're going for.

Can you help a Bitch out with suggestions?


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Note: He will be loading the photos to his Blogspot blog from his personal computer and doesn't want to use a photo storing/image hosting programme such as Photobucket, etc. And he's not  interested in Tumblr or any option other than Blogger. He simply wants BIG photos on a Blogspot blog.

A Couple of Queens

Norma and Her Majesty...



Separated at birth?

Peenee's Park 'n' Pitstop

Back in September, Mr. Peenee left a comment here on Infomaniac, saying, "I want to run a trailer park, some place for all the Infomaniac tramps to call home. I would name it Peenee's Park n' Pitstop."

Bitches, Mr. Peenee's wish has been granted...


(Click photo to enlarge)
[photo via]

Note that Peenee's Park 'n' Pitstop is not associated with the Infomaniac Trailer Park.

Amuse Yourselves, Bitches

Mistress MJ is away for the day. Please amuse yourselves in her absence...


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Filthy Friday

Ladies Who Lunch

The table is set for lunch. Here we see Princess, Norma, Cookie...



and Peenee...



The ladies are looking toward the door. Well, all except for Princess who seems lost in thought.

What's going on here?

Ménage à Trois of the Month

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For Your Protection

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Infomaniac: ventilated and disinfected every day, for your protection.


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Dishwasher Fungus

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How do you wash your dishes? Choose one of the following answers:

1. Dishwasher.
2. By hand.
3. I throw them out the window when they're dirty; a trick I learned from Lisa Douglas on Green Acres...



If you answered "#1. Dishwasher," be warned. Your dishwasher may be trying to kill you.

This is old news to those of you who read "Fungal Biology" but for the rest of you, be aware that studies have found that dishwashers are the perfect host for extremotolerant fungi, which includes black yeast, a type of yeast potentially dangerous to human health. The fungi are tolerant to heat, detergents and salt, allowing them to thrive and grow in the dishwasher environment -- especially on the rubber band of dishwasher doors.

Black yeast can cause disease in both healthy and compromised immune systems. If inhaled, these fungi can colonize the lungs and cause infections that can be difficult to treat. People who are taking antibiotics and those with poor immune systems, diabetes, and cystic fibrosis are at greater risk of lung and skin infections caused by the fungi.

What can you do to banish fungi from your dishwasher?

Follow these steps, as found here:

Baking soda, vinegar, and bleach may help to kill mold, mildew, and fungi growing on the inside surfaces of your dishwasher. This cleaning regimen should be done once per month to prevent fungi from taking hold.

Start by removing all racks and washing them by hand in hot soapy water. Use a soapy sponge to wipe down the dishwasher's interior surfaces and around the rubber door seal. Let everything air dry thoroughly.

Combine a half cup of white vinegar with 2 cups of hot water in a spray bottle. Spray all surfaces thoroughly and scrub with an old toothbrush around the crevices and seal. Use a scrub brush for large surfaces.

Put the racks back into the dishwasher. Fill a small glass bowl with vinegar and place it on the top rack. Run the washer on the hottest setting. Sprinkle 1 cup of baking soda on the dishwasher floor and run the machine a second time on high heat.

Finish by running the washer with a commercial dishwasher cleaner, followed by hand cleaning all surfaces with a four-to-one mixture of hot water and bleach.


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This all seems like rather a lot of bother, doesn't it?

Mistress MJ advises you to give this task to your houseboys.

NOTE: Mistress MJ is in the habit of cleaning her dishwasher on a monthly basis as a matter of hygiene and to keep it smelling fresh. However, I had no idea there is an actual FUNGUS capable of thriving in the dishwasher! Nonetheless, dishwasher fungus is the least of my worries at the moment so unless I see THIS winking at me...


dishwasher fungus "Exophiala dermatitidis"...also found in washing machines

...I'll be on the fainting chaise with a cocktail.

Thanksgiving Day

It's Thanksgiving Day here in Canada and Mistress MJ gives thanks for Bitches like you...



