Friday, December 06, 2013

Taking Notes

Mistress MJ has discovered that you Bitches have been taking copious notes regarding my whereabouts...



Old busy body biddies include the following:

Huggy Jon, suggesting that I better work.

British Jon suggesting I'm a smut-peddling-slut.

Miss Scarlet rehashing a tarot card reading she did for me in 2011. To be fair, she DID foresee chocolate Hobnobs in my future and that's one prediction that came true.

Miss Normadesmond's post smells like yesterday's fish.

Frankly, this all seems rather conspiratorial.


[via]

Don't you Bitches have a Red Hat Society meeting to attend?

UPDATE: Herr Mago's on board the Welcome Wagon with Joe Cocker and pizza and bongos.

UPDATE: Cookie has me in the kitchen. Wait, that doesn't sound right.

58 comments:

  1. *claps hands like a demented seal being demented*
    Sxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. *like a demented seal wearing a red hat....*
    Sxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good heavens! There must be a hidden camera in my living room!
      Sx

      Delete
  3. Does The Mistress need anything fluffed?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have things in need of fluffing, shaking, and stirring, Mr. Lax.

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. JON: That’s all fine and good.

      Just don’t let me see any of this.

      Delete
    2. Sorry JON, as much as I liked to comment on your blog, but non-google is seemingly not allowed.

      Bück' dich und ich mach' dich glücklich springs to my mind when I watch the video ...

      Delete
  5. You're back! Oh my God, oh my God!

    She's back, bitches. Did you see???

    THE BITCH IS BACK

    I'm so happy, sweetheart!

    *sloppy kisses*

    I missed you and your smut, fishy smell, hobnobs... whatever?

    *more wet sloppy kisses*

    Can you see how glad we all are?

    *more hugs and kisses*

    I hope you brought some food and booze. There's hardly anything left in this dump.

    Hugs
    Jon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HUGGY JON: Tu m'as manqué.

      The Gincuzzi and the Vodka Fountain are turned on. Are YOU?

      Delete
  6. I have to feed the Red Hats every Saturday & they've asked me to join, (seriously it must be my matronly figure)...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DESIGNING WALLY: Your matronly figure?

      Or the box of Midol they found in your medicine cabinet?

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. HAYWARD: Glad YOU’RE back, my long lost friend.

      However, I must ask you to moor your pleasure craft elsewhere.

      Remember what team you’re batting for!

      Delete
  8. Ditto Jon and Hayward. Can I motorboat with my teeth out?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GROUCHY: I’m surprised any Infomaniac Bitches still have their own teeth!

      Delete
  9. Red? Are you implying I should wear red because of my bedroom antics? Oh and by the way, you'll have to keep that gift, I didn't save the receipt!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: You’re the original Scarlet Woman!

      Delete
  10. Do I hear the vodka fountain pump ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That noise is Ms Nations... Still free diving...

      Delete
    2. Heck - she got lungs, the old gal ... despite all that shit she smoked ... she possibly morphed into a kind of Lurch or something ...

      Delete
    3. MAGO & PRINNY: I’m hoping that Ms. Nations will bake a batch of her famous brownies.

      Delete
  11. Missing baggage always turns up....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PRINNY & MAGO: Are you two Bitches working as a team today?

      Delete
    2. " 't was a tough day and we worked the hole ..."

      Delete
  12. Replies
    1. SAVANNAH: Oui Oui Si Si Ja Ja Da Da!

      Delete
  13. I shall strip off my clothes and prance up and down my street in Baltimore in celebration of MJ's return!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And would Mistress ALSO pay a visit to the HHoF? It is sorely, and I mean SORELY in need of your check in.

      Delete
    2. COOKIE: So you’re the Baltimore Streaker!

      I’ll pay a visit to The Hair Hall of Fame later. I could use a “blow and go.”

      Delete
  14. i love the smell of conspiracy in the morning!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its always best served fresh dear

      Delete
    2. NORMA & MADDIE: *sprays Febreze liberally*

      Delete
  15. Replies
    1. [ Place gushing sentiments here ]

      Delete
    2. MITZI: Ta, luv.

      *cleans up gushing spots with Wet Wipes*

      Delete
  16. Glad you're back, Mistress. I'm bringing my granny to join the gang. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LENI: Tell your gran to keep her teeth in.

      This is a rough crowd and she’ll need them to bite back.

      Delete
  17. Wurs the meeting? *puts red hat on*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HIPSTER YAYA: All directional queries can be addressed through our Official Infomaniac Greeter.

      Delete
  18. BITCHES: A big "danke sehr" to Herr Mago who's created a post to welcome me back.

    Although I'm not OFFICIALLY back yet. I'm just keeping up appearances lest I forget how to blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LX: Potty mouth!

      I shall make every attempt to blog whenever I can this month. Who knows? Perhaps soon! I miss all the fun and frivolity and bitchiness.

      Delete
    2. bitchiness, did someone say bitchiness?

      Delete
    3. I too have honored you with a post.

      Delete
    4. A sign of life at least - we are so glad with sumpthing at least !

      Delete
    5. NORMA: And did the same person who mentioned bitchiness also mention cake?

      COOKIE: I shall skate right over.

      MAGO: I have a pulse.

      Delete
  19. I've been attending an MJ deprivation support group ...at the free clinic. ..since you left
    Welcome back!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JASON: Two-for-one special: MJ deprivation support AND clap shot!

      Delete
    2. OK. Let's try this again...

      Hi. My name is Jon and I am an Infomaniacoholic.

      Delete
    3. Say it fast, Huggy Jon!

      Delete
  20. I know where you are at all times: in my heart!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. THOM: I’ve forgotten what the question was but THAT is the right answer!

      All other Bitches take notice.

      Delete