Saturday, December 23, 2017

The Mistress Loses the Plot

SUNDAY will be our last post until after Christmas. But today, The Mistress shares a vignette from her holiday baking...


[via]

As you can see, The Mistress spent Friday in a frenzy of baking. We haven't seen this much whisk-wielding and cake-sniffing since the Infomaniac Kitchen Queen Contest!

Pleased with her bounty of baked goods, The Mistress felt she deserved a little libation...



Before we continue, a word about The Mistress's kitchen. Floor-to-ceiling windows overlook the backyard where a variety of woodland creatures wander about at all times of day. The Mistress provides fresh water in a bowl each day for them, within close view of the windows.

And now back to our post-baking, cocktail-imbibing scenario...

The Mistress, happily enjoying her cocktail, noticed a couple of squirrels approach the water bowl for a drink.

And this, Bitches, is where The Mistress loses her tenuous grip on reality...

She exclaimed aloud, to the squirrels, "Look! Mummy's enjoying a beverage too!"



Please return for Sunday's Christmas post, if The Mistress hasn't completely lost the plot by then.

29 comments:

  1. The squirrels simply eyed each other. "There she goes again," said the brown one. "Sad really," agreed the gray one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PEENEE: It’s no secret that I talk to the animals but this is the first time I’ve called myself their mother.

      It’s a slippery slope to madness.

      Delete
  2. And if the last few posts are an indication, it would seem the squirrels also inherited Mommy's love of nuts!

    I raise a glass of Riesling to you. Cheers! And hooray for the bountiful baking bonanza!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EROS: Thank goodness The Mistress doesn’t have a nut allergy.

      I raise my glass in your general direction with good tidings.

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. LX: If I could get that cake link to work again, I’d post it right now!

      Delete
  4. Oh, dear. All this baking isn't for you to reenact Joseph Pujol's career with your own inimitable twist, is it?

    P.S. Reality is overrated. Let go - we haven't been over the Cusp in ages!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MR. DeVICE: I’d like to add “fartiste” to my résumé just to see if the employer would dare ask me about it or would he feign knowledge of the profession.

      Delete
  5. Don't just stand there admiring the wildlife let them in and set them to work

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MITZI: A chipmunk once ran into my kitchen.

      Had I seen this video earlier, I would have handed him the broom and set him to work instead of using it to chase him out.

      Delete
  6. Now your sounding more like me. I cook and watch the creatures too. Friends always joke it's like Snow White, with birds flying about assisting me.Should we start a cooking show..The Cooking Mistresses- Too Hot to Handle. Talk about,boozy fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: Your bird posts are very reminiscent of my daily life.

      My friends and relatives look into my yard (both front and back) and say, “It’s like the fucking Disney Channel out here!”

      A cooking channel for the two Mistresses? The Sizzlin’ Sisters!

      Delete
    2. The relatives peer at your backyard? It must be a sight to behold.

      Delete
  7. I'll never understand how those marinated squirrels didn't make it into your Christmas loaf. Waste not, want not!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NORMA: You could get yourself banned for that kind of talk.

      I love all my little woodland creatures and I feel guilty when I eat bacon in front of them.

      Delete
    2. How do you know squirrels taste like bacon, then? Jx

      Delete
    3. JON: Oh dear, this conversation has gone off the rails … just like The Mistress.

      Delete
  8. Replies
    1. Nothing to freak out about I think. You stand in a long tradition of people who speak with the animals, from Greek musicians and demi-gods to Catholic Saints - think Francis (and his cantico delle creature).
      Maybe its signs of your imminent cosmic enlightenment, insight in all what is, was & will be etc.pp. Just go with the transcendent flow.

      Delete
    2. MAGO: Danke. I’m going with the flow, as we speak … the flow from the Vodka Fountain.

      Delete
  9. Cheers! It's cocktail time here and I'm raising my tall Sea Breeze in your general direction!! Happy Christmas, sugarpie! xoxox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SAVANNAH: Sea Breeze? For a moment, I thought you were referring to a men’s cologne but I’m sure you haven’t stooped to drinking that.

      Delete
  10. Mmmm, lovely - snot icing. Jx

    ReplyDelete
  11. Isn't talking to the animals one of Unsere Liebe Frau's miracles?

    ReplyDelete