Thanks to every one of you wacky Bitches for making Infomaniac what it is today...whatever THAT is.

You're what make this blog.

Talking Turkey

It’s Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada.

Why I won’t be purchasing a turkey to cook on Thanksgiving Day…



…especially (don’t click on the link if you’re sensitive, like me, to animal cruelty) a Butterball turkey.

Recently, I was watching a television programme where a turkey farmer was being interviewed. In the background, a “tom” (male turkey) was fidgeting about. The interviewer asked, “What is that turkey doing?” to which the farmer replied, “He’s masturbating.”

The fact that a turkey was frantically masturbating on national television and this event was treated like it was nothing unusual, gave me pause for thought. (And I know what you’re thinking. A masturbating turkey sounds rather amusing but I was not laughing.)

Because suddenly it hit me why the turkey was masturbating.

Today’s “super turkeys” (also known as the “Broad Breasted White”); the kind most often found in your supermarket, are bred on overcrowded factory farms for maximum breast size. Because of their over-sized breasts, the toms are too heavy to mate naturally with the hens. The hens must be artificially inseminated. It’s a traumatic experience for both males and females. So is it any wonder that the turkey on TV was masturbating?



Call me old-fashioned but in my opinion, this isn’t right.

The hens are never in contact with their chicks. As a result, the chicks don’t learn survival skills based on behavioural clues from their mothers, not to mention that hen and chick are deprived of maternal bonding.


Above: How it should be.

Turkeys not forced to live on factory farms “spend their days caring for their young, building nests, foraging for food, taking dust baths, preening themselves, and roosting high in trees.” These simple, natural pleasures are denied the factory farm turkeys.

Oh, and did I mention that due to their large size, factory farm turkeys can’t run or fly? Wild turkeys can fly at speeds up to 55 miles an hour and run 18 miles an hour. Factory farm turkeys don’t run; they waddle.

The turkeys our ancestors raised or purchased, known today as “heritage turkeys,” have become rare breeds although there are efforts underway to increase their numbers.

I'm not insisting that we all become vegetarians but the manner in which the food industry operates must be challenged and changed.

So if you do eat turkey, perhaps you’ll consider purchasing a local, organic, small farm-raised turkey, or a heritage turkey instead. Even if the issue of ethical turkey farming isn’t important to you, you’ll notice an improvement in the flavor.

The Key to the Closet Door

"Some men drink to drown their sorrows, others to hide their fears. For a great many latent gays, alcohol holds the key to the closet door."

Does this...


[via Zenfancy]

Lead to this?...


[via Zenfancy]

If so, you may be a latent homosexual with a drinking problem...

"Latent homosexuals often require the excuse of "being drunk" before they are able to give in to their true sexual desires."

"As a bachelor and a construction foreman, George enjoyed a well-paying job and ample opportunity to engage in all the heterosexual activities he could want or need."


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"The fact that he seemed to drink excessively was attributed to the stereotype of the hard-drinking construction worker and to his own admission that he liked "getting drunk with the boys.""

So why not join the Infomaniac Drinking Team...


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... and get drunk with the boys!

The Infomaniac Drinking Team: Here for you, whatever the season, whatever the reason.

Anouk Aïata

We here at Infomaniac enjoy listening to the songs of Parisienne chanteuse, Anouk Aïata.



Anouk cites a few of her influences as Ella Fitzgerald, Barbra Streisand, and Dalida.

Combining jazz, folk, and gypsy rhythms, her music is the perfect tonic after a long day of all work and no play.

Listen for yourself as she sings, accompanied by cellist Amos Mâh, “Pourquoi regardes-tu la lune?” (Why Are You Looking At The Moon?); a song about a woman who catches her lover staring wistfully at the moon…

Beat the Clock

It's time someone got off their arse and posted something new around here, isn't it?

Small Cock

We here at Infomaniac hope to be up and running again soon. In the meantime, here's a small cock...


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Close-up in case you didn't notice it the first time...